This post was originally published in November of 2020.
I screwed up.
Recently I was giving a couple of suitcases to a group of houseless neighbors who shelter across the street from our condo (you can read that story here) when a man asked me if I had any socks. I told him I would find some for him. I ordered several ten packs online and a few nights later went down to give them to the man and anyone else who wanted some.
As with the suitcases, the socks were welcomed eagerly by the ten or so people gathered there. As I handed them out, I noticed one young man sitting away from the group. I approached and asked if he’d like some. He nodded and I handed him a pair. Realizing I had one pair left in the bag, I said, “Here’s another,” and tossed it to him.
Within seconds the additional pair was rocketing back at my head.
“I don’t want it,” he said tersely. Startled and embarrassed, I muttered an apology. Retrieving the projectile pair, I laid it by a sleeping couple and left.
As I walked away, I replayed the scene in my head. At first, my embarrassment gave way to mild indignation. The other people had been so grateful. How could that man be so rude after being given a gift?
Then it hit me. He was right to be upset. In tossing him that second pair, I never stopped to think how it would feel to be in his position of needing to accept socks from a stranger. I assumed what he wanted and needed instead of asking. I didn’t give him the respect he deserved.
As much as that exchange stung, the man did me a favor. I’m grateful. He taught me an important lesson, one that will hopefully help me to do better next time.
Reaching out to help others is a wonderful thing. But as you do, remember to put yourself in the place of the person you’re trying to help. Act as you would want someone to act toward you if the situation was reversed. Give each person the dignity they deserve regardless of their circumstances. If you do, you’ll help to build a better world and take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
