I hate New Year’s resolutions.
Given that I write a personal development blog, that may sound odd. In my experience, goals forced by a date on the calendar have not worked well. I set too many, in too many areas, and usually flame out by February.
If New Year’s resolutions work for you, fantastic. You have my respect. For me, they feel overwhelming, and my failure to meet them kills my motivation to pursue personal development. This is especially true when it comes to goals based on helping others.
I think that’s why I responded so strongly to this quote from author and Harvard professor Henri Nouwen:
The more I think about the human suffering in our world and my desire to offer a healing response, the more I realize how crucial it is not to allow myself to become paralyzed by feelings of impotence and guilt. More important than ever is to be very faithful to my vocation to do well the few things I am called to do and hold on to the joy and peace they bring me.
henri nouwen
Here are three things I take from this:
It may get me to do something “good” in the short term, but it won’t set me up for long-term positive impact. I’ve started and abandoned many serving efforts based on guilt.
The list of worthy causes and suffering people is endless. It’s easy to get sucked into spreading small bits of my limited time, energy, talents, and money in many places, making little real difference. Being honest about my passions, gifts, and interests, then finding one or two areas of need to focus them on will have far greater impact. Writing this blog and giving to Heifer International are two of my focus areas in this season.
While it’s hopeful not my primary reason for serving, feeling joyful and peaceful is a great perk. Those highs keep me motivated when serving gets tough.
What are you passionate about? What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing? What are some areas of need that intersect with those things? Pick one or two projects and focus your efforts there. You’ll make a greater impact while having more fun, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
As shared in the Dec 21, 2023 Daily Meditation by the Henri Nouwen Society. Text excerpts taken from “You are the Beloved” by Henri J.M. Nouwen © 2017 by The Henri Nouwen Legacy Trust. Published by Convergent Books
I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a…
I can be pretty hard on myself. Growing up, I was convinced I had to…
It never made sense to me. As someone who has had a spiritual bent all…
It’s deflating. My lifelong dream of becoming a published author came true. Over the last…
I was stumped. I sat on my cruise ship balcony and stared at the object…
Bonjour from Paris. I write this while sitting on a park bench, having just finished…
View Comments
Thanks Matt for these words of encouragement for the new year. I too am past the new years resolution stage because of my epic failures so often in striving to stick with it for a year. Just doesn't happen and the resulting guilt and shame do not cause me to seek greater goals. So the admonition to "do a few things" well resonates with me in a very positive way.
May we both have a successful year of positive accomplishments in whatever path we take.
Be Blessed! Dennis
Glad to hear I'm not alone in my struggles, Dennis :) May we both have a successful year indeed. All the best sir!