When it’s Good to Think About Death

I’ve been thinking a lot about death lately.

It’s not as morbid as is sounds. I’m not depressed or unhappy. While I’m in a creative lull waiting for feedback on my latest book, I’ve decided to tackle some projects I’d been putting off. A few of them made me face my own mortality. Rather than shy away, I’m trying to lean in, putting things in place that will make my inevitable passing easier for those I leave behind while giving me peace of mind now.

1. REVIEWING OUR LIFE INSURANCE POLICIES 

Besides the blazing Phoenix heat, something my wife Lisa and I dislike about summer is the handful of life and disability insurance policy bills that come due. In reviewing them recently, we realized that our most expensive policy was no longer necessary. As empty nesters in our early fifties, our life situation has changed enough from when we established the policy that we could let it go. Reminding myself of how much coverage we had and when each policy is due to lapse also gave me reassurance that we were prepared for the future.

2. REVIEWING OUR FAMILY TRUST

Nine years ago, we hired an estate attorney to help us establish a Family Trust. It’s a legal document that spells out what we want to happen to our financial and material assets when we die, along with guardianship instructions for our children. Having a Trust in place will make settling our estate much easier for our beneficiaries, in all likelihood our kids. Not only does it clearly describe our wishes, it allow our assets to be distributed without going through probate, the mandatory court process that normally kicks in when someone dies.

In the last nine years, our situation has changed dramatically. Both kids are married, established in their careers, and great money managers. The safeguards we had in place for the doling out of our financial assets to them no longer made sense. I contacted our estate attorney and am now bringing our Trust up to date. Our attorney realized that when I refinanced the mortgage on one of our rental properties a few years ago, I inadvertently removed it from the Trust, a mistake he is now fixing. This process is a gift we’re giving our kids now that they will greatly appreciate when we’re gone.

3. REVIEWING OUR WILLS AND ADVANCED HEALTH CARE DIRECTIVES

Similar to a Trust, a will can state how you want your assets distributed after you die. It is simpler, but unlike a Trust, it has to go through probate. We have ours as a document nested inside our Trust. A quick review of our wills showed that they were still good to go, as were our living wills, a type of advanced health care directive. I made sure these still reflected our wishes regarding what medical care we do and do not want in the event that we cannot speak for ourselves due to accident or illness. It’s reassuring to know that we will receive the care we desire if that situation arises. Also, we’re taking the devastating burden of making those types of decisions off the shoulders of our loved ones.

So how about you? Have you thought about your own death in a healthy, proactive way lately? If you’re feeling guilty or overwhelmed right now, relax. Take a deep breath. You’re not alone, and this is not as hard as it sounds. A few relatively simple steps can go a LONG way toward you giving this incredible gift of preparedness to yourself and your loved ones:

1. Review your life and disability insurance policies.

Most people are covered for disability by social security. A quick check of your online social security account can confirm that for you. In most cases, simple term life insurance policies are relatively inexpensive and easy to set up. You can shop online for competitive rates. If you want advice in figuring out how much you need, it’s worth talking to an expert. In most cases, you don’t have to pay for it, as life insurance salespeople are paid by the company they help you establish a policy with. Obviously, it’s important to choose someone trustworthy with experience and good online reviews.

2. Consider establishing a Family Trust.

This is a more intensive process and requires an estate planning attorney, but it covers all your bases and is an inclusive option. Your attorney will help you prepare your will and advanced health care directive at the same time, so you can wrap up all your estate planning needs at once. They also help you think through things would never occur to you on your own. Again, an online search for a highly recommended estate attorney is a great first step. If you work with an accountant or other financial professional, they may have someone they can recommend.

3. Make (or review) your will and advanced health care directive.

If you decide not to create a Trust, these are very important but relatively simple documents to prepare. Using an attorney is obviously the most comprehensive route, but there are relatively inexpensive online options as well. legalzoom.com is a well know and highly rated website that has low cost forms you can fill out yourself, and they have lawyers on call to answer any questions.

4. Make a simple “upon my death” sheet.

On it, write the location of and access info for important documents like your Trust and will. List your financial accounts (bank and retirement) and life insurance policies, along with the names and contact info of any financial or insurance professionals you work with and the people you’d like to be told of your passing.

Whatever steps you choose to take, make sure you share them with your loved ones. Show them where you keep important documents or give them copies where appropriate. Estate planning can be a daunting task. Take it one step at a time. Schedule yourself one small task a week. Before you know it, you’ll be sleeping easier and feeling the joy of having given your loved ones an incredible gift. And you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.