My Daily Personal Growth Mistake

I’m guilty of it virtually every day. 

When I see someone on the street, in a store or restaurant, even on TV, within seconds I make judgements about their personality, choices, character, past mistakes, present circumstances, future prospects, etc. These nearly instantaneous assessments can be positive or negative.

And they’re often wrong.

Here’s a story from our city of Tempe Arizona’s effort to end homelessness. It reminded me of just how misplaced my snap judgements usually are:

DJ was often overlooked by those passing him by on the streets. But our HOPE outreach team (Homeless Outreach Prevention Effort) always took notice, offering snacks and water as they worked to build rapport and gain his trust. At times, it was difficult for the 67-year-old man to communicate. Patiently, our team pieced together bits of his life: military service, a serious gunshot wound, a months-long coma, confusion wandering the streets, forgotten family, an inability to ask for help. 

DJ, called “crazy’’ by some, was a man who served his country and rose to the rank of colonel. 

Our outreach specialists offered DJ a motel room in the city’s temporary shelter program, provided basic necessities, began gathering ID and other vital documents, helped reinstate his Social Security, and reconnected him with veterans’ services. Through their work, DJ also learned that he had had a wife. Confused at first, he showed a glimmer of recognition and another piece of his history fell into place.

Outreach specialist Amanda Fleming, who is now working to secure permanent housing for DJ, says: “DJ never has to sleep another night on the streets, and he is able to receive some of the services he deserves as a man who fought for our country.”

Tempe homeless solutions update, october 14, 2021

I wonder if I’ve seen DJ as I’ve walked through the city. If I did, I can confidently say that my judgements about him weren’t remotely close to the truth. And not nearly charitable enough.

As you observe people today, take a moment to pause. Remember DJ. Let your judgements be kind. Generous. Compassionate. Err on the side of grace. Think of them as you’d like them to think of you. If you do, the eyes of your heart will sharpen, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.