Developing a Better You

Month: October 2021 (Page 2 of 2)

How to Recover from a Broken Dream

It was a crushing conversation.

When the COVID-19 pandemic hit in March of 2020, my wife and I helped our son and his fiancee make the gut wrenching decision to postpone their long-planned wedding just three weeks before the event. They rescheduled it for fall of 2020. Then again for spring of 2021. Then again for October of 2021.

A week ago, they finally held the long-awaited celebration. The atmosphere was joyous, buoyant, jubilant. Not just because it was a wedding. Not even because it was outdoors, Lord of the Rings themed, and at a castle (though all that certainly helped). It was because of the journey they travelled to get there.

As I performed the ceremony, I was overcome with emotion. Not entirely surprising, especially for me, a card-carrying sentimentalist. But in addition to the normal emotions most parents feel at their child’s wedding, I was overflowing with pride for how both my son and daughter-in-law had handled the blow life had dealt them. They faced the hard reality. Grieved well. Remembered those who were hit far worse by this disease. Let it go. Made a new plan. Looked forward in hope.

Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.

Psalm 30:5 (the Bible, nlt version)

Life will inevitably present you with obstacles. You will have heartache. Sometimes your dreams will be postponed, broken, or even shattered. Follow the roadmap my son and daughter-in-law chose. Take the hit. Let yourself grieve. Then get back up. Choose gratitude. Persevere. Carve out a new dream. Dare to try. Dare to risk your heart again. Dare to hope. If you do, you’ll eventually see the sunrise cresting the mountain, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Frustrated and Overwhelmed? Claim the Power of Perspective

You probably heard it as a kid and rolled your eyes.

As you listlessly pushed your broccoli around your plate, one of your parents said, “You should be grateful. A starving child in (fill in the blank country) would be thrilled to eat that.” Your response of “Well, give it to them then,” probably didn’t help your case.

Obviously, what your well-meaning parent was attempting to teach you was perspective. But did the lesson stick?

I recently went through a busy season and found myself getting cranky. I was frustrated by a number of “important” tasks I needed to deal with. None of them were overwhelming alone, but collectively they were weighing me down.

Then my dad called to tell me he needed heart surgery. The procedure was supposedly low risk, but at age eighty with three previous heart surgeries, it was still spooky. I flew to Michigan to be with him and my mom.

During the trip, I learned that someone I knew had just died of COVID-19. He was forty-one. Left in the devastating wake of this tragedy are his wife and two young children.

In the long hours of waiting during the surgery, I reflected on what my dad’s potential death would mean for my mom, my sisters, my aunts, me. I couldn’t fathom it. It would deeply change all of our lives. I thought of the man who had just died and couldn’t even imagine the ongoing destruction that event will have on his family.

Then we heard the news. The surgery went wonderfully. My dad was fine. I hugged my mom, whispered a prayer of thanks and breathed a huge sigh of relief.

On my flight home, it occurred to me that I had completely forgotten about those “important” tasks that had been frustrating me before I left. When compared with my dad’s surgery and the other man’s death, they seemed rightly insignificant. I had regained a truer, healthier perspective.

So when you find yourself feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, pause. Take a deep breath. Think of the things others whom you know, and those you don’t, are dealing with. Send them a positive thought, a prayer, an encouraging note, some money, an offer to help. Be grateful for all the burdens you don’t have to carry. If you do, you’ll find a fresh perspective, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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