Developing a Better You

Month: March 2024 (Page 1 of 2)

A Fresh Perspective on Easter

It’s Easter.

While for many of us, Easter is a time of bunnies, chocolate eggs, and a celebration of the coming Spring, its roots are firmly in the Christian tradition I was raised in. What follows is an alternative perspective on Jesus by author and teacher Richard Rohr, one I have come to share. Regardless of where you are on the spiritual belief spectrum, I hope this fresh view helps you take another step toward Becoming Yourself. 

In Leviticus 16 we see the brilliant ritualization of what we now call scapegoating, and we should indeed feel sorry for the demonized goat. On the Day of Atonement, a priest laid hands on an “escaping” goat, placing all the sins of the Israelites from the previous year onto the animal. Then the goat was taken out into the wilderness and left there. And the people went home rejoicing, just as European Christians did after burning a supposed heretic at the stake or white Americans did after the lynching of Black men. Whenever the “sinner” is excluded, our ego is delighted and feels relieved and safe—for a while at least. Usually, the illusion only deepens and becomes catatonic, conditioned, and repetitive—because of course, scapegoating did not really work to remove the evil in the first place. (1)

As a Christian, I do believe that Jesus’ death was a historical breakthrough. It is no accident that Christians date history around his life. Afterward, we could never see things in the same way. The seeds of the gospel were forever planted into human history, but some followers of other religions have seemed to “water the seeds” more than many Christians. It seems to me the Christian West was so destabilized by the gospel that it had to go into “overdrive” to hide its shadow and cover its fear and its need to hate others. All this despite the teachings of its designated God! The central message of Jesus on love of enemies, forgiveness, and care for those at the bottom was supposed to make scapegoating virtually impossible and unthinkable.

Many Christians, with utter irony, worshipped Jesus the Scapegoat on Sundays and, on the other six days of the week, made scapegoats of Jews, Muslims, other Christian denominations, heretics, sinners, pagans, the poor, and almost anybody who was not like themselves. One would have thought that Christians who “gazed upon the one they had pierced” (John 19:37) would have gotten the message about how wrong domination, power, and hatred can be. The system has been utterly wrong about their own chosen God figure, yet they continue to trust the system.

Scapegoating depends on a rather sophisticated, but easily learned, ability to compartmentalize, to separate, to divide the world into the pure and the impure. Anthropologically, all religion begin with the creation of the “impure.” Very soon an entire moral system emerges, with taboos, punishments, fears, guilts, and even a priesthood to enforce it. It gives us a sense of order, control, and superiority, which is exactly with the ego wants and the small self demands.

The religious genius of Jesus is that he utterly refuses all debt codes, purity codes, and the searching for sinners. He refuses to divide the world into the pure and the impure, much to the chagrin of almost everybody—then and now. (2)

As shared in the March 26, 2024 Daily Meditation from the Center for Action and Contemplation (cac.org). [1] Adapted from Richard Rohr, Essential Teachings on Love, selected by Joelle Chase and Judy Traeger (Maryknoll, NY: Orbis Books, 2018), 128. [2] Adapted from Richard Rohr, The Wisdom Pattern: Order, Disorder, Reorder(Cincinnati, OH: Franciscan Media, 2001, 2020), 167–169. 

Being is More Important Than Doing

Sometimes simple words are best.

I recently read a reflection on a deep truth—being is more important than doing. 

It’s a familiar concept, but as I’d just come off a busy season of travel and writing deadlines, the reminder hit home. I felt my breath deepen and my shoulders relax. Yes. Doing is good. Being is better.

Here are those simple words from the pen of the late author and Harvard professor Henri Nouwen:

I suspect that we too often have lost contact with the source of our own existence and have become strangers in our own house. We tend to run around trying to solve the problems of our world while anxiously avoiding confrontation with that reality wherein our problems find their deepest roots: our own selves. In many ways we are like the busy executive who walks up to a precious flower and says: “What for God’s sake are you doing here? Can’t you get busy somehow?” and then finds the flower’s response incomprehensible: “I am sorry, but I am just here to be beautiful.

How can we also come to this wisdom of the flower that being is more important than doing? How can we come to a creative contact with the grounding of our own life?

henri nouwen

Take time to pause. Breath deep. Be still. Do nothing. Reconnect with the source of your identity, be that God, the universe, or whatever forms the core of your being. If you do, you’ll take another relaxed step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published Aug 13, 2022. Text excerpts taken from “You are the Beloved” by Henri J.M. Nouwen, © 2017 by The Henri Nouwen Legacy Trust. Published by Convergent Books.  Shared in the August 6, 2022 Daily Meditation from the Henri Nouwen Society.

A Surprising Secret to Increased Joy and Productivity

“See what happens when you tune your pace to the trickle of a stream, or the waft of a lazy breeze.”

chris advansun

This one is tricky for me.

I’m a list person. Few things give me more satisfaction than crossing things off my to-do list. I have a hard time relaxing when there are daily tasks left undone. So I often unconsciously drive myself through each one, trying to grind it out, mark it off and move quickly to the next.

That’s not a fun way to live. It can be productive, for awhile. But that approach often leaves me tense, exhausted and short-tempered. And when I finally do reach that free time at the end of the day, I’m often wired and irritable.

When I first read the above quote, my honest thought was, “That sounds nice, but you won’t get much done that way.”

I think I was wrong.

I’ve been experimenting with this approach. Moving more unhurriedly. Pausing more frequently to gaze out the window, chat with my wife or make an extra cup of tea. In short, taking my time.

It will come as no surprise to learn that I find those days far more relaxing and enjoyable than my striving ones. But I’ve also discovered that I get an amazing amount done. At the end of the day, I look back in astonishment at my productivity, especially because I often feel good versus feeling like a wrung-out sponge. It seems so counterintuitive.

This approach reminds me of my Uncle Fred. He’s a soft-spoken southern gentleman, kindhearted and full of simple wisdom. He talks seldom, but when he does, everyone listens because he only speaks when there’s something worthwhile to say.

My dad used to work construction with Uncle Fred. He told me that Fred was the most deceptively fast worker he ever saw. Whenever he’d see Fred on the construction site, my uncle was never in a hurry, always moving through the job with a casual grace. But at the end of the day, he’d done more work than anyone.

I could conjecture about why this approach to life works. How a gentler pace helps you think more clearly, lessons stress, increases motivation, and aids in connecting with others and with God or your Higher Power, if you have one. But the point is that it works, at least for me.

So I’m trying to make this my new normal. It’s not easy to recode fifty plus years worth of programming, but I’m making slow progress. And the rewards are motivating me to keep going.

How about you? Is your approach to your daily tasks more like a trickling stream or a raging river? Closer to a lazy breeze or a hurricane? Pause often. Take a few deep breaths. Gaze out the window. Play calming music. Imagine a stream or a breeze. You’ll find a more enjoyable and productive life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published Nov 13, 2021.

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