An invitation is a mixed bag.
On one hand, it feels good to be thought of. Noticed. Wanted. Included. On the other hand, accepting is a commitment of time, energy, and sometimes money. And there’s often a sense of obligation that comes with an invitation—I don’t want to accept, but I feel like I should.
Invitations come in many varieties—parties, ball games, dates, charitable events, groups, etc. Welcome or not, those kinds of invitations are usually clear and understandable.
What is often murkier is when you’re invited to an argument. That’s when someone is passionate about an issue, often upset, and wants you to be a part of it. At times, accepting that invitation is a good, necessary, and noble thing to do. Sometimes we should engage to stand up for someone being oppressed, for a principle we believe in, for a cause worth fighting for.
But that’s often not the case. Many times, someone has a self-serving agenda, an ax to grind, or misplaced anger, and they want to suck you into their misery. These invitations should almost always be declined. The odds of you emerging victorious, or even making a positive impact, are low. More than likely, you’ll end up wasting your time and emotional energy, then walking away feeling beat up and frustrated.
So when someone invites you to an argument, pause. Recognize it for what it is. Decide if it’s a cause worth fighting for. Does it resonate with who you are and align with what you believe is yours to do? If so, accept. If not, politely decline and walk away. If you do, you’ll enjoy a more peaceful life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
This post was originally published Oct 15, 2022.
It’s been a turbulent month. An exhausting week of author school visits capped by a…
It’s happening quickly. Two years ago, there were eight people on my dad’s side of…
I was driven. Once I had the goal of being a traditionally published author in…
I have monkey mind. In my practice of silence, rather than the calm stillness I…
She captivated the crowd. The thousand of us in the hotel ballroom hung on every…
I’m a routine guy. I thrive in habits. This can be a real strength, as…