Who’s dumb idea was this trip anyway? I thought. Then I remembered it was my dumb idea. Helpful.
I suddenly came up with a brilliant plan. It was genius. I would simply wrap the support line connecting me to the overhead wire around my hand. That way, if the line somehow magically disconnected from my harness, I would have a good grip and save myself from plunging to my death.
Reflecting back, I realized that the cause of my anxiety and pain was not actually fear. It was lack of trust. The reason I was knock-kneed on the platform and in serious pain after stepping off it was because I didn’t trust the line to hold me. I should have. The camp had a great reputation and safety record, the facilitators were trained and experienced, and the equipment was tested and tried. Even so, I chose not to trust.
As you look at your life, where are you holding back in giving trust? With another person? Yourself? Your abilities? Your dreams? Are they worthy of trust? If so, what would it mean to take the risk and step off the platform? What good could come of it, for you and for others? Choose wisely, then take the leap. If you do, you’ll take another big step toward Becoming Yourself.
This post was originally published July 27, 2019
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Great post. I think the question "is this worthy of my trust" is a fine one, and one that I need to implement in my daily life. And once that criteria is met, I think that wholehearted living requires us to step off the ledge and not walk back down the ladder. Thanks for this!
Thanks so much for that Bill! I'm so glad it connected with your day to day reality in a helpful way. Your comment is such a good summary of what I was trying to say. You should be a writer! :)
I spent a summer as a camp counselor. My primary duty (other than supervising kids) was to work on a high ropes course - either on a small platform 30 feet up in the air, or on a small platform 65 feet up in the air. My job was to help kids learn to trust the wire.
What we found was that despite the number of times we showed the kids examples of how strong the wires were and how the rope in their carabiner would keep them safe even if the wire failed, they were still convinced that somehow, all of these things would fail ONLY WHEN THEY WERE ON THE COURSE. We all have the illusion that the laws of physics can be overruled by our fear.
Fear is a powerful thing. As humans, when life confronts us with something we fear, we become irrational and cling to whatever's comfortable, like a frightened child seeking refuge in her blanket. The more unpredictable life is, the more we dig in to our old patterns. The blanket doesn't change what's happening, but it provides the illusion of safety - a guide line. It's what we do at that point that's important, that defines us.
We might choose to remain crouched in a safe cocoon with our blanket covering us while outside the maelstrom howls. Some people live their entire lives this way, forever on guard against the next thunderclap.
Or we might take the blanket with us as we venture out into the storm...and discover that the thunder and lightning have a beauty and power all their own (even if we're still a little scared of them). It is when we refuse to be ruled by our fear that we start to glimpse our potential.
Squeaky, that is an awesome point and beautifully articulated. Thanks so much for taking the time to share that and to give us some first hand insight into the life of a high-ropes course instructor :) All the best.