Are You Fluid Like Water or Fixed Like Stone?

I’ve been getting frustrated.

My wife Lisa and I have been pet sitting for our daughter and son-in-law for about a week. One cat, Mama, is an angel, while their other cat, PeePee, hates me with a passion. She frequently greets me with a hiss and a swipe of her claws. Their older dog Otis is a little Maltipoo. He can be a drama king, but he’s a lovable charmer and fairly easy to care for.

And then there’s Leonard. At six months old and nearly sixty pounds, this Bernedoodle is a handful. Imagine a giant toddler with fangs who’s strong enough to bowl you over.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Leonard. He’s goofy and fluffy and affectionate and playful and smart. He’s going to be an amazing adult dog. But right now he’s a puppy with no concept of his size and strength and a maw like a Great White. He needs almost constant attention to keep him from inadvertently destroying the house, himself, or us.

I love and thrive in routine. I get up, do my stretches and workout, make my tea and have my quiet time of meditation, reflection, and prayer. Lisa and I take our walk, then we dive into our work for the morning until 1:00 pm when we break for lunch and a few hours of creativity-replenishing reality TV. We round out the day with a late afternoon into early evening work session before going to bed early to read and play on our computers. 

Leonard is having none of it. He has his own schedule, thank you very much. But I can be stubborn and obtuse, so I’ve been trying to make Leonard work with my routine. I know that sounds idiotic, but when in the midst of a storm, sometimes my vision is cloudy.

Leonard is a force of nature, unyielding, with aspects beyond my control. My attempts to live my normal routine with him in the mix has only led to mounting frustration. Something has to change, and at this stage of his life, it isn’t going to be Leonard.

So Lisa and I have created a new routine that works with Leonard instead of fighting against him—shifting my quiet time, our lunch schedule, our TV watching. Spitting up watch duties instead of both of us being “on” during all his waking hours. Trying to become fluid like water vs fixed like stone. 

We’re in the midst of the change now, and the early results are promising. I’m already more relaxed, less stressed, and getting more done.

When life hands you a challenge you can’t avoid, adapt. Change your schedule, routine, and expectations to work with the new element vs against it. Shift your rigidity. Be fluid like water, not fixed like stone. If you do, you’ll find renewed peace and productivity, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.