The knots in my gut are beginning to relax.
Until I came to this quiet AirBnb in remote Skull Valley Arizona, I didn’t know they were there. The knots had been my companions for so long, they felt normal.
It makes sense. In the last 18 months, my wife’s father died. I had my debut author year. Was rushed to the hospital by ambulance with excruciating pain in my abdomen. Published five books. Went on three national book tours. My mom spent months in ICUs before dying in hospice. My wife and I sold three properties, including our primary residence. Bought a new vehicle. Sold and donated virtually all our possessions. Became digital nomads, living in hotels, AirBnbs, and with friends and family.
The depth and pace of stress and change, both thrilling and horrifying, have taken their toll. So as Lisa and I sit in a refurbished barn at the end of a three mile dirt road with nowhere to go, the twisted strands in my gut are loosening. I hadn’t realized how much I needed this.
I’m trying to lean into the silence. The stillness. The lack of busyness. To rest. To heal. To learn what God, the universe, my body, and my soul are trying to teach me.
Life has seasons. They come and go based on a mix of my own choices and factors completely beyond my control. In my confusion, laziness, and stress, I sometimes confuse the two. It often takes days like these to untangle the threads. I’m grateful for the opportunity.
Do you have hidden (or not so hidden) stress? Take a moment to pause. Be still. Breathe deep. Gaze into your life. Reflect. Be honest about what you see. Hear the voices of yourself, the universe, your Higher Power. Learn the lessons they have to teach. If you do, you’ll find relief, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
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18 months. When peace seems within reach, another event interrupts again, and again. But peace is still there, waiting on the focus of what is valued. Peace be with you, Matt.
It was a long haul, one that I know you are very familiar with. Your perspective on peace is welcome and appreciated. Peace be with you, Bob.
Wow, Matt, no wonder you had knots! Glad you're in a place where you can take some deep breaths and appreciate the quiet. Take care!
I really appreciate that, Marie! I hope all is well with you :)
Sometimes the knots (or in my case the headaches from holding my shoulders so tight from stress) almost seem to become a part of us because those physical symptoms have taken up residence so quickly and quietly. One of the only ways for me to begin to escape them is simplicity of thought, of activities, and of possessions….. which all take a huge amount of effort to do. So very valuable though. Such good and wise words, Matt.
I appreciate that a lot Jill. I'm sorry about the headaches, but applaud you for being able to see their cause and for taking steps to find relief. All the best to you and the family!