“What’s your dream?… This is Hollywood, land of dreams. Some come true, some don’t, but keep on dreaming.”
Man on the street at the end of the movie “pretty woman”
Kids are great at dreaming. They haven’t learned yet that there’s a limited demand for princesses (props on beating the odds Meghan Markle) or nonathletic NBA players. Nor have they faced the mockery that people who are disappointed with how their own lives turned out often heap on dreamers in a vain effort to not feel so bad about themselves. So in their blissful ignorance, kids are wonderfully honest and optimistic about their dreams.
But somewhere along the line, most of us stop dreaming. Life smacks us in the face a few times, and we give up. Decide it’s not worth risking our hearts anymore. If we don’t stop, we often allow other people to tell us what our dreams should be or define what achieving them looks like.
Here’s my encouragement for you today – pick one dream you want to accomplish. It can be big or small, old or new. Maybe it’s one you gave up on a long time ago. Whatever it is, choose something that makes your heart beat fast. A dream you have a real passion for. One that would get you out of bed in the morning. Forget what anyone else thinks, and pick your own true heart’s desire. Let’s call this your Big Dream.
Got one? Next, think of a short list of Support Dreams. These are smaller dreams that would mark significant accomplishments on the way to your Big Dream. Then focus your efforts on accomplishing your first Support Dream. Work hard and celebrate like crazy when you’ve achieved it. Whether you ever reach the second one or not. Whether other people think it’s a big deal or not. You accomplished a dream! Even if it’s small, you did it. You made it happen. And if you have the courage and drive to keep going, you’re closer than ever to making your Big Dream a reality.
Here’s an example. Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be a writer. I loved to read, and books had a major impact on me. I dreamed of being able to encourage, inspire, and entertain people with written words. My life took a different path, but I’ve recently returned to that dream I had as a child. I’ve chosen becoming a professional writer as my Big Dream.
I’m not going to lie – it’s daunting. It’s a dream that many have had and few have accomplished. But it’s mine. It’s real. It’s from my heart. So to help me on my way, I’ve come up with a short list of Support Dreams.
Support Dreams
Support Dream #1 – WRITE A BOOK. Not just think about it, talk about it, or fantasize about it, but actually sit down and crank out an entire book. Even if no-one ever reads it. Status– DONE! I finished the rough draft of my first novel in March 2018. My wife Lisa and I went out to my favorite restaurant to celebrate that night and got a surprise when we arrived. The top of the daily menu said, “Congratulations on your book, Matt!” I have it framed in our living room. Whatever happens from here, I accomplished a dream!
Support Dream #2 – GET AN AGENT. Full disclosure, I had a big leg up here. I had some great coaching and connections from my incredible wife Lisa McMann, a NY Times bestselling author. I learned about the industry, wrote a query letter, memorized an elevator pitch, met with an agent, and did some hard editing based on feedback. Status – DONE! I was signed by the amazing Michael Bourret at Dystel, Goderich, and Bourret. If nothing else ever happens on the way to my Big Dream, I accomplished this dream. That’s worth celebrating.
Support Dream #3 – GET A BOOK DEAL. This is a tough one, not only because the odds are against me, but because it’s largely out of my hands. This is mainly about my agent working his contacts with editors at publishing houses trying to get them to make an offer on my book. Status – IN PROCESS. My manuscript has gone out to eleven editors in the first round, and I’ve gotten five rejections so far. We’re waiting to hear back from the others.
Support Dream #4 – WRITE A BETTER BOOK. As work on support dream #3 cranks slowly along, I set myself to the task of taking what I’d learned from the first book and writing a second, better book. Status – DONE! I finished the rough draft this week. It still needs a lot of editing, but I’m proud of my work. Even if no-one else ever read this manuscript, I completed it. I accomplished another dream!
Support Dream #5 – EARN A LIVING WAGE AS A WRITER. Seeing as I don’t even have a first book deal yet, this is obviously a “way out there” support dream. That said, it’s an important step to include on my journey toward my Big Dream of becoming a professional writer. Status – NOT EVEN CLOSE.
I’m not saying this process is easy. I have days when I’m down, and it seems like my Big Dream will never happen. When I feel that way, I turn to my Support Dreams. I soak in the sense of accomplishment I have for the ones I’ve already achieved. Then I focus my efforts on my next Support Dream and let my Big Dream take care of itself. It really helps. Worst case scenario, I’ve written two books and landed a fantastic agent. I feel pretty great about that.
How about you?
So what’s your Big Dream? The one that you can’t get away from? The dream that takes your breath away when you allow yourself to imagine it coming true? What’s keeping you from chasing it now? Sometimes seasons of life make it harder or easier to go after a Big Dream, like how being an empty nester opened up the opportunity for me to pursue writing. But if you’re putting your Big Dream off, ask yourself this – is it really not possible now or are you rationalizing? Be honest with yourself. Is fear holding you back? Are you letting others define you dreams or your vision of success?
Pick a Big Dream. Make a short list of Support Dreams. Work hard at the first one. Watch your energy and passion grow. Even if the process leads you to a different destination than you imagined, remember that having the courage to take the journey is an accomplishment in itself. Celebrate each small success along the way. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.