Developing a Better You

Category: Personal Development (Page 2 of 53)

A Fresh Perspective on Easter

It’s Easter.

While for many of us, Easter is a time of bunnies, chocolate eggs, and a celebration of the coming Spring, its roots are firmly in the Christian tradition I was raised in. What follows is an alternative perspective on Jesus by author and teacher Richard Rohr, one I have come to share. Regardless of where you are on the spiritual belief spectrum, I hope this fresh view helps you take another step toward Becoming Yourself. 

In Leviticus 16 we see the brilliant ritualization of what we now call scapegoating, and we should indeed feel sorry for the demonized goat. On the Day of Atonement, a priest laid hands on an “escaping” goat, placing all the sins of the Israelites from the previous year onto the animal. Then the goat was taken out into the wilderness and left there. And the people went home rejoicing, just as European Christians did after burning a supposed heretic at the stake or white Americans did after the lynching of Black men. Whenever the “sinner” is excluded, our ego is delighted and feels relieved and safe—for a while at least. Usually, the illusion only deepens and becomes catatonic, conditioned, and repetitive—because of course, scapegoating did not really work to remove the evil in the first place. (1)

As a Christian, I do believe that Jesus’ death was a historical breakthrough. It is no accident that Christians date history around his life. Afterward, we could never see things in the same way. The seeds of the gospel were forever planted into human history, but some followers of other religions have seemed to “water the seeds” more than many Christians. It seems to me the Christian West was so destabilized by the gospel that it had to go into “overdrive” to hide its shadow and cover its fear and its need to hate others. All this despite the teachings of its designated God! The central message of Jesus on love of enemies, forgiveness, and care for those at the bottom was supposed to make scapegoating virtually impossible and unthinkable.

Many Christians, with utter irony, worshipped Jesus the Scapegoat on Sundays and, on the other six days of the week, made scapegoats of Jews, Muslims, other Christian denominations, heretics, sinners, pagans, the poor, and almost anybody who was not like themselves. One would have thought that Christians who “gazed upon the one they had pierced” (John 19:37) would have gotten the message about how wrong domination, power, and hatred can be. The system has been utterly wrong about their own chosen God figure, yet they continue to trust the system.

Scapegoating depends on a rather sophisticated, but easily learned, ability to compartmentalize, to separate, to divide the world into the pure and the impure. Anthropologically, all religion begin with the creation of the “impure.” Very soon an entire moral system emerges, with taboos, punishments, fears, guilts, and even a priesthood to enforce it. It gives us a sense of order, control, and superiority, which is exactly with the ego wants and the small self demands.

The religious genius of Jesus is that he utterly refuses all debt codes, purity codes, and the searching for sinners. He refuses to divide the world into the pure and the impure, much to the chagrin of almost everybody—then and now. (2)

As shared in the March 26, 2024 Daily Meditation from the Center for Action and Contemplation (cac.org). [1] Adapted from Richard Rohr, Essential Teachings on Love, selected by Joelle Chase and Judy Traeger (Maryknoll, NY: Orbis Books, 2018), 128. [2] Adapted from Richard Rohr, The Wisdom Pattern: Order, Disorder, Reorder(Cincinnati, OH: Franciscan Media, 2001, 2020), 167–169. 

A Counterintuitive Path to Happiness—Embrace Suffering

I’ve always been fearful.

Along with my childhood fear of our creepy basement and my perfectly rational fear of sharks, a constant nemesis has been my fear of suffering. I hate it. I usually try to avoid it as much as possible and end it as quickly as I can.

But what if suffering is not only unavoidable but necessary for my happiness? 

The tendency to run away from suffering is there in every one of us. We think that by seeking pleasure we’ll avoid suffering. But this doesn’t work. It stunts our growth and our happiness. Happiness isn’t possible without understanding, compassion, and love. And love is not possible if we don’t understand our suffering and the other person’s suffering.

Getting in touch with suffering will help us cultivate compassion and love. Without understanding and love we can’t be happy, and we can’t make other people happy. We all have the seeds of compassion, forgiveness, joy, and nonfear in us. If we’re constantly trying to avoid suffering, there is no way for these seeds to grow.

Thich Nhat Hanh, Your True Home: The Everyday Wisdom of Thich Nhat Hanh

I was raised in the Christian tradition. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to include wisdom from other faiths into my beliefs, along with insight from non-faith-based worldviews. It has expanded, strengthened, and clarified my perspective, while showing me that many traditions say similar things in different ways. 

The above quote by master Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh is one of those insights shared across wisdom traditions—a life dedicated to the avoidance of personal suffering will not lead to happiness. Happiness is a by-product of a life well lived, including meaningful work and helping to alleviate the suffering of others.

This doesn’t mean we should seek suffering. Suffering has a way of finding us without our help. Ending our unnecessary or self-induced suffering is a worthy endeavor. But a life committed to avoiding suffering is doomed to produce anxiety not peace, fear not contentment, emptiness not meaning, sadness not hope. Consider our relationships, physical health, and careers—if we avoid hard conversations, uncomfortable workouts, and studying or practicing for our profession, the results will be disastrous and not produce the happiness we’re looking for.

So find your passion. Help others. Live with purpose. Face the suffering that your intentional living brings. You’ll experience greater peace, contentment, and joy, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself. 

Text excerpt from Your True Home: The Everyday Wisdom of Thich Nhat Hanh by Thich Nhat Hanh, p 81, compiled and edited by Melvin McLeod, Shambhala Publications 2011

A Reflection on Vegetables and Candy

And now for something completely different.

This week, I’m pausing my personal development focus to update you on another part of my writing life. THE BEAST OF SKULL ROCK, book four in my spooky monster mystery series MONSTERIOUS (Penguin Random House), just published. MONSTERIOUS books are short, can be read in any order, and are great for fans of Goosebumps, Stranger Things, or Five Nights at Freddy’s. While geared for ages 8 to 12, they are a fun read for anyone who enjoys a fast-pasted thriller with lots of action, humor, and heart. THE BEAST OF SKULL ROCK is about twelve-year-old twins who try to save their grandfather’s spooky museum from a rampaging werehyena. 

If you only know my personal development writing, the topics of my published books may seem strange. I think of the distinct parts of my writing life like vegetables and candy. I love to eat both. This personal development blog is my “writing vegetables”, while my published books are my “writing candy.” Both are a part of who I am.

This blog has always been free, and I’d like to keep it that way. If you find Becoming Yourself helpful, one way you can support me and this blog is to buy my books for yourself or a spooky story lover in your life. Your support would mean so much to me! All four current books in the MONSTERIOUS series are available in hardcover, paperback, audio, and e-book wherever books are sold. For more info and buy links, visit my website MattMcMann.com.

My author wife Lisa McMann and I are heading out on a national tour in Feb & March 2024. If we’re coming to your area, I would LOVE to meet you! Check the graphic above for dates and locations. You can find more info here.

Thanks much for your time on this diversion. I’ll be back next week with a personal development post. I appreciate you sharing the road with me as you work toward Becoming Yourself.

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