The deepest lessons take time to learn.
I love my life. My wife is an amazing partner. My kids are grown and thriving. I have a small group of good friends. I have my dream job of being an author. I still encounter stress, frustration, and hard times, but overall, life is good.
As I reflected recently on how I arrived at this wonderful season, I realized a critical factor—what I walked away from was as important as what I walked toward.
My wife and I got married when I was still in college. Knowing what I’d found in her, I chose to walk away from the freedom of single life to walk toward a committed relationship.
We made a conscious decision to have children early. While our friends were having fun, we were changing diapers. We walked away from the more carefree childless life to walk toward long, meaningful years of investing deeply in our kids.
Given the flexibility of our author careers, my wife and I can live anywhere. We enjoy travel and have seen a lot of wonderful places. When we chose where to plant roots a few years ago, we decided to move not to the most beautiful place we could go, but to the place where we had deep friendships. We walked away from novelty to walk toward relationships.
After decades of hard work, I had a comfortable music career. It was easy and fun, with low responsibility. But it didn’t challenge or excite me anymore, and it tied me to a strict rehearsal and performance schedule. I walked away from comfortable familiarity to walk toward a new, high-risk author career.
Saying no to good things made room for better things. What I walked away from was as important as what I walked toward.
I’m learning to love the sound of my feet walking away from things not meant for me.
a.g.
What do you need to walk away from? Maybe it’s a relationship that has become more baggage than ballast. Maybe it’s a career that’s grown stagnant. Maybe it’s a superficial sense of freedom. Picture the life you’d truly love to live. Look honestly at each area of your life now. Decide what you need to walk away from in order to walk toward something better. If you do, you’ll find deeper meaning and joy, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
The post was originally published Aug 20, 2022.
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Thank you for this reminder, Matt! Walking away from good things is inherently uncomfortable and I currently find myself in that uncomfortable season. This was a good read for me today.
I'm really glad to hear this was helpful! That place of decision is always a tough place to be. I hope you get the clarity you need on walking away. Thanks so much for reading and letting me know.
I had never really thought about the walking away or walking towards concept. I will spend time contemplating that at length today…. So interesting!! Thank you.
I'm so glad you found it interesting, Jacquie! I hope it brings helpful insights as you contemplate :) All the best and thanks so much for reading and reaching out!
Thank you, Matt. This post resonated with me. You are courageous in taking this path and it's inspiring. Take care :) .
Thank you so much for that Kat! I'm so glad the post connected. I really appreciate you taking the time to share that. It was so great to hear from you and I hope you and the family are doing fantastic :)
Loss of self is key to finding ones place in the world. Leaving all that encombers you is the first step, be it people, place, things, or ideals. One things we are what we have, what we do, who we socialize with, but that is not who we are. We are a spirit, we are a force. It matters not where with whom or what only that we are true not false. We suffer pain mental physical social if we are not living truth and honestly. Let go. Do not be afraid.
Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts, Uno! I agree that it's so easy to place our identity in possessions, our careers, or in other people, but a true healthy identity is found outside of those things. All the best!