Developing a Better You

Author: Matt McMann (Page 11 of 94)

Matt McMann writes books for children and the personal development blog Becoming Yourself (becomingyourself.net).

Lousy at Meditating? Try Walking Meditation

Life is hard right now. My mom’s serious medical issue that I mentioned in a post a few weeks ago has become critical, demanding much of my time and energy. That’s why I’ve been reposting content I’ve shared previously for the past few weeks. Spending extended time helping my parents navigate this difficult season has knocked my prayer and meditation routine off the rails. When I do find / make time for these practices, I struggle to focus. One thing that’s helped is walking meditation. Here’s a post I wrote about it previously. I hope it helps you on your journey toward Becoming Yourself.

I struggle with meditation.

If you’ve been focused on personal development for any length of time, you’ve probably heard about the benefits of meditation—stress relief, calming anxiety, generating ideas, lowering blood pressure, etc. The good news is, that’s all true. The bad news is that you have to actually do it, with some degree of “success,” to realize those benefits.

I’ve practiced mediation regularly in some form or another for years. There have been seasons where I really focused on it and others where it took a backseat in my personal development routine. These days I meditate / practice listening prayer ten minutes a day using the Calm app as my timer. The selection of soothing nature sounds helps me focus, but even with the app, I often struggle. I have an active mind, and my thoughts tend to zip around like hummingbirds.

Of the many meditation methods I’ve tried, the one I’ve had the most success with is walking meditation. It’s as simple as it sounds. Go for a stroll, preferably in a calm area, with no particular destination or agenda. Walk casually. There’s no hurry. Let your mind wander. Notice what’s around you. The sunlight filtering through the leaves of a nearby tree. The caress of the breeze. The scent of pine. The music of the birds. The pop of color from the flowers along the sidewalk. Interesting bits of architecture.

Ponder the things you observe. Sit at that random bench in the shade for a few minutes. Move on when it feels right. Let your fingers graze the bark of a tree. Pluck a leaf and rub it gently between your fingers as you walk, feeling your connection to the natural world around you. This isn’t a time to talk on the phone or listen to a podcast. Soothing instrumental music can help, but I usually prefer the soundtrack of my environment.

I practiced walking meditation recently on the lovely campus of a nearby university. I strolled for an hour in silence. Watched robed graduates taking celebratory photos in front of a fountain. Bent to retrieve a fallen pine cone and rolled the rough texture against my palm. Admired the majestic old buildings. Sat in a secluded courtyard beneath a flowering tree. It was lovely and healing. I returned home feeling calm, rejuvenated, and refreshed.

So how about you? Have you ever tried meditating? Was it easy or difficult? Regardless of your past experience, give walking mediation a try. Find a park or a path or a secluded spot. Try your neighborhood. Take an unhurried stroll. Notice the sights, sounds, and smells around you. Let go of any sense of task or agenda. Just be. If you do, you’ll begin to experience the benefits of meditation, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

The 4 D’s: A Sustainable Response to Suffering

Spoiler alert—the needs of the world are endless.

Poverty. Disease. Human trafficking. Food shortage. Climate change. Homelessness. Income inequality. Racism. Cancer. War. Political division. The list goes on.

For anyone who cares about the well-being of others, this deluge of suffering can be overwhelming. It certainly is for me at times. The problems of the world seem like a vast mountain peak, and in its looming shadow, I feel incredibly small.

In the past, I’ve fallen into three responses to the world’s pain:

1. DENY – I look away. Pretend the problems aren’t there. Focus on my own needs and desires. Cling to my distractions. Operate out of selfishness.

2. DESPAIR – Help a little here. Give a little there. Half-heartedly attempt a few good deeds without any plan or purpose because deep down it all feels hopeless. Operate out of guilt.

3. DESTROY – Become consumed with serving others. Act like it all depends on me. Drive myself to exhaustion. Operate out of duty.

None of these responses proved healthy or effective long term. But is there a better way? I think some keys can be found in this quote by the late Henri Nouwen, a highly regarded author, lecturer, and Harvard professor who left his enviable position to work with mentally challenged adults:

The more I think about the human suffering in our world and my desire to offer a healing response, the more I realize how crucial it is not to allow myself to become paralyzed by feelings of impotence and guilt. More important than ever is to be very faithful to my vocation to do well the few things I am called to do and hold on to the joy and peace they bring me.

henri nouwen

The healthy response to suffering that Henri describes is:

4. DEVOTION – Acknowledge the world’s pain without being consumed by it. Find one or two areas of suffering that resonate with your heart. Use your gifts to address them well. Let other areas go. Embrace the joy and peace you find along the way. Operate out of love.

We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that. This enables us to do something, and to do it very well.

Kenneth Untener in honor of Bishop Oscar Romero

Finding and maintaining a healthy response to suffering isn’t easy, but it is possible. Find where your passions meet the world’s needs. Use your gifts to meet them in sustainable ways. Rest. Let go. Trust that others will shoulder the burdens you were never meant to carry. Be joyful. Remember that you are loved. Love yourself. Operate out of that love. If you do, you’ll do your small part to ease the sufferings of the world, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Text excerpts taken from “You are the Beloved” by Henri J.M. Nouwen, © 2017 by The Henri Nouwen Legacy Trust. Published by Convergent Books. As shown in the Dec 21, 2022 daily meditation from The Henri Nouwen Society.

Prayer written by Kenneth Untener (bishop of Saginaw, Michigan, 1980–2004) in 1979 to honor Bishop Romero. See Scott Wright, Oscar Romero and the Communion of Saints: A Biography (Maryknoll, NY: Orbis Books, 2009), 153–154.

This post was originally published Jan 7, 2023.

A Fresh Perspective on Easter

It’s Easter.

While for many of us, Easter is a time of bunnies, chocolate eggs, and a celebration of the coming Spring, its roots are firmly in the Christian tradition I was raised in. What follows is an alternative perspective on Jesus by author and teacher Richard Rohr, one I have come to share. Regardless of where you are on the spiritual belief spectrum, I hope this fresh view helps you take another step toward Becoming Yourself. 

In Leviticus 16 we see the brilliant ritualization of what we now call scapegoating, and we should indeed feel sorry for the demonized goat. On the Day of Atonement, a priest laid hands on an “escaping” goat, placing all the sins of the Israelites from the previous year onto the animal. Then the goat was taken out into the wilderness and left there. And the people went home rejoicing, just as European Christians did after burning a supposed heretic at the stake or white Americans did after the lynching of Black men. Whenever the “sinner” is excluded, our ego is delighted and feels relieved and safe—for a while at least. Usually, the illusion only deepens and becomes catatonic, conditioned, and repetitive—because of course, scapegoating did not really work to remove the evil in the first place. (1)

As a Christian, I do believe that Jesus’ death was a historical breakthrough. It is no accident that Christians date history around his life. Afterward, we could never see things in the same way. The seeds of the gospel were forever planted into human history, but some followers of other religions have seemed to “water the seeds” more than many Christians. It seems to me the Christian West was so destabilized by the gospel that it had to go into “overdrive” to hide its shadow and cover its fear and its need to hate others. All this despite the teachings of its designated God! The central message of Jesus on love of enemies, forgiveness, and care for those at the bottom was supposed to make scapegoating virtually impossible and unthinkable.

Many Christians, with utter irony, worshipped Jesus the Scapegoat on Sundays and, on the other six days of the week, made scapegoats of Jews, Muslims, other Christian denominations, heretics, sinners, pagans, the poor, and almost anybody who was not like themselves. One would have thought that Christians who “gazed upon the one they had pierced” (John 19:37) would have gotten the message about how wrong domination, power, and hatred can be. The system has been utterly wrong about their own chosen God figure, yet they continue to trust the system.

Scapegoating depends on a rather sophisticated, but easily learned, ability to compartmentalize, to separate, to divide the world into the pure and the impure. Anthropologically, all religion begin with the creation of the “impure.” Very soon an entire moral system emerges, with taboos, punishments, fears, guilts, and even a priesthood to enforce it. It gives us a sense of order, control, and superiority, which is exactly with the ego wants and the small self demands.

The religious genius of Jesus is that he utterly refuses all debt codes, purity codes, and the searching for sinners. He refuses to divide the world into the pure and the impure, much to the chagrin of almost everybody—then and now. (2)

As shared in the March 26, 2024 Daily Meditation from the Center for Action and Contemplation (cac.org). [1] Adapted from Richard Rohr, Essential Teachings on Love, selected by Joelle Chase and Judy Traeger (Maryknoll, NY: Orbis Books, 2018), 128. [2] Adapted from Richard Rohr, The Wisdom Pattern: Order, Disorder, Reorder(Cincinnati, OH: Franciscan Media, 2001, 2020), 167–169. 
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