Becoming Yourself

Developing a Better You

Category: Mind (Page 4 of 56)

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Reframe Your Perspective on Interruptions

May 17, 2025 / / 2 Comments

It’s an incongruous pairing. 

I’m a routine person. I thrive in predictable patterns, set schedules and dependable habits. 

Living nomadically does not lend itself to structure. Nine months ago, my wife and I sold our home and most of our possessions and hit the road, living in short term rentals, cruise ships, pet-sitting locations, and with friends and family. The freedom and spontaneity have been amazing, but it’s hard to keep a routine when you’re regularly in different places. 

One of the many lessons nomadic life is teaching me is to reframe my perspective on inevitable interruptions to my cherished routines. Here are some ways I’m trying to live that out:

1. Live in the moment

I excel at processing the past and anticipating the future. I struggle to be present, mentally and emotionally engaged in the here and now, savoring what’s right in front of me. It’s a tired but accurate cliche based on a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt—Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present. I’m trying to live in the moment, even in the midst of interruptions.

2. Find God in everything

I have a 40 minute spiritual practice each morning (10 minutes of spiritual reading, 10 minutes of silent meditation, 20 minutes of prayer). I love it. It grounds me and prepares me mentally and emotionally for the day, but sometimes that routine just doesn’t work with our nomadic schedule. I lack either the time or the space or both. I’m learning to remember that the practice isn’t the point—connecting with God is. As I believe that God is everywhere and in everything, I’m learning to find God in whatever activity demands my time and attention throughout the day.

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3. Embrace spontaneity

Spontaneity does not come naturally to me. I’m far too rigid and controlling. I’m trying to look at spontaneous interruptions as opportunities to pivot from my plans and embrace what gifts the unexpected has to offer. Some of the best moments of my life, as well as the deepest lessons, have come from what I initially saw as interruptions.

How do you view interruptions? When they inevitably come, take a breath. Try to reframe your perspective. Live in the moment. Find God or the universe or your higher power in everything. Embrace spontaneity. If you do, you’ll have more peaceful, enjoyable life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Interested in checking out my books? Find more info at MattMcMann.com.

The Invitation You Should Probably Decline

May 10, 2025 / / 0 Comments

An invitation is a mixed bag. 

On one hand, it feels good to be thought of. Noticed. Wanted. Included. On the other hand, accepting is a commitment of time, energy, and sometimes money. And there’s often a sense of obligation that comes with an invitation—I don’t want to accept, but I feel like I should.

Invitations come in many varieties—parties, ball games, dates, charitable events, groups, etc. Welcome or not, those kinds of invitations are usually clear and understandable.

What is often murkier is when you’re invited to an argument. That’s when someone is passionate about an issue, often upset, and wants you to be a part of it. At times, accepting that invitation is a good, necessary, and noble thing to do. Sometimes we should engage to stand up for someone being oppressed, for a principle we believe in, for a cause worth fighting for.

But that’s often not the case. Many times, someone has a self-serving agenda, an ax to grind, or misplaced anger, and they want to suck you into their misery. These invitations should almost always be declined. The odds of you emerging victorious, or even making a positive impact, are low. More than likely, you’ll end up wasting your time and emotional energy, then walking away feeling beat up and frustrated.

So when someone invites you to an argument, pause. Recognize it for what it is. Decide if it’s a cause worth fighting for. Does it resonate with who you are and align with what you believe is yours to do? If so, accept. If not, politely decline and walk away. If you do, you’ll enjoy a more peaceful life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published Oct 15, 2022.

Find Peace with Let Them Come, Let Them Be, Let Them Go

April 5, 2025 / / 0 Comments

Something about this quote caught my heart:

Let them come, let them be, let them go.

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It stirred a longing, a wistful feeling, a thinly veiled desire. It rang true. But what does it mean? 

One of the strengths of this quote is that it’s open to interpretation. Different people can find different meanings. For me, I realized it outlines a peaceful life, free from the fear of what may come, of what I’ll experience, and of what I might lose. I long for a life like that, to know that kind of relief and freedom on a daily basis. 

So how can I become a peaceful, mature, content person who lets things come, be and go? How can I live with open hands?

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I need to embrace new ideas, new people, and new experiences. I must let them come, even when they challenge my comfort zone and my established thinking. And once they are there, I must let them be, appreciating and enjoying them for who and what they are without feeling the need to change them. I need to be open to what they have to teach. At the same time, I must be willing to let them go when they have run their course, served their purpose, finished their season (you can read my post on when to let go of a relationship here).

Most of us naturally struggle with some of these traits while gravitating toward others. As a routine-loving person with a slightly timid nature, I struggle to let them come. Diving into new experiences is scary for me. I’d also put let them go in the growth edge column. I tend to take too long to realize a once-cherished routine, activity or relationship has run its course. On the plus side, I’m usually comfortable with let them be. 

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Which of these three ways of living comes easiest to you? Which is your biggest struggle? What are you resisting allowing to come into your life? What’s already in your life that you feel the unnecessary need to “fix”? What are you struggling to let go of? Breath deep. Be honest. Open your metaphorical hands to people, ideas and experiences. Let them come. Let them be. Let them go. If you do, you’ll find greater peace and contentment, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published May 7, 2022.

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