Becoming Yourself

Developing a Better You

Month: November 2021

Beat the Holiday Blues with a Five-Minute Thanksgiving Exercise

November 27, 2021 / / 0 Comments

The holiday season is a mixed bag.

Hopefully, you’ll get to enjoy at least some of positives—family, friends, parties, gifts, time off work and travel. But you’ll probably also have to face at least some of the negatives— stress, busyness, disappointment, loneliness, depression and financial pressure.

When you’re feeling the downsides of this sometimes dubiously named “Season of Cheer,” try this quick exercise to lift your mood:

Think of various categories in your life, then for each one, remember something you’re grateful for in the past year. 

This is in no way denying the very real hardships of what was an extremely difficult year for so many. But even if 2021 has been brutal for you, I’ll bet you can find some things to be grateful for. Here are some of my examples from this year:

FAMILY – I’m so grateful I got to officiate my son’s wedding and have an extended visit with my daughter.

FRIENDS – I’m so grateful for the many vaccine-enabled reunions with my friends.

CAREER – I’m so grateful that, after years of trying to break in as a children’s book author, I got my first book deal (a series with Penguin Random House slated to begin summer of 2023).

HEALTH – I’m so grateful that my dad survived his heart surgery.

NECESSITIES – I’m so grateful that I always had more than enough food, clothing and comfortable shelter.

WANTS – I’m so grateful that my wife and I got to renew our love of travel with several cross-country road trips.

So how about you? What are you grateful for in 2021? What categories would you choose? Take a few moments to ponder. Think outside the box. Be specific. Choose gratitude. If you do, you’ll give your mood a boost, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

The Heroic Choice to Slow Down

November 20, 2021 / / 0 Comments

Sometimes life has a way of getting your attention.

In my last post, A Surprising Secret to Increased Joy and Productivity, I wrote about how I was trying to live out a quote by Chris Advansun: “See what happens when you tune your pace to the trickle of a stream or the waft of a lazy breeze.” A high school friend commented that the theme of my post was tied closely to one she’d read recently by writer and life coach Leyla Aylin.

When I read Leyla’s post, I was blown away not just by the similarity of the message, but by the beautiful way she articulated it. So rather than read my words this week, I’m sharing hers (the bolding is my own). I encourage you to check out her blog and website at leylaaylin.com as you continue your journey toward Becoming Yourself.

“I Want to Make Heroes of Those Who Slow Down” by Leyla Aylin

How brave you are for slowing down. For not finishing that to-do list.

How courageous you are for not crossing that finish line, because your body said “enough.”

How fearless you are for choosing the quiet of your soul over those voices driving you always towards more.

How bold, how rebellious – you, out there, honoring your own natural rhythm, going against the culture’s breakneck speed.

We tend to make heroes of those hungry with ambition, relentlessly doing, producing always more.

We applaud those who refuse to stop or rest. Who push themselves so hard in the name of achievement, that they sacrifice their body and soul and heart in the process. We celebrate those who are ill or aging but never show it, never slow down, never reveal a moment of vulnerability.

This drivenness can be heroic, at times. It can be necessary for our survival or the greater good.

But,

I want to make heroes of those who slow down.

I want to make heroes of those who listen to their bodies, who do not strive for more than what the soul truly needs.

I want to make heroes of those who do not force or push, but surrender to each moment as it opens.

I want to applaud those who may not be driven towards success as we know it, but instead are nurturing something deep and subtle and needed.

I want to celebrate those brave enough to cease all doing, even for a second, and sit with the ache in their hearts. A task many find harder than summiting the highest peak.

I want to make heroes of those who honor their limitations.

Who are unable to keep up with the busy-ness of our times, yet show up to each profound, necessary moment.

It is truly an act of courage and rebellion to do any such thing, in a world demanding you resist your own self, your own rhythm, your own soul.

And the paradox is, that often when we cease our incessant doing, even for a minute, and listen to that quiet voice within, we discover what it is we absolutely must do, and what instead can fall away.

We finally hear the call towards what serves our soul, and what then will serve the world. Nothing more, nothing less.

A hero is simply someone brave. So come, be softly brave. Be a new, quieter kind of hero. Few may applaud, it’s true, but your soul certainly will.

By Layla Aylin

Lynn Canyon Park, North Vancouver, Canada

Increase Productivity by Exploring Your Flip Side

November 6, 2021 / / 0 Comments

Going was against my nature.

I’m a creature of habit. I love ritual and routine. I thrive in it. There are many benefits to this trait, like efficiency, productivity and stress reduction. But there are downsides too, like stagnation, missed opportunities and reduced creativity.

One day during a recent trip to Vancouver to visit my daughter and work on my upcoming novels, I woke to a sunny morning, a rarity in rainy October. I had planned, as is my habit, to spend the morning writing. But the sunshine reminded me of a park my daughter, a fellow hiker, suggested I try while in town.

Lynn Canyon Park, North Vancouver, Canada

I was torn. The “stick to the routine and be productive” side of me urged me to stay in and write. The “seize the opportunity” part of me, normally the weaker of the two, urged me to be spontaneous and go explore. Knowing spontaneity is a growth edge for me, I put on my hiking shoes and headed out the door before I could talk myself out of it.

The park was glorious. Lush greenery. Ancient, towering trees. A wide, rushing river. A thundering waterfall. A suspension bridge spanning a gorge. I was entranced as I moved slowly along the trail, soaking in the fairyland environment.

Lynn Canyon Park, North Vancouver, Canada

And then it happened. I saw an unusual stone. Then a strange pattern in the roots of a tree. Then a wide pool at the mouth of a cave. My author mind started firing madly, ideas for a story flowing one after the other. Over the course of the next hour, I took dozens of photos and sent myself fifteen emails of notes. By the end of the hike, I had the rough outline of a new book. I returned to our Airbnb charged with energy to write.

Lynn Canyon Park, North Vancouver, Canada

My routine nature serves me well. I’m glad for it. But that experience in the park reminded me to be open to breaking my routine when opportunities present themselves. I know not every choice to “seize the day” will produce such a flurry of creativity, productivity and energy, but I’m equally certain that I’ll miss many of those gifts if I don’t put myself in a place to receive them.

Lynn Canyon Park, North Vancouver, Canada

So how about you? Are you a creature of habit or do you lean toward the spontaneous side? Is your growth edge developing better structures or being more flexible? Embrace the benefits of your natural bent. Be intentional in developing your “flip side.” If you do, you’ll experience a richer, more engaging and productive life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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