In my last post, I told the conclusion of my recent real life ghost story. Along with it, I shared something that adventure taught me about finding happiness – choose to embrace it all. In this post, I’ll unpack that idea further.
It makes me think of the parenting approach my wife, Lisa, and I tried to take with our kids. Every season of child raising had its challenges but they each had their joys too. We did our imperfect best to embrace it all, in every season, finding the good and the wonder at each stage. Diapers and sleepless nights were hard but holding a sleeping infant was amazing. The teen years brought worries and challenges galore but it was awesome to have real conversations with our kids and watch them grow into thoughtful young adults.
When they left the house for good (they are 24 and 21 now), we let ourselves be sad for about week and then took a trip to Greece with friends to celebrate becoming empty nesters. In those parenting years, choosing to embrace it all led to happiness not by denying the reality of the difficulties but by finding and focusing on the good and joyful aspects of each step.
Think of the seasons. Each has things you could complain about. The muddy sludge and allergies of spring. The heat and humidity of summer. The impending doom that hangs over autumn. The cold and darkness of winter. But each has amazing things as well. The new life and promise of spring. The sunshine and recreation of summer. The crispness and beauty of autumn. The stillness and snow covered wonder of winter. Which will you choose to focus on?
1. If you struggle to find happiness at work, an obvious though often challenging first step is to consider moving toward a more fulfilling career. In the meantime, try to celebrate that you get to be productive, help provide for yourself and your family, be a positive influence on your co-workers, and hopefully do something meaningful.
2. If you’re having a hard time finding happiness in your relationships, first make sure they are healthy and have proper boundaries. Then choose to embrace the time you have with family and friends, roommates and co-workers. Look for and focus on the good in every person you know. Try to savor the relationships in your life, even when it’s difficult, knowing that they will likely change or end more quickly than you think.
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Spiritual Sidebar (for those of you with a spiritual bent): My belief in and relationship with God definitely helps me “choose to embrace it all.” Here’s a verse from the Bible that relates to this idea:
I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:12-13 (New Living Translation)
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