3 Life Lessons from “Love on the Spectrum”

Sometimes it really is love at first sight.

That was the case for me with the Netflix show Love on the Spectrum. In this heartwarming and insightful documentary series, people on the autism spectrum share their journeys to find love. Here are three life lessons from this utterly engaging show:

1. PERSONAL STORIES CAN BUILD EMPATHY AND UNDERSTANDING

While I learned much about autism in general, it was through the lens of personal, intimate stories of a wide variety of people. I rooted for kind-hearted Mark, cheered for earnest Michael, and hoped for sweet Chloe. They put names, faces, personalities, and very real emotions to a neurological divergence that I’d previously only known in generalities. My understanding and empathy for people on the spectrum grew significantly. I was reminded that sharing my own story has power to inform others, and that learning real-life stories of people from a different race, religion, political party, or economic class can help me build understanding and empathy with them as well.

2. VULNERABLE HONESTY IS SO REFRESHING

One of the consistent characteristics of people on the show was their complete lack of pretense. In both interviews and with their dates, these wonderful people shared openly about their desires, fears, needs, hurts, struggles, and hopes. Their level of honesty and vulnerability was utterly refreshing, and made me wonder if our propensity to hide our feelings is really protecting us as much as we believe. Their candor challenged to be more open about my real feelings with those around me, in a respectful and appropriate way.

3. WE’RE ALL THE SAME

As I watched the people on the show, what first stood out were their differences to those of us not on the spectrum—behavior, personality, interests, appearance, manners of speech. As time went on, those differences faded to the background, eclipsed by the important things we all have in common—a desire for happiness, fulfillment, companionship, to know and be known, to love and be loved. While often difficult to see, the things that unite us really do outweigh the things that divide us. I’m trying to remember that truth when I encounter people who see the world differently than I do.

This week, look for opportunities to build understanding and empathy by trading personal stories with people unlike you. In a respectful and appropriate way, be more honest about your true feelings. When interacting with someone who is different in some way, remember to look beneath the surface at what truly unites you. If you do, you’ll help build a better, more empathetic world, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.