Becoming Yourself

Developing a Better You

Trudging Through a Winter Season

Life is often a struggle. That point was brought home to me this week in conversations with friends—one lost her house in the raging LA fires. Another is planning a hurried wedding for their daughter before her fiancee’s parent passes from an unexpected terminal illness. A third shared how exhausted she is caring for an aging parent who’s refusing to address their health needs.

It reminded me of a post I originally published on March 16, 2024, so I decided to share it again. If you’re in a similar season, I hope this provides a ray of hope and helps you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

I’m so tired. 

My wife Lisa and I are at the tail end of a lengthy book tour. While I’m incredibly grateful for the exciting and rewarding opportunity, it’s been demanding and exhausting. We both got sick with lingering ear and sinus infections as we plowed through a seemingly endless stream of school visits, bookstore events, and flights around the country. In the midst of it all, my elderly mom had a serious health crisis which led to a week in ICU, and she’s facing a long and difficult recovery. 

It’s one of those seasons. No amount of money, planning, or preparation can avoid them. Rain falls on us all from time to time. The only control we have is how we choose to respond to the storm. 

I’m a glass-half-full person. I try to have a positive outlook, to see the cloud’s silver lining. That perspective provides energy and hope to move forward, and helps me avoid wallowing in destructive negativity. 

But it can also lead me to slap a smiley-face bandage on a gunshot wound. I sometimes refuse to acknowledge real pain, subconsciously burying it deep to avoid facing the unanswerable questions suffering brings—why did this happen? What good can come of it? What’s the point of it all?

I’m trying to find my balance in this storm. To allow myself to recognize the biting flies and feel my aching feet as I trudge through this dark valley, while still lifting my eyes to the distant, beautiful mountain I’m heading toward. It’s not an easy task. But with time, rest, prayer, and the support of my inner circle, I’m finding my way.

If you’re in a winter season, acknowledge the frost and stinging cold. The treacherous footing. The difficult climb up the snow covered slope. But remember that however long the night, the sun will rise. Spring is coming. You’ll feel the warm breeze caress your face and breathe the delicate scent of flowers again. You are not alone on the road, and every struggling footfall brings you one step closer to Becoming Yourself.

How to Achieve Your Goals Using Reflection

I don’t like New Year’s Resolutions.

They tend to seem forced, make me feel guilty, and I usually fail at keeping them. That said, I’m dedicated to personal development and to carving out the life I really want. That requires reflection. If I don’t look back on where I’ve been, how will I know if I’m closer to where I want to go? 

The start of a new year lends itself to personal reflection. Here are some significant events that stood out as I ruminated on 2024:

1. My mom passed away after a bad fall that she couldn’t recover from.

2. I published two books, numbers four and five in my spooky middle grade monster mystery series MONSTERIOUS (Penguin Random House).

3. I went on two national book tours, appeared at three book festivals, and hung out with one of my literary heroes, Goosebumps author R L Stine.

4. I had two different book projects rejected, ones that I pitched to my editor as a follow up to MONSTERIOUS.

5. My wife Lisa and I sold three houses, most of our possessions, and transitioned to living nomadically.

6. We traveled to eight countries, taking our nomadic experiment international.

7. I shockingly became a USA Today best-selling author on Christmas Day when my first book hit the list a year and a half after its publication.

Here are some insights I gained from that reflection:

 1. I went through some hard things

The death of my mom, the gut-punch of multiple book rejections, the grind of selling three properties, and the difficult transition to nomadic living took a lot out of me physically and emotionally. I realized I need to rest, be kind to myself, and give myself grace.

 2. I accomplished a lot

In the busyness of daily living, significant accomplishments can quickly get lost. Listing them reminded me of how far I’ve come in my personal and professional life. When those victories arrive, I need to take time to celebrate them, something I’m not good at.

 3. I’m going in the right direction

I came into 2024 wanting to push my writing career forward, find freedom through nomadic living, travel, and spend more time with people I love. I was surprised to realize how much ground I’d gained on those goals this past year. It was a lot of hard work and intentionality, but the results are incredibly gratifying. My life now looks close to what I’d set out to make it. 

As you reflect on the past year, what significant milestones stand out? What do those markers say about your progress  toward your goals? Does your life more closely mirror your preferred vision for it than it did a year ago?

Ask yourself these hard questions. Be brutally honest. Give yourself grace for the hard things you’ve endured. Lavishly celebrate your accomplishments. Take comfort in the progress you’ve made. Course correct as needed. If you do, you’ll have a more meaningful and enjoyable life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

The Shocking Benefits of Not Giving Up on Your Dream

I was in utter shock.

On Christmas day, I got an email from a fellow author friend saying congratulations. I was confused—congratulations for what? Then I read on, seeing the words “USA Today” and a screenshot of my book cover with a number next to it. 

No. That wasn’t possible.

I quickly did an online search for the latest USA Today bestselling books list. There was my book. My book that came out a year and a half ago. Inexplicably, Escape from Grimstone Manor (Monsterious #1) was now a national bestseller.

Most people have heard of the New York Times bestseller list. The USA Today list is of a similar stature (some think it’s less prestigious, some think it’s more). The tough thing about hitting the NYT list is that there are only 10 slots per list per week, but there are multiple lists in a number of very specific categories (ex: one list for the week’s top selling middle grade fiction, another for picture books, another for young adult, various lists for non-fiction, etc.)

The weekly USA Today bestseller list has 150 slots, but it’s a single list for sales of ALL books in the country in all age categories—fiction, non-fiction, cookbooks, celebrity memoirs, self-help, adult, YA, middle grade, picture books, etc. My spooky middle grade book is on the same list as Cher’s memoir and Snoop Dog’s cookbook.

So why am I telling you this? 

A month ago, I wrote a post called “A Dream Derailed” (you can read it here) where I shared how I felt like my writing career had hit the skids. Disappointing book sales. Multiple rejections of proposed next projects. I wrote of how deflated and humbled I felt. But I also said that my dream of a sustained author career was worth fighting for, and I was going to keep struggling forward. 

I had NO idea that a mere four weeks later, I would be a USA Today bestselling author, something I never thought I’d accomplish in my lifetime. (BONUS: If you want to see me blathering incoherently in my shock, check out my Instagram reel here.)

How’s the journey toward your dream going? Are you driving over a teeth-rattling string of potholes? Does the bridge ahead appear washed away? If so, pause. Take a cleansing breath. Acknowledge the pain, the disappointment, the frustration, the exhaustion. Then ask yourself this question—is your dream still worth it? Even if you fail? Will all the blood, sweat, and tears be worthwhile?

As you ponder that question, remember that often the journey is the destination. That it’s less about what you achieve and more about who you become along the way.

Dreams are not for the faint of heart. They aren’t guaranteed. You may never reach your promised land. But dreams make life worth living. Choose a worthy one. Create a plan. Take the first step, then the next. When you fall, get back up and keep moving. If you do, an unexpected breakthrough may be just around the corner as you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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