Developing a Better You

Category: Mind (Page 12 of 53)

Why I Love Cemeteries

I’m tired.

For most of the last six weeks, I’ve traveled the U.S. on book tour, talking with people about writing and my Monsterious series. I’ve done a steady stream of stock signings, interviews, school presentations, and bookstore events. It’s been exciting, frustrating, fun, exhausting, and deeply fulfilling.

At the end of it all, I feel empty. Drained. In need of quiet, rest, and reflection. When I realized I didn’t have the time or the energy to write a new post this week, I waded through some of the hundreds of posts I’ve written over the last six years. The one I’m reposting below (originally published March 3, 2018) spoke to me, maybe because the thought of lying down for a long time sounds very appealing right now. I hope it helps you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Why I Love Cemeteries: Cemetery

I love cemeteries. That might sound odd, even morbid. I’m not insensitive to the memories of pain and loss that they hold for so many. I deeply respect that. But to me, they are special places that nurture my personal development in ways few others do.

Cemeteries invite quiet reflection. They encourage me to slow down, to ponder, to contemplate. What do I want my life to be about? How do I want to be remembered? They have an atmosphere of reverence and respect, rare qualities in a time often marked by derision and divisiveness. A stroll through a cemetery reminds me of what I believe is important: Relationships. Character. Purpose. Joie de vivre.

Why I Love Cemeteries: Cemetery

I love how my perspective is sharpened by reading tombstones. I’m reminded that all of these people were once like me. That one day a grave marker will bear my name. Soon after, I’ll probably be remembered only by loved ones and then, over time, by no one at all. Reading those names reminds me that life is a breath, and I am small. I’m not as important to the world as I sometimes think I am. That’s a healthy dose of humility.

Why I Love Cemeteries: Cemetery

Yet being in a cemetery also makes me feel cherished, prized, special. Not to a fame infatuated world but to One whom I believe made me, knows me, and desires me. I think of a cemetery as a transition point, a way station, a gate that leads from one season to the next. It’s a passageway connecting one plane of existence to another. The end of one journey and the start of a far greater adventure.

Why I Love Cemeteries: Cemetery

I could be wrong. Maybe death is the end. Perhaps nothing waits for me and everything that I am will be snuffed out like the flame of a candle. But I don’t think so. I have subjective reasons, things I’ve felt and heard and seen that point to something greater, something beyond this life. And there are more objective arguments that appeal to my rational mind as well. So for reasons of both the head and the heart, I believe and find hope.

Why I Love Cemeteries: Cemetery

So if you need some perspective on life, if the thought of some quiet reflection sounds like water for your thirsty soul, if you’re looking for a little hope, I encourage you to slip away for an hour. Stroll thoughtfully through a cemetery. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

A Better Way to Approach Life

A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.

lao tzu

That quote is not me. 

Plans. Lists. Schedules. That’s my style. 

But something about the perspective in that quote almost took my breath away. The freedom. The ease. The spontaneity. It sounds so appealing. 

That’s especially true right now. I just finished writing the fifth book in my Monsterious series on a tight deadline. I’m in the middle of an ambitious tour season with dozens of school and bookstore appearances in five states along with various interviews. My itineraries are ten pages long. Everything feels planned. While that’s a necessary part of my job, it highlights the appeal of lightly planned travel with a focus on the journey, not the destination. 

I’ve scheduled some serious downtime for November to live out this quote in an intentional way. While that’s a good thing, I believe “time off” is only half of what the quote is trying to teach. The real life-changing power of this perspective is not only to apply it in dedicated blocks of time, but to adopt it into my everyday life. Even while following detailed itineraries. 

I’m going to try my best over these next six weeks to travel lightly, keeping my mental and emotional baggage to carryon size. I’m sure I’ll fall short many times under the weariness and stress of the tour, but, as with all of my attempts at personal development, the effort itself is a victory. As C. S. Lewis wrote, “If the will to walk is there, God is pleased even with our stumbling.”

On your life’s journey, set aside time for unhurried, floating travel. Begin to shift your daily perspective to this more fluid and flexible state. If you do, you’ll experience lower stress and greater peace, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

The Important Difference Between Talents and Gifts

What is the difference between a talent and a gift?

I’d never clearly thought about the distinction, but the following excerpt from author and speaker Henri Nouwen resonates with me. It’s also incredibly encouraging. So often, I feel like my talents fail me or aren’t enough to meet a need or accomplish a goal. Knowing in those moments that I still have gifts to bring is gratifying.

This concept also opens my eyes to the value and contributions of others that I often overlook. I hope this simple yet profound idea helps you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

More important than our talents are our gifts. We may have only a few talents, but we have many gifts. Our gifts are the many ways in which we express our humanity. They are part of who we are: friendship, kindness, patience, joy, peace, forgiveness, gentleness, love, hope, trust, and many others. These are the true gifts we have to offer to each other.

Somehow I have known this for a long time, especially through my personal experience of the enormous healing power of these gifts. But since my coming to live in a community with mentally handicapped people, I have rediscovered this simple truth. Few, if any, of those people have talents they can boast of. Few are able to make contributions to our society that allow them to earn money, compete on the open market, or win awards. But how splendid are their gifts!

henri nouwen

As featured in the Aug 17, 2023 Daily Meditation from The Henri Nouwen Society. Text excerpts taken from “You are the Beloved” by Henri J.M. Nouwen, © 2017 by The Henri Nouwen Legacy Trust. Published by Convergent Books

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