Mind

The Invitation You Should Probably Decline

An invitation is a mixed bag. 

On one hand, it feels good to be thought of. Noticed. Wanted. Included. On the other hand, accepting is a commitment of time, energy, and sometimes money. And there’s often a sense of obligation that comes with an invitation—I don’t want to accept, but I feel like I should.

Invitations come in many varieties—parties, ball games, dates, charitable events, groups, etc. Welcome or not, those kinds of invitations are usually clear and understandable.

What is often murkier is when you’re invited to an argument. That’s when someone is passionate about an issue, often upset, and wants you to be a part of it. At times, accepting that invitation is a good, necessary, and noble thing to do. Sometimes we should engage to stand up for someone being oppressed, for a principle we believe in, for a cause worth fighting for.

But that’s often not the case. Many times, someone has a self-serving agenda, an ax to grind, or misplaced anger, and they want to suck you into their misery. These invitations should almost always be declined. The odds of you emerging victorious, or even making a positive impact, are low. More than likely, you’ll end up wasting your time and emotional energy, then walking away feeling beat up and frustrated.

So when someone invites you to an argument, pause. Recognize it for what it is. Decide if it’s a cause worth fighting for. Does it resonate with who you are and align with what you believe is yours to do? If so, accept. If not, politely decline and walk away. If you do, you’ll enjoy a more peaceful life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published Oct 15, 2022.

Matt McMann

Matt McMann writes books for children and the personal development blog Becoming Yourself (becomingyourself.net).

Share
Published by
Matt McMann

Recent Posts

The US Election Will Soon Be Over—Then What?

I’m guessing you’re as tired of it as I am. The texts. The robocalls. The…

3 days ago

What a 3-Year-Old Taught Me About Riding Life’s Waves

As I finish my October author tour, here's a painful lesson I learned during a…

1 week ago

Do What Makes You Come Alive

As I'm currently on book tour, I thought this would be an appropriate post to…

2 weeks ago

Find Healing by Embracing Your Wounds

SPECIAL NOTE: I'm on book tour in October and may be in your area. I'd…

3 weeks ago

Use Autumn to Reflect

There’s something special about autumn. The crisp air. The vibrant purple, red, and gold leaves.…

1 month ago

A Simple Way to Help a Loved One in Pain

I’m a fixer. In response to a frustration, hurt, or problem in a loved one’s…

1 month ago