Becoming Yourself

Developing a Better You

Month: August 2025 (Page 1 of 2)

Recover from Hard Times with the 3 Hs

August 30, 2025 / / 0 Comments

I struggle to have life lessons stick.

Whenever I have a personal development insight, either taken from someone else’s wisdom or born of my own inner wrangling, I try to make it simple. Easy to remember. Sticky.

During a recent hard time, I came up with the 3 Hs. They are in no way new or novel. Many others have shared the same insights in different ways. This is just my own pneumonic attempt to remember these lessons and benefit from them in the future:

HEALING

I need healing for the wounds in my PAST. Acknowledge what happened. Embrace the pain. Have hard conversations. Forgive myself and others. Share the hurts with appropriate people. Learn from the scars. Let things go.

HELP

I need help with the issues in my PRESENT. These can be things like heath. A place to stay. Guidance. Money. Meaningful work. Managing important relationships. Do for myself what I can. Admit what I can’t. Seek help from family, friends, therapists, professionals, and agencies.

HOPE

I need hope for my FUTURE. Choosing a positive perspective. Believing something good is coming. Finding motivation to engage with life. Having someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to.

I’ve found these 3 Hs in myself, others, and God. I’ve done a lot of inner work “peeling my own onion.” I’ve opened up to family and close friends, asking for advice and help. I’ve been to therapy. I’ve prayed, trusted, and leaned on God. I regularly engage in physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual personal growth exercises. I am far from perfect and still struggle, but focusing on the 3 Hs has really helped me recover from hard times.

Where do you find the Healing, Help, and Hope? In yourself, in others, in your Higher Power? Try all three. Be honest. Do your inner work. Share appropriately. Be vulnerable. Ask for what your need. Be open to receive it. If you do, you’ll be on your way to recovery, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself. 

INTERESTED IN MY NOMADIC LIFESTYLE NEWSLETTER? CLICK HERE.

INTERESTED IN MY TRADITIONALLY PUBLISHED BOOKS? CLICK HERE.

This post was originally published May 25, 2024.

Being is More Important Than Doing

August 16, 2025 / / 0 Comments

Sometimes simple words are best.

I recently read a reflection on a deep truth—being is more important than doing. 

It’s a familiar concept, but as I’d just come off a busy season of travel and writing deadlines, the reminder hit home. I felt my breath deepen and my shoulders relax. Yes. Doing is good. Being is better.

Here are those simple words from the pen of the late author and Harvard professor Henri Nouwen:

I suspect that we too often have lost contact with the source of our own existence and have become strangers in our own house. We tend to run around trying to solve the problems of our world while anxiously avoiding confrontation with that reality wherein our problems find their deepest roots: our own selves. In many ways we are like the busy executive who walks up to a precious flower and says: “What for God’s sake are you doing here? Can’t you get busy somehow?” and then finds the flower’s response incomprehensible: “I am sorry, but I am just here to be beautiful.

How can we also come to this wisdom of the flower that being is more important than doing? How can we come to a creative contact with the grounding of our own life?

henri nouwen

Take time to pause. Breath deep. Be still. Do nothing. Reconnect with the source of your identity, be that God, the universe, or whatever forms the core of your being. If you do, you’ll take another relaxed step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published Aug 13, 2022. Text excerpts taken from “You are the Beloved” by Henri J.M. Nouwen, © 2017 by The Henri Nouwen Legacy Trust. Published by Convergent Books.  Shared in the August 6, 2022 Daily Meditation from the Henri Nouwen Society.

My Top 5 Insights After 300 Personal Development Posts

August 9, 2025 / / 0 Comments

You don’t know what you don’t know.

When I nervously wrote my first blog post back in 2017, I had no idea that I’d still be going eight years and three hundred posts later. That’s probably a good thing. The pressure would have stopped me in my tracks.

When I think back to all the life lessons I’ve learned and written about, a handful of recurring insights rise to the top. Here’s what I’d consider to be the top keys for a healthy, meaningful, and enjoyable life:

1. Identity is Indispensable

Answering the age-old question “Who am I?” sets the foundation for everything else. I’ve realized that basing my identity on anything temporal is shaky ground. If I use my career, my abilities, a relationship, or my season of life, what happens when I’m laid off or retire, my skills fade with age or lack of use, a relationship ends, or my kids move away? Who am I then? For me, I’ve found my deepest, unshakeable identity as someone who belongs to God. Whatever you choose for you identity’s foundation, make it something worthy of the wonderful person you are. 

2. Purpose is Paramount

Find a worthwhile pursuit that you enjoy to focus your energy on. It could be a career, helping others, a hobby, learning a new skill, travel, volunteering, etc. Life is far more meaningful and enjoyable when you have something that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning.

3. Individuality is Immeasurable

The older I get, the more I realize the importance of pursuing my own path in life. I am NOT a norm-breaking pioneer by nature, but choosing to be a professional musician, then a published author, and now someone who lives nomadically were each non-traditional paths. Not surprisingly, they’ve been among the most rewarding aspects of my life, and I wouldn’t change them for anything. Set aside your worries about what others may think and go with whatever path truly brings you life.

4. Hope is Highest

Hope is the fuel on which the engine of my life runs. Without it, everything grinds to a halt. As author John Eldredge says, there are three kinds of hopes—casual hopes (ex: “I hope we have cheesecake tonight”), precious hopes (ex: “I hope I survive the layoffs at work”), and ultimate hopes (ex: “I hope I really matter”). All are important for a rewarding and energized life, but ultimate hopes have that name for a reason. I’ve pinned my ultimate hopes to God. Whatever you choose for the fulfillment of your ultimate hopes, make it something reliable and sustainable that gives your life momentum. (I wrote more about this idea here).

5. Peace is Pinnacle

Seasons and circumstances will inevitably change; the trick is to learn to maintain inner peace through them all. Ironically, some of my greatest inner turmoil has been during times of outward tranquillity, while some of my deepest calm has been in times of chaos. Meditation, scheduled rest, exercise, time in nature, prayer, connection with loved ones, and routine all help me find my internal balance regardless of season. 

Which of these lessons resonate with you? Which ones come more naturally and which are a struggle? Claim your identity. Pursue your purpose. Embrace your individuality. Harbor your hope. Prioritize your peace. If you do, you’ll be a balm to a wounded world, and you’ll take a giant step toward Becoming Yourself. 

Interested in my nomadic travel newsletter? CLICK HERE

Interested in my traditionally published books? CLICK HERE

« Older posts

Never Miss a Post – Subscribe Here!

© 2026 Becoming Yourself

Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑