My wonderful readers – I am working hard on the revisions requested by my editor for my debut novel which will publish next summer with Penguin Random House (more details to come in future posts!). So for a few weeks, I’ll be mining some popular posts from previous years. This one was originally published October 10, 2020. Thank you so much for your support and understanding! I hope you find this helpful on your journey toward Becoming Yourself.
My wife Lisa and I were scrolling through Netflix documentaries recently and came across Minimalism, a film that started us on a significant journey four years ago. Rewatching it reminded me of just how far we’d come. Back then, we were living in a big house filled with possessions. Every closet was packed. Both garages were overflowing. Everywhere you looked was more stuff.
Watching Minimalism the first time made me realize how I’d bought into the idea that more stuff equals more happiness, even though my life experience told me that wasn’t true. That documentary showed me that my possessions come with a price – not just the cost and financial stress of buying more stuff, but the maintaining, cleaning, and storing that goes along with it. Then there’s the emotional and mental drain of living in cluttered, disorganized spaces. I looked around my house and felt the weight of it all. I was ready for a change.
Grabbing a legal pad, I wandered the house, writing down every area that needed decluttering – closets, under beds, cabinets, garages, drawers, the backyard. I ended up with an overwhelming list. Because it felt less daunting, I started with one small closet, taking everything out and sorting items into four piles: keep, sell, donate, trash. For an item to be kept, it needed to have true utility (ex: a vacuum cleaner) or bring me real joy (thanks for the tip, Marie Kondo).
Looking at the freshly cleaned and organized closet, I felt lighter, more calm. The good vibes gave me enough motivation to keep going. Week after week, month after month, I slowly made my way through the list. It took about a year and a half to do the entire house inside and out, but when I was done, the feeling was incredible. I didn’t know at the time that this was just preparing my wife and I for what was to come.
A short while later, as I was in the process of winding down my music career to pursue writing, we decided to move to California to be near our son. We took the opportunity to discuss not only where we wanted to live but how. A smaller space. Less stuff. Low maintenance. A walkable area. We opted for a significant change, moving from our rambling house in the Phoenix suburbs to a much smaller apartment in highly walkable midtown Sacramento. We packed our favorite clothes, books, mementos, and necessities and moved via one road trip, eleven shipped boxes, and checked airline luggage. Then we hired an auction company, who sold both our cars and everything else we owned in one day. Now we own relatively few possessions and no vehicles. We absolutely love our simpler lifestyle.
As we rewatched Minimalism the other day, it struck me that what once felt like such a radical idea now seems so logical and familiar. We’ve really worked a simpler, more minimalist mindset into our lives. I honestly don’t miss all our stuff. In the past when I saw large, gorgeous homes filled with the finest things, I would think how amazing it would be to live there. Now it looks crowded and stressful. So much stuff to pay for, clean, maintain, and store.
To be clear, I’m not anti-stuff. I like stuff. A certain amount of stuff does add to happiness and ease of life. But how many sweatshirts or coffee mugs or shoes or kitchen gadgets or fill-in-the-blank do I really need? Simplifying our relationship to material possessions has led to less financial, mental, and emotional stress, and more peace, contentment, free time, and relaxation. Learning to say no to debt and unnecessary purchases has opened up opportunities for us to say yes to the things we really want and value like good food, giving, and travel.
So how’s your relationship with your stuff? Does it really give you the lasting joy the advertisers promised? Try holding off on that next impulse purchase. Wait a few days and see if you still really want it. Pick an area to declutter today. Let some stuff go. See if you miss it. With each small action, you’ll feel a little less weight and a little more peace as you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
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