As I munched the delicious Purely Elizabeth chocolate and sea salt granola my daughter had recommended, I glanced at the back of the package to read the ingredients. To my surprise, I found simple but insightful wisdom on living a quality life:
1. YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT
“Focus on plant-based, nutrient-rich food. Limit inflammatory foods.”
I am not a nutrition aficionado, but even to my limited knowledge, this sounds like sage advice. And when the person promoting this way of life provides delicious snack food that fits the bill, who am I to argue?
2. FOLLOW THE 80 / 20 RULE
“80% of the time, be your healthiest self. 20% of the time, indulge—guilt-free.”
One of my core life principles is balance in all things, so this sentiment resonates with me. It’s in line with one of the tenants of intermittent fasting that my wife and I follow—delay, don’t deny.
3. GOOD HEALTH IS MORE THAN DIET
“Exercise, stress-management and relationships are equally important.”
Yes, yes and yes. My daily exercise routine, meditation and prayer time, and regularly scheduled time with friends are essential to my whole-life health.
4. LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE
“Live with intention, innovate, evolve, grow and be grateful.”
What a great definition of personal development. Change is a constant. Healthy things grow. Choosing gratitude daily can literally revolutionize your quality of life.
Which of these bits of wisdom stands out to you? Choose one to work on today. Keep your efforts simple and manageable. Let the rewards you experience from one change motivate you to incorporate the next. If you do, you’ll enjoy a more satisfying life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
We live in a divided world—religion, politics, economics, and socials issues are all highly divisive topics. At times I despair of this national and global wound ever healing.
That’s why I was so struck by the perspective in the following words. While providing no easy answers, they gave me a path forward, a small role I can play in healing the breach, and in the process, perhaps healing myself. I share this in hopes it helps you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
Sikh activist Valarie Kaur has made a commitment to listen to those with whom she disagrees. Here she describes some of the practices that make it possible:
Deep listening is an act of surrender. We risk being changed by what we hear. When I really want to hear another person’s story, I try to leave my preconceptions at the door and draw close to their telling. I am always partially listening to the thoughts in my own head when others are speaking, so I consciously quiet my thoughts and begin to listen with my senses. . . . The most critical part of listening is asking what is at stake for the other person. I try to understand what matters to them, not what I think matters. Sometimes I start to lose myself in their story. As soon as I notice feeling unmoored, I try to pull myself back into my body, like returning home. As Hannah Arendt [1906–1975] says, “One trains one’s imagination to go visiting.” [1] When the story is done, we must return to our skin, our own worldview, and notice how we have been changed by our visit.
Kaur understands the complicated nature of listening to those we see as our religious, cultural, and political “opponents” and the emotional toll it takes:
It turns out it is extremely difficult to draw close to someone you find absolutely abhorrent. How do we listen to someone when their beliefs are disgusting? Or enraging? Or terrifying? . . . An invisible wall forms between us and them, a chasm that seems impossible to cross. We don’t even know why we should try to cross it. . . . In these moments, we can choose to remember that the goal of listening is not to feel empathy for our opponents, or validate their ideas, or even change their mind in the moment. Our goal is to understand them. . . .
When listening gets hard, I focus on taking the next breath. I pay attention to sensations in my body: heat, clenching, and constriction. I feel the ground beneath my feet. Am I safe? If so, I stay and slow my breath again, quiet my mind, and release the pressure that pushes me to defend my position. I try to wonder about this person’s story and the possible wound in them. I think of an earnest question and try to stay curious long enough to be changed by what I hear. Maybe, just maybe, my opponent will begin to wonder about me in return, ask me questions, and listen to my story. Maybe their views will start to break apart and new horizons will open in the process. . . . Then again, maybe not. It doesn’t matter as long as the primary goal of listening is to deepen my own understanding. Listening does not grant the other side legitimacy. It grants them humanity—and preserves our own.
There is a weightlifter in Lady in the Water that worked out only one side of his body.
I think he missed the lesson on balance.
We laugh, but how often do we do the same thing? It’s so easy to forget that we are body, mind, and spirit. To become the best version of ourselves, we need to nurture all three.
I was clueless about yoga until a few years ago when injuries left me looking for a new workout routine. My daughter recommended Yoga with Adriene, so my wife and I decided to give her YouTube videos a try. It’s been wonderful. At a basic level, yoga is simply stretching and strengthening exercises you can do at home that have mind and spirit benefits too. Adriene is a charming and relaxed guide, especially helpful for beginners. Her channel has a number of “30 Day Yoga Journeys” that are a great place to start, and her lovable dog Benji always makes an appearance.
MasterClass is a streaming service with video-based lessons by the best experts in the world on basically everything. Want to learn how to cook? Take lessons from Gordon Ramsey. Interested in improving your backhand or your three point shot? Serena Williams and Steph Curry are there for you. Curious about photography, interior design, cosmology, business, comedy, acting, directing, public speaking, gardening, negotiating, etc? The finest teachers anywhere are waiting. As an aspiring author, I just finished Neil Gaiman’s series of 20+ video lessons. That alone was more than worth a subscription. Each class comes with a pdf class guide, and the production quality is stunning.
One of the many things that COVID-forced restrictions have taught us is the importance of travel. Seeing new places, meeting new people, and having new experiences not only helps us grow, it nurtures our spirits. After the year we’ve had, most of us could use all the nurturing we can get. Travelzoo’s weekly Top 20 Travel Deals email (sign up on their website) provides an amazing variety of incredibly cheap travel around the world. A few years ago, I booked a Travelzoo package and spent eleven amazing days in China, seeing the sites with an English-speaking guide and staying in top hotels. Literally everything was included for a price cheaper than booking just the flights on my own. My wife and I spent eight days island hopping in Greece on another fantastic Travelzoo bargain. Fully refundable deals with travel dates into 2022 are available now at rock bottom prices.
So what part of you could use a little TLC? Your body, your mind, or your spirit? Try a little yoga. Scroll the list of Masterclasses. Sign up for the Travelzoo email. Set aside some time for yourself today, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
