Becoming Yourself

Developing a Better You

Category: Personal Development (Page 13 of 57)

And Now For Something Completely Different…

April 29, 2023 / / 0 Comments

This is a curveball.

If you’re a regular reader of my blog, you know I usually share my personal development journey in hopes that it will help you with yours. This post is something different.

I’ve dreamed of being an author since I was a kid. After long years and a lot of struggle, that dream is about to come true. My first two novels will be published by Penguin Random House in a few weeks. In lieu of my normal personal development focus, I’d like to tell you about my book series. If you’re not interested, feel free to stop reading and check back next week.

The first two books in my spooky middle grade monster mystery series MONSTERIOUS publish on May 9, 2023. Why are they such a departure from what I normally write here? Because I was a scared kid, afraid of everything from the dark, to bullies, to the woods, to our basement. But I loved spooky stories. Seeing characters in those books face their fears gave me the courage to face my own. I want to write novels that give kids today the same spooky fun and help that those kinds of books gave me. And they are so fun to both read and write!

Come meet me at one of my events!

MONSTERIOUS books are geared for ages 8 to 12, but are great for anyone who enjoys fast-paced spooky thrillers with lots of action, humor, and heart. The books are short, can be read in any order, publish in hardcover, paperback, and audio simultaneously, and come out fast.

MONSTERIOUS: ESCAPE FROM GRIMSTONE MANOR (May 9, 2023) is about three friends who are trapped overnight in a haunted house amusement park ride and discover the monsters are real.

MONSTERIOUS: THE SNATCHER OF RAVEN HOLLOW (May 9, 2023) is about two friends who learn that a mysterious monster is responsible for the disappearance of babies in their small town—but no one believes them.

MONSTERIOUS: TERROR IN SHADOW CANYON (Aug 22, 2023) is about five hikers lost in a remote wilderness who are stalked by a flesh-eating monster.

All three books are available for preorder now wherever books are sold. The first two hit shelves May 9. A fourth will follow in January 2024. If they sound fun to you or to some spooky-loving reader in your life, I would be incredibly grateful if you’d buy them. As a debut trying to find an audience, every sale really helps in my goal to have a career an author. If this free blog has been helpful to you, and you’d like to support my writing, this is a great way to do it!

For more book info, fun background on me and my family, a calendar of tour appearances where you can meet me, and buy links for all my books, visit MattMcMann.com. You can even download a free spooky short story as my thanks for visiting.

Thank you so much for being a part of not only my personal development journey, but my writing journey as well. I hope my sharing about both helps you take your next step toward Becoming Yourself.

Creating Needed Space in Relationships

February 25, 2023 / / 0 Comments

I was an idiot.

When I was younger, I had an arrogance cloaked in humility, a certainty shrouded in religiosity. I was so sure that I knew the “right” ways to live, think, act, and speak that I wanted others to mirror them. I placed unreasonable expectations on people which caused tension. Rather than allowing them to be the amazing, unique people they were, I thought they should be more like me. 

Author and teacher Henri Nouwen described the need for space in relationships this way:

A mature human intimacy requires a deep and profound respect for the free and empty space that needs to exist within and between partners and that asks for a continuous mutual protection and nurture. Only in this way can a relationship be lasting, precisely because mutual love is experienced as a participation in a greater and earlier love to which it points. In this way intimacy can be rich and fruitful, since it has been given carefully protected space in which to grow. This relationship no longer is a fearful clinging to each other but a free dance, allowing space in which we can move forward and backward, form constantly new patterns, and see each other as always new.

Henri nouwen, you are the beloved

As I matured over time, I realized how misguided I’d been, and that a root of my unhealthy expectations was my unrecognized fear that if they were different and “right,” then I must be “wrong.” When I backed off and gave people in my life the space they needed to be themselves, the tension drained from our relationships. 

How are your relationships? Look honestly. Initiate real conversations. Share vulnerably. Apologize for unfair expectations. Cultivate healthy space for people to be fully themselves and to allow your relationships to grow. If you do, you’ll enjoy deeper connections, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Text excerpts taken from “You are the Beloved” by Henri J.M. Nouwen © 2017 by The Henri Nouwen Legacy Trust. Published by Convergent Books. Featured in the February 20, 2023 Daily Meditation from The Henri Nouwen Society. 

Photo by Robert Murray on Unsplash

The Long Road of Personal Development

February 18, 2023 / / 0 Comments

It was like finding buried treasure. 

Reorganizing a spare room recently led to the unearthing of old photos and memorabilia from key moments in our family’s life. My daughter Kennedy’s scribbled declaration that she wanted to be an actor at age seven. My son Kilian’s drawing of the Pokemon Charizard. The promo poster from my wife Lisa’s first book signing. The spooky story I wrote in 7th grade. 

It reminded me how far each of us had come. Kennedy had a successful four-year run as Nancy Drew on the CW network and just finished filming the pilot episode for The Good Lawyer, a proposed spin off of ABC’s The Good Doctor. Kilian is a professional illustrator and graphic designer with his own company. Lisa is a New York Times bestselling author of 29 books and counting. My own spooky middle grade debut series Monsterious hits the shelves May 9, 2023. 

Highlighting the successes we are enjoying in our careers can be deceiving. It can give the impression that we had our childhood dreams, and then we achieved them. What’s missing is the journey down long, winding roads filled with potholes, barricades, washed-out bridges, and steep inclines. Failure, exhaustion, crushing defeats, confusion, hard work, and self doubt were, and still are, familiar companions to each of us. 

True personal development is a similar journey. We have a dream, an image of who we want to become, physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. We start down the path like so many before us, and quickly learn that real change does not come cheap. Focus, sweat, grit, and perseverance are the price. That’s why so many turn back, choosing the easier though ultimately unfulfilling road of abandoned dreams.

But a worthy goal is worth the struggle. All the effort, disappointment, fear, and frustration shrink to insignificance when we reach the mountaintop and bask in the sun of our realized dream.

My wife Lisa’s latest series
My son Kilian’s design firm

What are your personal development goals? Who would you love to become? Paint a compelling picture of what you want to achieve. Map out clear, practical steps. Invite a trusted companion to encourage you and hold you accountable. Take the first step. When you fall, get up and start again. If you do, you’ll know the fulfillment of real change and the joy of a life worth living as you take another giant leap toward Becoming Yourself.

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