Developing a Better You

Tag: seasons (Page 1 of 2)

Find Peace & Growth by Embracing Seasons

The smack of cold air made me question my choice.

Living in Phoenix Arizona has made me a wimp when it comes to low temperatures. But since I love to walk in the mornings, I donned multiple layers and headed out into the 32 degree Michigan sunrise (I know 32 degrees Fahrenheit is not that cold—like I said, a wimp).

Strolling through my sister-in-law’s quiet neighborhood was invigorating. The crisp air. The brilliant blue sky. The burnt orange autumn leaves. I leaned into the season and savored its gifts. 

My wife and I were in Michigan to visit our families, including our aging parents. All in their eighties, they are in the winter season of life, which places us in a season of increased care-giving. Watching them navigate the joys and challenges of aging is both heartening and painful.

The chilly temperatures and my elderly loved ones got me thinking about life’s seasons. The blend of good times and hard times is as inevitable as summer and winter, spring and fall. We can’t avoid seasons, but we can choose how we respond to them

Not surprisingly, I’ve often tried to cling to a good season, hoping to make it last. It seldom works. More often than not, I spoil the ending. The petals of the once-beautiful flower whither and fall, while I add water in vain.

In hard times, my default is to rush through as fast as possible. Once the unpleasant season is completed, I do my best to stuff it down and forget the dark days’ bitter wind, missing the opportunity for growth.

I’m trying to learn a better approach:

  1. Embrace each season as it comes, welcoming its presence, knowing it’s necessary for my growth.
  1. Savor the good seasons and cherish the meaningful memories they bring.
  1. Face the hard seasons with grace and open myself to the lessons they teach.
  1. At the appointed time, let each season go with gratitude.

What season of life are you in? Spring? Summer? Autumn? Winter? Embrace it. Savor the good. Learn from the hard. Let them go. If you do, your growth will flourish, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Moving Beyond Simplicity

When it comes to personal growth, Simplicity is beautiful, necessary, and eventually toxic.

I recently read this perspective on Simplicity:

Just as all higher mathematics depends on learning basic arithmetic, and just as all more sophisticated music depends on mastering the basics of tempo, melody, and harmony, the spiritual life depends on learning well the essential lessons of this first season, Simplicity. If these lessons aren’t learned well, practitioners will struggle in later seasons. But if in due time this season doesn’t give way to the next, the spiritual life can grow stagnant and even toxic.

Nearly all of us in this dynamic season of Simplicity tend to share a number of characteristics. We see the world in simple dualist terms: we are the good guys who follow the good authority figures and we have the right answers; they are the bad guys who consciously or unconsciously fight on the wrong side of the cosmic struggle between good and evil. We feel a deep sense of identity and belonging in our in-group…. This simple, dualist faith gives us great confidence.

This confidence, of course, has a danger, as the old Bob Dylan classic “With God on Our Side” makes clear: “You don’t count the dead when God’s on your side.” [1] The same sense of identification with an in-group that generates a warm glow of belonging and motivates sacrificial action for us can sour into intolerance, hatred, and even violence toward them. And the same easy, black-and-white answers that comfort and reassure us now may later seem arrogant, naive, ignorant, and harmful, if we don’t move beyond Simplicity in the fullness of time.

Brian McLaren, Naked Spirituality: A Life with God in 12 Simple Words

I resonate with this idea that the season of Simplicity is important and necessary, but if we don’t move beyond it, it becomes harmful. It’s like refusing to stop using training wheels or not changing shoes when we grow out of them. I see it in people who isolate themselves in echo chambers, only listening to and believing those who agree with them, seeing ideas or information that challenge their established opinions as harmful, wrong, or even evil. 

I understand the appeal. Reevaluating long held beliefs and positions is hard work and requires sometimes painful growth. It’s far easier to entrench ourselves, put our heads down, and assign malign motives to those on the other side of the spiritual / political / social / racial divide. I’ve done that more times than I like to admit. 

While attractive, it’s not a recipe for a healthy, vibrant life or society. If we are serious about personal development, we MUST allow ourselves to be challenged, to reevaluate our deeply held positions (you can read about my spiritual reconstruction journey beginning with this post). It takes effort and intentionality, but the freedom and joy gained is more than worth the price. 

So how about you? Do you need to grow from Simplicity to Complexity? Listen to those who hold different viewpoints. Read other perspectives. Talk with a variety of people. Ask sincere questions and really listen. Consider honestly what you’ve heard. If you do, you’ll feel the vibrancy of growth, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

[1] Bob Dylan, “With God on Our Side,” The Times They Are A-Changin’ (New York: Columbia, 1964).

Brian D. McLaren, Naked Spirituality: A Life with God in 12 Simple Words (New York: HarperOne, 2011), 29, 30.

The Struggle to Grow During “In-between” Times

So much of 2020 has felt like a waiting period. Waiting for coronavirus news. Waiting for restrictions to end. Waiting for the election. Waiting for a COVID vaccine. It’s been hard to feel any sense of progress. I was reminded of a post I wrote in June of 2019 about how to grow in such seasons. I hope you find it helpful on your journey toward Becoming Yourself.

I feel like I’m stuck in a waiting period. An “in-between” time. On the writing front, my first novel is out for submission to editors. I’ve turned in the rough draft of my second book to my agent, along with a concept pitch for my third to get his feedback. On the music side, I’m a few weeks away from my next worship leading gig, and the music isn’t posted yet so there’s nothing to work on. The place where I volunteer serving lunch to people struggling with homelessness recently had a fire which temporarily reduced both their seating capacity and their need for volunteers. So many of the areas where I invest my time and energy are on pause.

I feel a little lost. I like to be moving forward, growing, progressing. With a number of my normal productive outlets on hold, I’m struggling to find my footing. I find solace in knowing that all development cycles follow this pattern. Seasons of intense growth are followed by periods of apparent dormancy. The vibrancy of spring and summer yields to the mellowness of autumn and then to the silence of winter. It’s the rhythm of creation.

So my challenge is not to fight this season but to embrace it. To learn what this time period has to teach me: Patience. Introspection. Trust. Perspective. To allow myself to listen. To heed the call to “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10).

I’m coming to understand that this too can be a period of growth, but the progress will be more subtle, hidden below the surface. It’s a chance to look inside myself. To do a status check on how I’m really doing to a degree that I wouldn’t normally have the time, energy, or motivation to attempt.

In addition to being attentive to those deeper growth opportunities, I’m also trying to use this time to do those projects that usually get pushed aside. You know the type I’m talking about: Filing. Organizing. Deep cleaning. Future planning. Annual reviews. Over the last few days, I’ve updated the paperwork on all of our financial and insurance accounts in our estate folder, making sure that things are in order should I, or both Lisa and I, unexpectedly pass away. Not glamorous or enjoyable but important. It’s the kind of task I’ll be glad is off my mind when my more creative pursuits resume.

So how about you? Are you in a season of waiting? Are you feeling stuck “in-between”? What ways can you find to grow during this season? What are some tasks you can tackle now that you’ll be so glad you accomplished when “spring” comes back around? Take this opportunity to look inside and do some deeper interior work. Reflect. Journal. Read. Pray. Seek wise council from a trusted friend or a professional to help you work through whatever issues arise. Knock a few tasks off of your much procrastinated to-do list. If you do, you’ll not only feel better – you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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