I had just come off the Great Wall of China and I was freezing. It was an exhilarating experience, walking on a human-made structure over 2,300 years old and 5,500 miles long. A bucket list event for sure. But my friend and I chose to go in January because prices were dirt cheap and the tourist crowds were low. For a reason. It’s really freaking cold in Beijing in January.
So when our quirky and charming guide Pong told us our next stop was a Chinese tea ceremony, I was all for it. I’m a big fan of hot tea and it sounded warm. Our group piled on the bus and headed out.
That ride pushed “tour bus driver in Beijing” near the top of my list of jobs I would never want. It made driving in New York City feel like a Sunday afternoon jaunt through the countryside. But thanks to the nerve and skill of our stoic driver, we eventually arrived at the tea shop.
Once inside, we were seated around a low square table with a tea master. She talked about the various types of tea, their flavor profiles and health properties. But what really stood out was her demonstration of the proper way, according to Chinese tradition, to drink tea. Lifting the small, handle-free cup, she first just wet her lips with the steaming liquid and then paused, her tongue sampling the taste. After a few moments, she took a small sip and swirled it around in her mouth, holding it there, savoring the nuances of flavor before swallowing. After another pause, she drained the rest of the cup in one satisfying gulp.
My friend Ken and me in Tiananmen Square, Beijing
Our tea master explained that this method of drinking tea puts the emphasis on being present in the moment. Of being acutely aware of where you are and what you are doing. Of truly experiencing the now.
What a contrast to how I usually drink tea. For me, it tends to be a mindless, background activity while my attention is on other things. It made me wonder how frequently that mindset describes most of my activities. How often during an average day am I unconsciously reliving the past or worrying about the future and completely missing the experience of the present, the moment, the now?
I was reminded of this idea while reading a tea meditation exercise by Thich Nhat Hanh, a Zen master. It was in a post by Franciscan priest Richard Rohr and I’ve shared Hanh’s words below. I think it beautifully captures this idea of the importance of being present:
You must be completely awake in the present to enjoy the tea.
Only in the awareness of the present, can your hands feel the pleasant warmth of the cup.
Only in the present, can you savor the aroma, taste the sweetness, appreciate the delicacy.
If you are ruminating about the past, or worrying about the future, you will completely miss the experience of enjoying the cup of tea.
You will look down at the cup, and the tea will be gone.
Life is like that.
If you are not fully present, you will look around and it will be gone.
You will have missed the feel, the aroma, the delicacy and beauty of life.
It will seem to be speeding past you. The past is finished.
Learn from it and let it go.
The future is not even here yet. Plan for it, but do not waste your time worrying about it.
Worrying is worthless.
When you stop ruminating about what has already happened, when you stop worrying about what might never happen, then you will be in the present moment.
Then you will begin to experience joy in life. [1]
So the next time you have a cup of tea or coffee, try to remember to pause. Savor the moment. Be present. Let it serve as a reminder to practicing living in the now throughout your day. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
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[1] Thich Nhat Hanh, meditation given at Plum Village in southern France. See Evan Sutter, Solitude: How Doing Nothing Can Change the World (Tenth Street Press: 2015), 147-148. Thich Nhat Hanh provides other practices in Present Moment Wonderful Moment: Mindfulness Verses for Daily Living (Parallax Press: 2002).
In honor of Thanksgiving week, I want to share a simple, quick practice I’ve developed over the years that helps me be happy. It’s a way to put my mind on a positive track vs. dwelling on the inevitable frustrations, difficulties and disappointments that life throws my way. Here it is:
2. ANOTHER DAY – I have a neighbor who says “Every day above ground is a good one.” He has a point. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Be thankful for the gift of another 24 hours and the opportunity for a fresh start.
What would you add to this list? Make it personal and be creative. If you’re chasing happiness, try working these 1 minute wonders into your morning and evening routine. If you do, you’ll take another simple step toward Becoming Yourself.
Throughout my ghost hunting experience, choosing to embrace it all meant focusing on the good and joyful aspects of each step. That doesn’t mean I denied the exertion and the injuries of the search or my disappointment at the commonplace explanation of the light’s source. It means I chose to focus on the child-like wonder during the search phase and the feeling of accomplishment in the unmasking phase.
Some clarification on this point. Obviously, not everything in your life is equally enjoyable or offers the same degree of potential happiness. Right now some of you are going through terrible trials and struggles. In no way do I mean to minimize your pain. What I’m saying is that even the hardest things we face provide an opportunity for something good. During college I learned some horrible news that I knew would affect me deeply for many years. While I was devastated and grieving, I found a spark of hope underneath it all, a quiet excitement that came from knowing that going through this journey could make me a better, stronger person if I let it. That experience was one of the lowest and most difficult seasons of my life but I am so grateful for the things I learned and who I became through it. I did my best to embrace it all.
What does applying this idea look like in your life? Here’s a couple examples:
We all want to be happy. Life is filled with obstacles to fulfilling that desire and we need to find a variety of ways to overcome them. Choosing to embrace it all is just one approach that’s been helpful for me. Look for the good, the beautiful, and the joyful in every season. Choose to embrace it all. If you do, you’ll take another happy step toward Becoming Yourself.