The following excerpt from the writings of Henri Nouwen is a great example. It stands out to me because it addresses my struggle to balance serving others with enjoying life, a topic I wrote about here.
Nouwen’s perspective gave me peace and clarity regarding that struggle. He approaches it with a spiritual bent, but the concept applies regardless of your place on the belief spectrum. I hope you find it helpful as you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
The more I think about the human suffering in our world and my desire to offer a healing response, the more I realize how crucial it is not to allow myself to become paralyzed by feelings of impotence and guilt. More important than ever is to be very faithful to my vocation to do well the few things I am called to do and hold on to the joy and peace they bring me. I must resist the temptation to let the forces of darkness pull me into despair and make me one more of their many victims. I have to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus and on those who followed him and trust that I will know how to live out my mission to be a sign of hope in this world.
I grew up with the belief that there was only one path to Truth and rightness with God—Christianity. I left that notion behind many years ago. While Christianity in its purest form (not the politicized and judgmental version often on display today) has much to offer a Truth seeker, so do many other worldviews.
One of the perspectives that I’m relatively ignorant of is the Sikh religion. I was fascinated to read a short overview of that faith in a recent Daily Meditation from the Center for Action and Contemplation. Sikhism has a compelling origin story with tenants that align with the Wisdom Tradition that forms the foundation of the great faiths of the world—there is a Divine power in the universe. A spark of the Divine is within each of us. Developing our connection with the Divine is a worthwhile endeavor. Our separateness from the Divine, each other, and creation is an illusion as we are all a part of the whole.
If you’re interested in a compelling example of a winsome worldview that is probably closer to your own than you realize, read on. If you do, you’ll broaden your mind as you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
In an interview for the Daily Meditations, Sikh activist Valarie Kaur tells a brief story of Guru Nanak (1469–1539), founder of the Sikh faith:
The story goes that every morning a man named Nanak sat by a river and meditated on the world and took the pain of the world into his heart until it crescendoed inside of him. One morning he did not return from the river. People thought him a dead man, a drowned man. The sun rose and the sun fell. The sun rose and the sun fell. And on the third day, a figure was spotted, seated in a cemetery covered in ash. It was Nanak, but not Nanak. He had been rebirthed in those waters and his first utterance was “Nako Hindu. Nako Musliman.” There is no Hindu. There is no Muslim. This was more than treat your neighbor as you would yourself. This was more than taking in the stranger. This was: There is no stranger. There is no you-against-me at all. We constitute each other. [1]
Kaur describes how his followers transformed their culture:
[Nanak] began to sing powerful mystical poetry, accompanied by a Muslim bard. For twenty-four years, Guru Nanak traveled in each of the cardinal directions on foot…. Everywhere he went, his songs held a vision that landed in people’s hearts: We can all taste the truth of Oneness, and when we do, we are inspired to care for one another, and fight for one another. Perhaps what was most powerful about Guru Nanak is how he distilled the mystical heart of all the world’s wisdom traditions into its essence: love.
Guru Nanak’s followers were called Sikhs, seekers or students…. Sikhs believed that people of all castes, genders, faiths, races, and places were equal…. It was a radical experiment that rebelled against the caste hierarchy and feudal order of the era, a mysticism that inspired revolutionary social change…. The ideal archetype in the Sikh tradition became the sant sipahi: the sage warrior. [2]
Kaur’s grandfather’s example shaped the trajectory of her work:
My grandfather was the first sage warrior I knew…. Papa Ji tied his turban every day, clasped his hands behind his back, and surveyed the world through the eyes of wonder. When he listened to kirtan, sacred music, he closed his eyes and let the music resound wondrously within him; he wrote poetry in his garden….
As I fell asleep each night, Papa Ji would sing the Mool Mantr, the foundational verse that opens the Guru Granth Sahib, our sacred canon of musical wisdom. It begins with the utterance “Ik Onkar,” which means Oneness, ever-unfolding. “All of Sikh wisdom flows from here,” Papa Ji would say. All of us are part of the One. Separateness is an illusion: There is no essential separateness between you and me, you and other people, you and other species, or you and the trees. You can look at anyone or anything and say: You are a part of me I do not yet know. [3]
As featured in the Jan 16, 2025 Daily Meditation from the Center for Action and Contemplation (cac.org). [1] Adapted from Valarie Kaur, “Becoming a Sage Warrior,” Daily Meditations, October 28, 2024, Center for Action and Contemplation, video, 38:13. [2] Valarie Kaur, Sage Warrior: Wake to Oneness, Practice Pleasure, Choose Courage, Become Victory (One World, 2024), xix, xx. [3] Kaur, Sage Warrior, xxi–xxii.
Life is often a struggle. That point was brought home to me this week in conversations with friends—one lost her house in the raging LA fires. Another is planning a hurried wedding for their daughter before her fiancee’s parent passes from an unexpected terminal illness. A third shared how exhausted she is caring for an aging parent who’s refusing to address their health needs.
It reminded me of a post I originally published on March 16, 2024, so I decided to share it again. If you’re in a similar season, I hope this provides a ray of hope and helps you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
I’m so tired.
My wife Lisa and I are at the tail end of a lengthy book tour. While I’m incredibly grateful for the exciting and rewarding opportunity, it’s been demanding and exhausting. We both got sick with lingering ear and sinus infections as we plowed through a seemingly endless stream of school visits, bookstore events, and flights around the country. In the midst of it all, my elderly mom had a serious health crisis which led to a week in ICU, and she’s facing a long and difficult recovery.
It’s one of those seasons. No amount of money, planning, or preparation can avoid them. Rain falls on us all from time to time. The only control we have is how we choose to respond to the storm.
I’m a glass-half-full person. I try to have a positive outlook, to see the cloud’s silver lining. That perspective provides energy and hope to move forward, and helps me avoid wallowing in destructive negativity.
But it can also lead me to slap a smiley-face bandage on a gunshot wound. I sometimes refuse to acknowledge real pain, subconsciously burying it deep to avoid facing the unanswerable questions suffering brings—why did this happen? What good can come of it? What’s the point of it all?
I’m trying to find my balance in this storm. To allow myself to recognize the biting flies and feel my aching feet as I trudge through this dark valley, while still lifting my eyes to the distant, beautiful mountain I’m heading toward. It’s not an easy task. But with time, rest, prayer, and the support of my inner circle, I’m finding my way.
If you’re in a winter season, acknowledge the frost and stinging cold. The treacherous footing. The difficult climb up the snow covered slope. But remember that however long the night, the sun will rise. Spring is coming. You’ll feel the warm breeze caress your face and breathe the delicate scent of flowers again. You are not alone on the road, and every struggling footfall brings you one step closer to Becoming Yourself.
