Developing a Better You

Category: Mind (Page 3 of 56)

A Celtic Blessing to Lower Stress

“Leave room in your garden for the fairies to dance.”

—attributed to artist James Temple

I honestly don’t know the original intent of this Celtic blessing, but the evocative invitation caught my attention. 

I’ve been stressed lately. The nomadic lifestyle my wife Lisa and I have been living for almost a year is wonderful and freeing, but it does have it’s downsides.

We’ve learned that “transition days” are difficult, where we wake up in one location and go to sleep in another. It involves packing, cleaning, traveling to our next place, unpacking, getting groceries, and learning the basics of the new domicile. There are dozens of little irritating questions you never think about in your own home that crop up on the road—Where are the light switches? Why aren’t there more outlets? How does the dishwasher work? Where’s the recycling?

Our recent schedule has been filled with transition days as we’ve gone from out-of-state travel to a few days at some friends’ house to three different pet sitting gigs back-to-back. I’m not complaining—the free lodging while pet sitting helps fund our travels—but it comes at a price. Walking, brushing, feeding, administering meds, play time, cleaning up messes, and dealing with behavioral challenges adds up.

The combination of closely packed transition days and caring for numerous animals has contributed to my stress. So when I read the phrase “Leave room in your garden for the fairies to dance,” here’s what it meant to me:

I need to build margin into my schedule. 

I’m a planner and derive great satisfaction from crossing things off my to do list. Reaching the end of the day with numerous things undone is a stress inducer.

What that Celtic blessing reminded me of was the need to plan for the unplanned. To add “deal with unexpected curve ball” to my list. Because those surprises come up with shocking regularity. A flat tire. An illness. Walking a stubbornly slow pet. Travel delays. If I “leave room for the fairies to dance” (a.k.a. margin) in my schedule, those stubborn interruptions will be far easier to take.

How’s your daily schedule? Is it filled to the minute? Are you feeling the stress? Plan for the unplanned. Expect the unexpected. Build in margin. Leave room for the fairies to dance. If you do, you’ll enjoy a more peaceful life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Want a Better Life for Yourself and Others? Engage Socially

We’re fine on our own, thank you very much.

That’s been the perspective my wife Lisa and I normally take during our nomadic travels, especially on cruises. Cruise ships afford you the opportunity to be as isolated or as social as you choose. Both being introverts, Lisa and I tend to shy away from new relationships.

We’re challenging ourselves to change that. Part of the wonder of travel is not only the places you go but the people you meet. People from all over the world and from different walks of life. People we can learn from. People who make the travel experience, and our lives, a little richer. 

We’re currently cruising southeastern Alaska, soaking in some of the most stunning scenery we’ve ever seen. At lunch the other day, Lisa struck up a conversation with the couple at the next table (she’s doing better at initiating than I am). They were friendly and engaging, and we bantered comfortably.

Noticing their accent and feeling emboldened, I asked, “What part of Australia are you from?” The smiles froze on their faces. They said, “We’re from New Zealand.” I didn’t fully understand it, but I knew I’d made a social blunder. Later I overheard a man at another table ask them if they were from New Zealand. They enthusiastically said yes, adding how much they hate it when people assume they’re from Australia.

Sometimes you swing and you miss. 

But we persevered. At dinner the next night, Lisa again started a conversation with a new couple at the next table. They were lovely, and we found we had much in common. At the end of the dinner, we exchanged phone numbers and arranged to have dinner together the following night.

At the next dinner, I was struck by how many of the life experiences Lisa and I have had proved helpful to our new friends. One of them is a writer looking to break into the industry. As published authors, Lisa and I could share some insights. Their kids are younger than ours, and we talked about navigating the tricky transition to parenting adult children. They were interested in downsizing and traveling more, and we told them our journey to becoming nomads.

Lisa and I in Haines Alaska

By choosing to get out of our comfort zone and engage with new people, Lisa and I had a much more enjoyable experience. It also put us in a position to pass on some hard-won knowledge and make the road a little easier for someone else.

Are you, like us, normally reserved socially? Put yourself out there. Strike up a conversation. Engage with people. Be ready to learn. Share the life lessons you’ve gained. If you do, you’ll have a richer life while helping others, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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Want a More Interesting Life? Do More Interesting Things

It was a humbling moment.

In training for our walk across northern Spain next spring on the Camino de Santiago (I wrote about how that came about HERE), my wife Lisa and I recently hiked Wind Cave Trail in Mesa Arizona in the US. While ascending a steep section, we stepped aside to allow a faster couple to pass us. We saw the couple clearly for the first time on reaching the summit. They were seventy-three years old.

I complemented them on their hiking speed up the challenging ascent. The woman shrugged and said, “This was a slow day for us. It took us thirty-five minutes when we normally do it in thirty-three.” (Lisa and I are in our mid-fifties, and it had taken us almost an hour). They were getting ready to hike through Glacier National Park.

As we took in the hard-earned view, we fell into conversation with another woman our age. She told us that she’d struggled with depression and poor health earlier in the year before deciding to start hiking. She’d summited this trail every day for six months straight and had now rebounded both physically and emotionally.

I’m more motivated than ever to continue training because of these encounters. I realized we’d only met these interesting people because we’d decided to do an interesting thing—walk hundreds of miles across Spain on the Camino de Santiago. Had we not committed to this adventure, we wouldn’t have hiked to Wind Cave and wouldn’t have met these inspiring people.

My wife Lisa and me on Wind Cave Trail

Are you feeling in a rut? Does your social interaction feel stale? Choose to do something interesting. Take a modern dance class. Learn tai chi. Volunteer for Meals on Wheels. Travel to a place you’ve only seen on Instagram. If you do, you’ll have a more interesting life with interesting people, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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