Developing a Better You

Category: Mind (Page 1 of 54)

Want a More Interesting Life? Do More Interesting Things

It was a humbling moment.

In training for our walk across northern Spain next spring on the Camino de Santiago (I wrote about how that came about HERE), my wife Lisa and I recently hiked Wind Cave Trail in Mesa Arizona in the US. While ascending a steep section, we stepped aside to allow a faster couple to pass us. We saw the couple clearly for the first time on reaching the summit. They were seventy-three years old.

I complemented them on their hiking speed up the challenging ascent. The woman shrugged and said, “This was a slow day for us. It took us thirty-five minutes when we normally do it in thirty-three.” (Lisa and I are in our mid-fifties, and it had taken us almost an hour). They were getting ready to hike through Glacier National Park.

As we took in the hard-earned view, we fell into conversation with another woman our age. She told us that she’d struggled with depression and poor health earlier in the year before deciding to start hiking. She’d summited this trail every day for six months straight and had now rebounded both physically and emotionally.

I’m more motivated than ever to continue training because of these encounters. I realized we’d only met these interesting people because we’d decided to do an interesting thing—walk hundreds of miles across Spain on the Camino de Santiago. Had we not committed to this adventure, we wouldn’t have hiked to Wind Cave and wouldn’t have met these inspiring people.

My wife Lisa and me on Wind Cave Trail

Are you feeling in a rut? Does your social interaction feel stale? Choose to do something interesting. Take a modern dance class. Learn tai chi. Volunteer for Meals on Wheels. Travel to a place you’ve only seen on Instagram. If you do, you’ll have a more interesting life with interesting people, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Reframe Your Perspective on Interruptions

It’s an incongruous pairing. 

I’m a routine person. I thrive in predictable patterns, set schedules and dependable habits. 

Living nomadically does not lend itself to structure. Nine months ago, my wife and I sold our home and most of our possessions and hit the road, living in short term rentals, cruise ships, pet-sitting locations, and with friends and family. The freedom and spontaneity have been amazing, but it’s hard to keep a routine when you’re regularly in different places

One of the many lessons nomadic life is teaching me is to reframe my perspective on inevitable interruptions to my cherished routines. Here are some ways I’m trying to live that out:

1. Live in the moment

I excel at processing the past and anticipating the future. I struggle to be present, mentally and emotionally engaged in the here and now, savoring what’s right in front of me. It’s a tired but accurate cliche based on a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt—Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present. I’m trying to live in the moment, even in the midst of interruptions.

2. Find God in everything

I have a 40 minute spiritual practice each morning (10 minutes of spiritual reading, 10 minutes of silent meditation, 20 minutes of prayer). I love it. It grounds me and prepares me mentally and emotionally for the day, but sometimes that routine just doesn’t work with our nomadic schedule. I lack either the time or the space or both. I’m learning to remember that the practice isn’t the point—connecting with God is. As I believe that God is everywhere and in everything, I’m learning to find God in whatever activity demands my time and attention throughout the day.

Photo by Natalia Sobolivska on Unsplash

3. Embrace spontaneity

Spontaneity does not come naturally to me. I’m far too rigid and controlling. I’m trying to look at spontaneous interruptions as opportunities to pivot from my plans and embrace what gifts the unexpected has to offer. Some of the best moments of my life, as well as the deepest lessons, have come from what I initially saw as interruptions.

How do you view interruptions? When they inevitably come, take a breath. Try to reframe your perspective. Live in the moment. Find God or the universe or your higher power in everything. Embrace spontaneity. If you do, you’ll have more peaceful, enjoyable life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Interested in checking out my books? Find more info at MattMcMann.com.

The Invitation You Should Probably Decline

An invitation is a mixed bag. 

On one hand, it feels good to be thought of. Noticed. Wanted. Included. On the other hand, accepting is a commitment of time, energy, and sometimes money. And there’s often a sense of obligation that comes with an invitation—I don’t want to accept, but I feel like I should.

Invitations come in many varieties—parties, ball games, dates, charitable events, groups, etc. Welcome or not, those kinds of invitations are usually clear and understandable.

What is often murkier is when you’re invited to an argument. That’s when someone is passionate about an issue, often upset, and wants you to be a part of it. At times, accepting that invitation is a good, necessary, and noble thing to do. Sometimes we should engage to stand up for someone being oppressed, for a principle we believe in, for a cause worth fighting for.

But that’s often not the case. Many times, someone has a self-serving agenda, an ax to grind, or misplaced anger, and they want to suck you into their misery. These invitations should almost always be declined. The odds of you emerging victorious, or even making a positive impact, are low. More than likely, you’ll end up wasting your time and emotional energy, then walking away feeling beat up and frustrated.

So when someone invites you to an argument, pause. Recognize it for what it is. Decide if it’s a cause worth fighting for. Does it resonate with who you are and align with what you believe is yours to do? If so, accept. If not, politely decline and walk away. If you do, you’ll enjoy a more peaceful life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published Oct 15, 2022.

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