Developing a Better You

Category: Personal Development (Page 2 of 56)

The Counterintuitive Benefits of Mindfulness

It’s completely counterintuitive. 

I’ve written about my efforts to live and work more “unhurriedly” before. It’s the idea that working slower and more deliberately with greater focus and attention produces a better outcome than faster-paced work. A little like “slow and steady wins the race,” but with an emphasis on mindfulness, which dictionary.com defines as:  

a technique in which one focuses one’s full attention only on the present, experiencing thoughts, feelings, and sensations but not judging them.

World-respected Buddhist practitioner and teacher Thich Nhat Hanh described mindfulness this way:

Mindful living is an art. You do not have to be a monk or live in a monastery to practice mindfulness. You can practice it anytime, while driving your car or doing housework. Driving in mindfulness will make the time in your car joyful, and it will also help you avoid accidents. You can use the red traffic light as a signal of mindfulness, reminding you to stop and enjoy your breathing. Similarly, when you do the dishes after dinner, you can practice mindful breathing so the time of dish washing is pleasant and meaningful. Do not feel you have to rush. If you hurry, you waste the time of dish washing. The time you spend washing dishes and doing all your other everyday tasks is precious. It is time for being alive. When you practice mindful living, peace will bloom during your daily activities.

thich nhat hanh, your true home, entry 29

The success of my attempts to practice mindfulness is mixed. It’s a completely different mindset for me. I’ve spent decades learning how to work faster, more efficiently, to fill all the gaps, to multitask, with a drive to cross as many things off my to-do list as possible. Yet when I manage to achieve this mindfulness approach, I’m shocked to find that:

1. I get MORE work done

2. I get BETTER work done

3. I ENJOY my work more

4. I feel RELAXED and PEACEFUL at the end of the day vs exhausted and harried

What is your normal pace of daily life? Is it characterized by striving attack or gentle grace? Pause regularly. Gaze out the window. Take a few deep breaths. Chat briefly with a friend, loved one, or co-worker. Make an extra cup of tea. Move with thoughtfulness and attention. If you do, you’ll experience a boost in both peace and productivity as you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published on June 17, 2023.

Hope is an Axe

Sometimes four words can stop your heart:

HOPE IS AN AXE.

Hope is not a lottery ticket you can sit on the sofa and clutch, feeling lucky. It is an axe you break down doors with in an emergency.

Rebecca Solnit, Hope in the Dark: The Untold History of People Power

I’m a big fan of hope. I’ve thought about, cultivated, and written about it often (you can read those posts here, here, and here). But I’d never thought of hope in such a forceful way, like a weapon to cut through the morass of doubt, fear, and cynicism that surrounds us. It changes hope from a fragile, ephemeral feeling to a rugged, dependable tool.

That perspective on hope is mirrored in the response author, actor, and musician Nick Cave gave to a fan who presented him with a question I’m sure many of us have asked ourselves:

“Do you still believe in us human beings?”

Nick’s answer paints a sharp-edged view of hope:

Much of my early life was spent holding the world and the people in it in contempt. It was a position both seductive and indulgent. The truth is, I was young and had no idea what was coming down the line. It took a devastation to teach me the preciousness of life and the essential goodness of people. It took a devastation to reveal the precariousness of the world, of its very soul, and to understand that the world was crying out for help. It took a devastation to understand the idea of mortal value, and it took a devastation to find hope.

Unlike cynicism, hopefulness is hard-earned, makes demands upon us, and can often feel like the most indefensible and lonely place on Earth. Hopefulness is not a neutral position — it is adversarial. It is the warrior emotion that can lay waste to cynicism.

Each redemptive or loving act, as small as you like — such as reading to your little boy, showing him something you love, singing him a song, or putting on his shoes — keeps the devil down in the hole. (Hope) says the world and its inhabitants have value, and are worth defending. It says the world is worth believing in. In time, we come to find that this is so.

Nick Cave

When you feel torn by the strain of the world, when people around you surrender to their shadow side, when cynicism sings its siren song, set your feet. Reach down deep. Heft the axe of hope. Slam its love-hardened blade into your anger, your despair, your fear. If you do, the sun will blaze through the rend in the darkness, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Frustrated by the State of the World? Here’s a Simple Action You Can Take

Sometimes looking back helps us move forward.

Given the state of the world today, it feels appropriate to revisit a topic I wrote about years ago—Barmen Today, a written declaration encouraging people to adopt a set of common core values. It was spearheaded in 2018 by my friend Susan Rau Stocker and some fellow students of the Living School at the Center for Action and Contemplation.

Some of you are feeling uneasy right now. You’re wondering, “Is this a political post? I’m not here for that.” I get it. I’m not a political junky myself. That said, I’ve learned that much of politics is a form of personal development on a larger, more communal scale. Part of my own mental, emotional, and spiritual development includes taking steps to support those same developments in others. Politics (laws, legislation, and the people that make them) plays a key role in that.

So what is the Barmen Today Declaration? It’s a statement that provides a simple way for you to stand with people who are suffering and marginalized. To make your voice heard in a call for unity and healing. To say that every human matters and has inherent dignity and value regardless of class, gender, orientation, race, or religion. To declare you stand for love vs. hate, compassion vs. apathy, and hope vs. fear. This is not a statement in favor of any particular political party or religion. This is a statement about the kind of world you want to live in and are willing to fight for.

I completely respect your right to any political viewpoint or position. I have family, friends, and readers all across the political spectrum. But within our healthy debates about pressing issues of our day, a common ground of decency, respect, humility, and openness will make those debates productive vs. destructive, exchanges that sharpen each other vs. wound each other.

I believe Barmen Today offers that common ground. You can read it below and decide for yourself. If you agree with it, I hope you’ll join me in signing. Live by its principles. Share the link or this post with others in your circle. Together, we can make a more compassionate and unified world, and help each other take another step toward Becoming Ourselves.

SIGN BARMEN TODAY HERE

BARMEN TODAY:
A CONTEMPORARY CONTEMPLATIVE DECLARATION

 
History is filled with moments which demand words and actions to define fundamental values and commitments.  Such moments require not only humble introspection consistent with contemplative practice but also the concurrent courage to speak prophetically, consistent with such practice.
 
In 1934 in Germany, at a time when humanity faced the threats of the tyrannical and evil power of Nazism, when the state church of Germany affirmed the actions and leadership of its nation to ensure its place of privilege in society, not all voices of opposition remained silent. Those signing the Barmen Declaration spoke out as an act of “divine obedience” in resistance to the church’s unconscionable moral compromise, proclaiming their allegiance to a Truth greater than temporal politics. 
 
Time has revealed the Barmen Declaration to be a significant confessional document, a historical statement defining fundamental values and commitments.


In contemporary America, we face parallel threats and affirmations as prominent and privileged leaders of America’s Christian churches choose to closely and publicly support the policies and actions of our nation’s leadership – policies and actions irreconcilable with the pursuit of peace and justice. Many of these policies and actions demean people of color, support hate-filled speech from white supremacists, ostracize gender minorities, demonize refugees and immigrants, and ignore climate change realities. These policies and actions embolden others to act similarly; polarize people within and beyond this nation; falsely cloak nationalism, fascism, and racism in words of universal beliefs and values, distorting and undermining the very bases of many faiths, not the least of which is what it means to be Christ-affirming.
 
As contemplatives of diverse ancestries, traditions, and faiths, we hold in common our witness to:
 
o    Love and compassion
o    Healing of division
o    Promotion and protection of human dignity
o    Stewardship of creation

In so holding, we honor and cherish the inherent Divinity existing within all of creation.
 
Our intention is to stand in unanimity and non-violent resistance to the very real threats to that which we hold in common. Recognizing that actions of tribalism, fascism, isolationism, and similar divisive initiatives are now happening throughout this world, as citizens of this nation, together, we seek to provide a common message to reject and resist the policies and actions of our nation and its leaders when they run counter to our common holdings.
 
As contemplatives of diverse faiths, we may and must speak with one voice in this matter today. “Silence in the face of evil is itself evil,” warned Dietrich Bonhoeffer. “Not to speak is to speak.  Not to act is to act.” Precisely because we want to remain faithful to both the Divine which we seek to understand and the Love which we seek to live, we choose to not be silent. We choose to speak and act.


We have a common message in this time of common need:
 
o   To the extent that our government affirms the basic dignity of all people and works deliberately to provide equal access to law, economic opportunity, education, healthcare, and a healthy environment, we will be loyal citizens. But to the extent it promotes factionalism, racism, fascism, unequal treatment in law enforcement, gender bias, or harm to the poor, the oppressed, the disadvantaged, the unwanted, the refugee, and the environment, we declare that we will non-violently reject and resist.
 
o   Our security comes not from gun ownership or military might; it does not come from oppression of the many for the enrichment of the few; it does not come from degrading others who are unlike ourselves. As contemplatives of many faiths, we seek the welfare of all our brothers and sisters, including those of differing perspectives and opinions. But to the extent that current policies and actions demand allegiance to the tyranny of the privileged and the few, we declare we will non-violently reject and resist.
 
o   We seek to speak the truth in love and to challenge the prevailing ideological and political convictions which do not align with the Divinity of love. We understand that free speech, pursuit of happy and healthy living, and freedom of religion lay in the Constitutional foundation of this nation’s history and in our hopes of securing and protecting the dignity of all humanity. We believe in the full and equal exercise of these rights by all people. To the degree that our leaders shun these rights and their equal exercise, we declare we will non-violently reject and resist.
 
o   We embrace separation of the powers of Church and State and urge all to continue to embrace it. And while individuals may vote as their conscience dictates, it is blatantly false to proclaim that any elected or appointed leader of this nation, including the President, represents more than a person charged with the duty to serve all of the people of this nation; it is blatantly false to proclaim that he is anointed or especially chosen of God to lead this nation; it is blatantly false to conclude that he is somehow above the constraints of moral and legal scrutiny. To such positions, we declare we will non-violently reject and resist.


Therefore, the undersigned hereby commit to avail themselves of contemplative, non-violent action and ask spiritual and faith leaders and followers across the United States to join us in works of “divine obedience” in resistance against current and future policies and actions which marginalize any human being of any color, class, race, religion, disability, or gender; which threaten the stewardship of creation; which embrace evil rather than good and hate rather than love. We ask you to reject and resist the words, policies, and actions of exclusion, denigration, hatred, fascism, and nationalism.
 
We invite all who are able to support Barmen Today: A Contemporary Contemplative Declaration to hold it in a circle of unity of faith, hope, and love, and to stand steadfast in non-violently rejecting and resisting until our nation chooses to serve all people and all of creation with the Divine love to which all are entitled.
 
Nothing has ever been more imperative.

SIGN BARMEN TODAY HERE

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