Developing a Better You

Category: Mind (Page 12 of 56)

The Importance of Balance—Be Against the Bad, But For the Good

It was a moment of serendipity. 

After writing last week’s post on the dual nature of freedom (freedom from + freedom for), I read the Daily Meditation from the Center for Action and Contemplation. It shared an expert from author Sarah Bessey on the importance of being “against” what is bad, but also “for” what is good. I’m sharing it here as a follow up and expansion on last week’s theme. I hope it helps you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Imagining and contending for what you hope for in this world is one of the hardest and kindest paths I’ve discovered out here. In the midst of all this, don’t forget to imagine something better. Don’t forget to dream of what could be possible. And don’t forget to live into those hopes with faithfulness. Move in that direction, especially when all you know is “not this.”  

If it helps, sometimes I’ve thought of this as the rhythm of turning away and then turning toward, almost like a beautiful dance…. We turn away from those things we’re against and toward the hopeful future we imagine. In a purposeful movement, we turn away from the practices or beliefs or habits that consume us, threaten us, reduce us, and distract us. And then we turn toward what brings flourishing, goodness, and truth to us. Turn away, yes, and turn toward…. What we turn toward should reorient us to the world in a posture of love, joy, and service.  

It can be a simple rhythm to begin with. Turning away from spaces in social media that have become toxic for you and turning toward inviting a lonely neighbor over for tea. Turning away from voices that bring shame and guilt to you or others and turning toward voices that preach freedom and wholeness and love. Or turning away from shrinking back and shutting up to keep the peace; turning toward owning your voice, your body, your experiences with boldness. Turning away from gossip and petty nitpicking; turning toward language of blessing….  

Begin with Against, and keep going until you find your For. It’s an act of defiant faith. It will give you something to lean into. It will give you a path to follow.  

Sarah Bessey, Field Notes for the Wilderness: Practices for an Evolving Faith (New York: Convergent Books, 2024), 171, 173–174. As shared in the July 6, 2024 Daily Meditation from the Center for Action and Contemplation (cac.org)

5 Life Lessons I Learned From My Granddog

His name is Leonard.

He’s an adorable black Bernedoodle, half Bernese Mountain Dog, half Poodle, the latest addition to my daughter and son-in-law’s growing menagerie. At only four months old, Leonard is already thirty-five pounds, and he’s all puppy—nipping, playing, napping, and eating everything in sight. We love him.

While spending time with Leonard, I’ve noticed he embodies certain traits that I want more of in my own life:

1. Be curious

For Leonard, everything is new and fascinating. I’m trying to remember how the world looked when I was young and to see things through the eyes of my inner child (or in this case, my inner puppy). I’m working on rediscovering the wonder in the wonderfully ordinary. Exploring. Asking questions. Trying new things. It makes life, and me, more interesting.

Leonard discovering a moth

2. Express affection

Leonard is not lacking in this department, sharing his snuggles and kisses generously. What does that look like for me? If I care about someone, I should show it. If I like them, I should let them know. I want to worry less about what people might think of me and more about making sure they know they’re special. Tail wagging is optional.

3. Take naps

Leonard is a champion napper. I’ve started trying it when I’m weary. My attitude and energy level are better for it. And the people around me benefit from me being less cranky and more fun. 

Leonard showing patience with his “big brother” Otis

4. Be patient

Though he’s three times the size, Leonard never reacts to his big brother Otis’s snarls and snaps, while Otis adjusts to not getting all the attention. Without understanding what Otis is going through, I could make a wrong judgement about his temperament. People are the same. Most of them are facing battles I don’t know about. When they’re prickly, I try to be as patient with them as I’d want them to be with me when I’m not at my best.

5. Be yourself

Awkward. Shy. Playful. Silly. Leonard is all these things. He has no pretense and wears no masks, taking everyone at face value and assuming they’ll do the same with him. The lesson is clear—whoever I am, I should be that.

A squinty sunrise shot of me with Leonard

Which of these puppy traits do you already embody? Which could use some attention? Be curious. Express affection. Take naps. Be patient. Be yourself. If you do, you’ll live a deeper, more enjoyable life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Lousy at Meditating? Try Walking Meditation

Life is hard right now. My mom’s serious medical issue that I mentioned in a post a few weeks ago has become critical, demanding much of my time and energy. That’s why I’ve been reposting content I’ve shared previously for the past few weeks. Spending extended time helping my parents navigate this difficult season has knocked my prayer and meditation routine off the rails. When I do find / make time for these practices, I struggle to focus. One thing that’s helped is walking meditation. Here’s a post I wrote about it previously. I hope it helps you on your journey toward Becoming Yourself.

I struggle with meditation.

If you’ve been focused on personal development for any length of time, you’ve probably heard about the benefits of meditation—stress relief, calming anxiety, generating ideas, lowering blood pressure, etc. The good news is, that’s all true. The bad news is that you have to actually do it, with some degree of “success,” to realize those benefits.

I’ve practiced mediation regularly in some form or another for years. There have been seasons where I really focused on it and others where it took a backseat in my personal development routine. These days I meditate / practice listening prayer ten minutes a day using the Calm app as my timer. The selection of soothing nature sounds helps me focus, but even with the app, I often struggle. I have an active mind, and my thoughts tend to zip around like hummingbirds.

Of the many meditation methods I’ve tried, the one I’ve had the most success with is walking meditation. It’s as simple as it sounds. Go for a stroll, preferably in a calm area, with no particular destination or agenda. Walk casually. There’s no hurry. Let your mind wander. Notice what’s around you. The sunlight filtering through the leaves of a nearby tree. The caress of the breeze. The scent of pine. The music of the birds. The pop of color from the flowers along the sidewalk. Interesting bits of architecture.

Ponder the things you observe. Sit at that random bench in the shade for a few minutes. Move on when it feels right. Let your fingers graze the bark of a tree. Pluck a leaf and rub it gently between your fingers as you walk, feeling your connection to the natural world around you. This isn’t a time to talk on the phone or listen to a podcast. Soothing instrumental music can help, but I usually prefer the soundtrack of my environment.

I practiced walking meditation recently on the lovely campus of a nearby university. I strolled for an hour in silence. Watched robed graduates taking celebratory photos in front of a fountain. Bent to retrieve a fallen pine cone and rolled the rough texture against my palm. Admired the majestic old buildings. Sat in a secluded courtyard beneath a flowering tree. It was lovely and healing. I returned home feeling calm, rejuvenated, and refreshed.

So how about you? Have you ever tried meditating? Was it easy or difficult? Regardless of your past experience, give walking mediation a try. Find a park or a path or a secluded spot. Try your neighborhood. Take an unhurried stroll. Notice the sights, sounds, and smells around you. Let go of any sense of task or agenda. Just be. If you do, you’ll begin to experience the benefits of meditation, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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