I sat on my cruise ship balcony and stared at the object floating on the Mediterranean in the distance. It was white and oddly shaped. Too small for a boat. Too far from shore for a buoy. The wrong shape for an animal. Too large for trash.
I pondered awhile, mystified.
Then as our ship pulled further away, I saw the object from a different angle. It was, quite clearly, a small boat. I’d previously been staring directly at the bow and utterly confused. Now seeing it from the side, its identity was obvious.
How often have I had that exact experience with other events in my life? Something unexpected happens, and I’m utterly perplexed. Frustrated. Confused. What is this? Why is it happening? Why did I fail at my job? What does this diagnosis mean? Why did she leave?
And then time passes. I look back on an experience with a new perspective and suddenly the reason is clear. Why it occurred. How my own actions contributed to it. What it did for me. How it helped me grow. I don’t understand everything, but much of what was once a haze often comes into sharp relief.
When you face a frustratingly mysterious event in your life, pause. Take a calming breath. Try to look at it objectively, without judgement. Shift your gaze to different perspectives. Give it time. If you do, the answers you seek may become clear, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
I write this while sitting on a park bench, having just finished a ham and cheese baguette with hot chocolate. The Louvre art museum with its hoards of Saturday visitors are in the distance. I wandered the grounds earlier, but I had no desire to fight the crowds for a return trip inside.
The autumn afternoon is cool and gray, a welcome change from a summer spent baking in the Phoenix sunshine. A young man in a leather jacket sits on a bench to my left, reading a book. Further on, a girl rests her head on her father’s shoulder. Aside from the cawing of crows, the park is quiet, and I’m alone with my thoughts.
Me in the park as I write this post
My wife and I are intentional nomads, having no permanent address, living in different places for varying lengths of time. In the four months since our nomadic journey began, we’ve stayed in hotels, AirBnbs, with my dad, her sister, our daughter, and friends, including several pet sitting gigs.
Not always knowing where you’re going to lay your head is an odd feeling, but one we’re acclimating to. While we plan in advance, we’re trying not to lock ourselves in too much and lose the spontaneity this lifestyle affords.
Being natural planners, spontaneity is a challenge. As we sat eating our breakfast crepes this morning, Lisa remarked on how our walk to the cafe had been closer to a march than a stroll, more like a mission to be accomplished than a saunter to be savored.
I’m taking her observation to heart during my afternoon alone in Paris. I’ve been wandering in a general direction, then veering toward whatever catches my eye. So far it’s led me to walk along the Seine River, peruse art and magazines for sale on sidewalk carts, and to this lovely park. I grabbed lunch when I was hungry at a nearby food stand without dithering or checking its Yelp reviews.
The writing of this post is itself an act of spontaneity. I had no plans to do so, but finding myself in this beautiful, quiet place led me to take out my phone and start typing. Is it helpful? Is it interesting or worthwhile to anyone else? I can’t answer that. All I know is that it felt right. I followed the urge to write, and this is what came out.
So what’s my point in this missive? I’m not sure I have one. Maybe my example of spontaneity encourages you to be more spontaneous. Maybe my wife and I making the leap to live our nomadic dream gives you motivation to make a leap yourself. Maybe my reflections in a Parisian park inspire you to take time for your quiet pondering (you never know what may bubble up).
Whomever you are, whatever obstacles you face, wherever you’re at on your journey, be a little spontaneous. Take a leap toward living a dream. Do some quiet reflecting. If you do, you’ll find new color and a fresh breeze enter your life as you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.
William Faulkner
I was afraid.
While I loved travel, hated home maintenance, and had the freedom as a writer to live anywhere, I was intimidated by the idea of becoming a digital nomad(someone without a primary residence who lives and works in short-term rentalsin various locations).
My wife and I had dreamed about becoming nomads for years. We’d reached the point where the only thing holding us back was my fear—fear of the unknown, of the unusual, of losing some creature comforts, of releasing our physical possessions.
Then about eight months ago, we listened to a podcast featuring Bill Perkins, the author of Die With Zero: Getting All You Can from Your Money and Your Life, who argued that when you lived your dreams was as important as what your dreams were. His reasons included:
1. Tomorrow is not guaranteed
How many people wait until retirement to pursue their dreams only for illness or tragedy to prevent those dreams from coming true?
2. Some dreams are better when experienced younger
Bill gave the example of traveling to Japan with his aged parents. While he and his wife had the energy to soak up a wide range of adventures, his parents’ lack of stamina limited their experience. Some dreams may not be physically possible past a certain point (ie a week-long rock climbing trip is typically more feasible when you’re in your 30s vs your 70s).
3. Living dreams sooner pays long-term dividends
Having more years to savor happy memories increases the overall benefit those experiences provide.
His points struck home. They gave Lisa and I the courage and motivation to make the leap. We sold both rental houses, the condo we lived in, and most of our possessions. For the past four months we’ve stayed in hotels, AirBnbs, and with friends and family in various parts of the US (doing a surprising amount of pet and house sitting—if you need those services, we come highly recommended!). While there have been challenges and frustrations, we love the freedom, lightness, adventure, and low cost of living that our nomadic life provides.
We’re currently living internationally. After a stop in Paris, we’re now in Athens and leave tomorrow for a twenty-four night cruise throughout Europe, hitting twelve cities in seven countries before docking in Miami. A trip like this would not have been possible if we hadn’t faced our fears and stopped delaying our dream.
What are your dreams? For your career, your relationships, your hobbies, your passions? What practical steps would it take to make them a reality? What’s stopping you from taking those steps now? Dream big. Create a “make-it-happen” list. Start on #1 today. If you do, you’ll be on your way to living your dream, and you’ll take another giant step toward Becoming Yourself.
