Developing a Better You

Category: Mind (Page 37 of 50)

“Receive Mode”: An Easy, 10-Minute Practice for Guidance and Stress Relief

It’s been almost exactly a year since we moved from our house in Phoenix, AZ to our apartment in Sacramento, CA. As I recently reflected back on that move, I was reminded of an important personal development tool that helped get me through that stressful season. I’m reposting what I wrote about the practice during that time in hopes that this will be helpful to you. Read on – stress relief and guidance are only 10 minutes away!

We’re moving to California, and I was feeling the stress. After months of going back and forth between our house in Arizona and an apartment in Sacramento where our son lives, we’ve decided to take the plunge. We’re trading a big home in the suburban desert for a smaller place in a tree-lined, walkable city.

It’s a big change for us, but we’re excited. Along with that excitement, however, comes stress. Moving to a new state after fourteen years in one place is a logistical challenge. Completing the planning, organizing, packing, cleaning, decluttering, and neglected home maintenance projects, all while keeping work and the normal responsibilities of life going, has been a struggle. A few days ago, I was succumbing to the pressure. My mind was whirling with all the things that needed to get done, and I was feeling moody, anxious, and overwhelmed. 

Then I remembered something I read in a book my accountability partner gave me, Thou Shall Prosper by Rabbi Daniel Lapin. The author talked about the value of regularly going into “receive mode,” where you stop striving or doing or planning or moving for ten minutes and put yourself in a position to hear something. Receive something. Gain some guidance. Some clarity. Some perspective. From God, from the world around you, or from the recesses of your own cluttered mind.

My honest thought in the moment was, “I don’t have time for that!” The irony was not lost on me. It is precisely for moments like this that the practice was developed. I realized I couldn’t afford NOT to do this. So I set a timer on my phone for ten minutes and lay down on the bed. I made myself breathe deeply and just let my mind wander. Gradually my swirling thoughts slowed, and I felt myself start to relax. I gently opened my mind to receive whatever God or my own brain chose to bring up. 

When the timer went off after ten minutes, an amazing thing had happened. I was calm. I wasn’t moody or anxious anymore. My perspective had been reset. My to-do list no longer seemed so overwhelming and had diminished to an appropriate level of importance. And most surprisingly, a clear plan for a more efficient way to accomplish the tasks ahead of me popped into my mind without effort.

This counterintuitive “receive mode” practice isn’t new. You may have heard the axiom “Don’t just do something, stand there” applied to long-term investing. Or the verse from the Bible that says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10). Or your parents telling you, “Just sit still for a few minutes, and you’ll think of something to do,” when you complained of being bored as a kid. However you look at it, the effectiveness of this simple technique has stood the test of time.

So how about you? Are you feeling stressed or overwhelmed? Too much to do and too little time? Take a moment to pause. Go to your favorite chair. Lie on the bed. Sit under a tree. Embrace the silence. Breathe deeply. Let your thoughts wander. Listen to what God or the universe or your subconscious has to say. You may be surprised by what you hear. Invest just ten minutes of time to recenter, refocus, and refresh your mind by putting yourself in “receive mode.” If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

(originally posted September 2, 2018)

Eat Your Elephant: A Bite-Sized Way to Achieve Audacious Goals

Achieving Goals: Cleaning TileI hate floor tile. I’m more of a wood floor and carpet person. What I hate even more is cleaning tile. It had been on my to do list for a long time. I finally broke down and started the task by telling myself all I had to clean was the master bathroom floor and then I could quit.

To make the time more productive and enjoyable, I set up my laptop on the bathroom counter and searched YouTube for “best TED Talks”. For those unfamiliar with TED Talks, they are short teachings (about 15 minutes) on a wide variety of interesting subjects by experts in their field. I picked one at random and started scrubbing.

Achieving Goals: Goal SettingAs I listened to “How to Achieve Your Most Ambitious Goals“ by Stephen Duneier, I was surprised to realize that I was actually using the technique the speaker was encouraging. I was breaking up a big task or goal into small, manageable pieces and then just taking the first step. It’s along the lines of the old adage “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” But this talk adds the tips of identifying your bites and utilizing otherwise wasted time in your day to take them.

Rather than reading my attempt at further explanation, give yourself a gift and take 18 minutes to be entertained, enlightened and inspired by listening to this highly motivating talk yourself.

Achieving Goals: ElephantBy the way, after I finished cleaning the master bathroom floor, I knocked out the entryway and downstairs bath floors as well! While floor cleaning is hardly an audacious goal, learning to apply this technique on smaller tasks gives me confidence in using it for bigger ones. Listen to this short TED Talk on a manageable way to achieve your audacious goals and take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

(Originally posted February 17, 2018)

What Ancient Cedar Trees Taught Me About My Problems

After a long day of editing one of my novels, I was feeling brain dead and ready to crash in front of the TV. For whatever reason, I got a strong sense that I should take a walk instead. Trusting the intuition or God’s nudge or whatever it was, I grabbed my keys and headed out.

I wandered with no particular destination in mind. I had my headphones in, but rather than turn on an audio book or podcast, I just enjoyed the quiet. As I passed houses and apartments, I admired the architecture and wondered about the lives of the people who lived there.

I soon found myself in Capitol Park, one of my favorite haunts. It’s an island of curved paths, soaring trees, and green grass in the middle of bustling downtown Sacramento. I ambled slowly, without an agenda, soaking in the calm surroundings. Crossing the lawn in front of the striking dome of the State Capitol Building, I walked over to my favorite trees, a row of towering deodar cedars. Something about their massive girth, rough bark, giant limbs, and open foliage has always captured my imagination.

As I stood gazing up at these wooden monoliths, I thought of all that they had seen and withstood over their one-hundred and fifty years. The city has literally grown up around them. Storms have come and gone. Political leaders have changed. People have lived and died. Rain-soaked winters have yielded to sun-drenched summers. And still they stand.

It helped me see my problems in a new light. I often get worried and anxious about my day-to-day struggles. They can seem so big and important and long-lasting. But against the backdrop of these trees, somehow they began to feel smaller, more temporary, less weighty. As I stood beneath these ancient cedars, I could almost hear them whisper, Take a deep breath. Storms pass. Everything’s going to be okay.

I walked home feeling more full, open, and at peace than I have in a long time. I said a prayer of thanks for the message of the trees.

What I’m about to suggest is neither profound nor a miracle cure. It won’t make your problems go away, be they big or small. But if your day-to-day struggles are looming large or if you’re feeling a little overwhelmed, try taking a walk. Amble slowly. Let your thoughts wander. Take in whatever beauty you can find around you. Listen to the trees. You just might find a healthier perspective and a little peace. And you’ll have taken another step toward Becoming Yourself.

That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

The Bible, 2nd Corinthians 4:16-18 (New Living Translation)
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