Developing a Better You

Category: Personal Development (Page 16 of 56)

Find Peace with Let Them Come, Let Them Be, Let Them Go

Something about this quote caught my heart:

Let them come, let them be, let them go.

culadasa

It stirred a longing, a wistful feeling, a thinly veiled desire. It rang true. But what does it mean? 

One of the strengths of this quote is that it’s open to interpretation. Different people can find different meanings. For me, I realized it outlines a peaceful life, free from the fear of what may come, of what I’ll experience, and of what I might lose. I long for a life like that, to know that kind of relief and freedom on a daily basis. 

So how can I become a peaceful, mature, content person who lets things come, be and go? How can I live with open hands?

Photo by Lina Trochez on Unsplash

I need to embrace new ideas, new people, and new experiences. I must let them come, even when they challenge my comfort zone and my established thinking. And once they are there, I must let them be, appreciating and enjoying them for who and what they are without feeling the need to change them. I need to be open to what they have to teach. At the same time, I must be willing to let them go when they have run their course, served their purpose, finished their season (you can read my post on when to let go of a relationship here).

Most of us naturally struggle with some of these traits while gravitating toward others. As a routine-loving person with a slightly timid nature, I struggle to let them come. Diving into new experiences is scary for me. I’d also put let them go in the growth edge column. I tend to take too long to realize a once-cherished routine, activity or relationship has run its course. On the plus side, I’m usually comfortable with let them be

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Which of these three ways of living comes easiest to you? Which is your biggest struggle? What are you resisting allowing to come into your life? What’s already in your life that you feel the unnecessary need to “fix”? What are you struggling to let go of? Breath deep. Be honest. Open your metaphorical hands to people, ideas and experiences. Let them come. Let them be. Let them go. If you do, you’ll find greater peace and contentment, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Feeling Crushed by the Weight of the World? Choose to Be Amazed

Living in these turbulent times is difficult. A global pandemic. Economic downturn. Political division. Racial injustice. Social unrest. The collective pressure of these external stressors can feel like concrete blocks on our shoulders that we can’t seem to drop.

One simple technique that has helped me slip out from under the weight of the world is shifting my attention from the macro to the micro. Intentionally tuning in to the small and everyday instead of the huge and glaring. I’m not talking about turning a blind eye to the problems we collectively face or ignoring the responsibility to do my part to help solve them. I’m talking about balancing that view with a renewed focus on the wonder of commonplace things.

The sweet warmth of my morning tea. The beautiful deep green color of our corner houseplant. The comfortable feeling of sliding into my well-worn slippers. The way the painting on our living room wall glows in the afternoon sun. The playfulness in my wife’s smile. The mind-boggling complexity of my hand. The taste of cherry pie. Opening my mind to the simple wonders around me provides a welcome counterbalance to the heaviness of the world. It brings wholeness to my perspective.

The celebrated philosopher and theologian Abraham Joshua Heschel said it better than I ever could:

“Our goal should be to live life in radical amazement… get up in the morning and look at the world in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is phenomenal; everything is incredible; never treat life casually. To be spiritual is to be amazed.”

abraham joshua heschel

I make this practice part of my daily routine. In the mornings, I slip out to our balcony and spend some time in meditation, prayer, and reading. Often I’ll start by intentionally noticing a few simple things around me and letting myself be gratefully amazed by them. Before bed, I’m back on the balcony, remembering the commonplace wonders I encountered throughout the day. This simple habit is usually enough to help me begin each day with a positive attitude and end it with a healthy realignment of my perspective.

What are the everyday wonders around you? When you pause for a moment to look, what catches your eye? What awakens amazement in you? As you learn to see life with simple awe, you’ll feel the weight of the world begin to slip from your shoulders, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published in July of 2020.

Need Motivation? Remember Personal Development isn’t Just Personal

Sometimes I forget that personal development isn’t just personal.

While becoming a better emotional and spiritual version of myself certainly benefits me, it also has a ripple effect. Everyone I interact with, from my closest friends and family to the checkout clerk I meet at the grocery store, is impacted by who I am and who I’m becoming.

I’m not saying I can make anyone grow or change. That power lies with each of us alone. And like you, I’m bombarded on a daily basis by bad examples of how to be human. But my personal development efforts can help me set a good example of what a healthy, growing human can look like. Though wildly imperfect, I can still be a useful guide for others to follow, as so many have done for me.

When I’m tempted to slack off on a personal development habit, be it better eating/sleeping/exercising, volunteering, nurturing meaningful relationships, spending time in prayer and meditation or sharpening my mind, I remind myself of this quote:

Be the reason someone believes in the goodness of people.

karen salmansohn

Remembering that my personal development journey is for the good of others as well as for myself often gives me the motivation I need to keep going.

So how about you? What kind of example are you setting for those around you? When people look at your life, are they inspired to become better versions of themselves? Do your words, actions, attitudes, behavior and how you spend your time, money and energy leave people discouraged by humanity or filled with hope at what an intentional person can be?

Your life gives off ripples. Everyone around you is effected. Choose simple, healthy habits for your heart, mind, body and spirit. Work them into your routine. Ask others to keep you accountable. Remember the quote above. If you do, you’ll not only enjoy a more peaceful, energized and fulfilling life, but you’ll help others do the same. And you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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