Becoming Yourself

Developing a Better You

Category: Personal Development (Page 25 of 58)

The Struggle to Grow During “In-between” Times

December 12, 2020 / / 2 Comments

So much of 2020 has felt like a waiting period. Waiting for coronavirus news. Waiting for restrictions to end. Waiting for the election. Waiting for a COVID vaccine. It’s been hard to feel any sense of progress. I was reminded of a post I wrote in June of 2019 about how to grow in such seasons. I hope you find it helpful on your journey toward Becoming Yourself.

I feel like I’m stuck in a waiting period. An “in-between” time. On the writing front, my first novel is out for submission to editors. I’ve turned in the rough draft of my second book to my agent, along with a concept pitch for my third to get his feedback. On the music side, I’m a few weeks away from my next worship leading gig, and the music isn’t posted yet so there’s nothing to work on. The place where I volunteer serving lunch to people struggling with homelessness recently had a fire which temporarily reduced both their seating capacity and their need for volunteers. So many of the areas where I invest my time and energy are on pause.

I feel a little lost. I like to be moving forward, growing, progressing. With a number of my normal productive outlets on hold, I’m struggling to find my footing. I find solace in knowing that all development cycles follow this pattern. Seasons of intense growth are followed by periods of apparent dormancy. The vibrancy of spring and summer yields to the mellowness of autumn and then to the silence of winter. It’s the rhythm of creation.

So my challenge is not to fight this season but to embrace it. To learn what this time period has to teach me: Patience. Introspection. Trust. Perspective. To allow myself to listen. To heed the call to “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10).

I’m coming to understand that this too can be a period of growth, but the progress will be more subtle, hidden below the surface. It’s a chance to look inside myself. To do a status check on how I’m really doing to a degree that I wouldn’t normally have the time, energy, or motivation to attempt.

In addition to being attentive to those deeper growth opportunities, I’m also trying to use this time to do those projects that usually get pushed aside. You know the type I’m talking about: Filing. Organizing. Deep cleaning. Future planning. Annual reviews. Over the last few days, I’ve updated the paperwork on all of our financial and insurance accounts in our estate folder, making sure that things are in order should I, or both Lisa and I, unexpectedly pass away. Not glamorous or enjoyable but important. It’s the kind of task I’ll be glad is off my mind when my more creative pursuits resume.

So how about you? Are you in a season of waiting? Are you feeling stuck “in-between”? What ways can you find to grow during this season? What are some tasks you can tackle now that you’ll be so glad you accomplished when “spring” comes back around? Take this opportunity to look inside and do some deeper interior work. Reflect. Journal. Read. Pray. Seek wise council from a trusted friend or a professional to help you work through whatever issues arise. Knock a few tasks off of your much procrastinated to-do list. If you do, you’ll not only feel better – you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Giving Thanks

November 28, 2020 / / 0 Comments

My good friend and fellow blogger Susan Stocker recently wrote such a compelling perspective on Thanksgiving that I decided to share it. I hope her words expand your view of the holiday and helps you take another step toward Becoming Yourself (you can subscribe to Susan’s wonderful blog here).

Can you believe we are fortunate enough to live in a country which sets aside a special day for THANKSGIVING??? Maybe that is the first thing for which we might be thankful! Of the 195 countries on this earth, only 17 have a celebrated Thanksgiving.

In 1621, fifty-three Pilgrims entertained ninety indigenous people who had helped them adapt to a new world, plant crops, learn to fish for strange and different fish, grind meal, make unusual crops eatable, build dwellings, hunt wildlife and, put simply, survive. For three days this assembly celebrated, feasted and learned from each other although everything about them was different, from language to customs to which fork to use for which course — just kidding about the forks! 

Next year our Thanksgiving will be the four hundredth such celebration. 

We might suppose this holiday has lasted because it’s built around food and eating ourselves into a coma. (Actually, I think that might be a modern addition to the original intent.) We might also assume that the giving of thanks was to God. That does not seem to be strictly true, either. These Pilgrims were English separatists who were breaking away from the church. Nonetheless, while they were surely thanking God, they also felt a need to thank the native peoples who had helped them live long enough for a celebration.

I think they were giving thanks to the American Indians who, instead of killing them, had welcomed these strange foreigners although earlier groups of Pilgrims, who had returned to Europe, had apparently kidnapped some of the “Indians” and taken them along back to England as slaves. Despite that, the inhabitants of the land — Native Americans never believed in such a concept as “owning” land — shared not only the land but their knowledge of how to live in harmony with the land.

That’s my understanding of how this whole gratitude day got started — gratuitously. The Native peoples asked nothing in return. They welcomed the refugees. “Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free,” was the invitation offered to the Pilgrims. We’ll help you find a home here. We’ll show you how to acclimate. “Mi casa y su casa.” My house is your house; my home is your home. “This land is your land, this land is my land.”

My friends… what do you think? How have we done four hundred years later in retaining the spirit of the celebration?

Maybe there’s a real opportunity for us this year when we are encouraged not to gather in the same way with the same crowd of people with the same limp phrases on our lips. Clearly, we need to sit out a year or a century and see if we can realign ourselves with the original meaning of a day of giving thanks. Maybe we can figure out a way to share with those who are different, diverse, disadvantaged, and disheartened. What a chance to reassess and re-design. What a possibility. 

I can’t help but believe nothing would please that God of ours more. I know that many of us, as parents ourselves, not THE parent that God is, just A parent, are pleased more than in any other way by watching our children live in harmony, happiness, gratitude toward each other and thankfulness with and for each other. Here are my three posing for a picture for their (thankful) mother.

Love, Susan

Susan Stocker is a blogger, novelist, and Marriage and Family Therapist with Masters degrees in Communication and Counseling. She served as a mental health ambassador to China in 1998 and has volunteered with the Alzheimer’s Association, American Cancer Society, and many other organizations. Her published works include Only Her Naked Courage (2013), Heart 1.5 (2013), The Many Faces of Anxiety (2013), The Many Faces of PTSD (2010), and Heart (1981), as well as her blog The Many Faces of PTSD (manyfacesofptsd.wordpress.com). She is on a lifelong journey toward Becoming Herself. You can contact her at sraustocker@yahoo.com.

How to Score a Triple Win for Yourself, Others and the World: Kindness

November 14, 2020 / / 0 Comments

I was tired.

Our recent move had left me frazzled as I worked my way through stacks of boxes and a long to-do list. With everything in our new condo finally in its place, I stared at the final pile – items to haul to Goodwill.

A large orange suitcase we hadn’t used in years caught my eye. It reminded me of the type used by the community of unhoused people who shelter each night alongside a building across the street. I wondered if I should offer it to one of them instead. While the idea felt intimidating, here I was in the comfort of this wonderful place while some of my new neighbors were sleeping on concrete in the cold a mere fifty yards away. Such a small act of kindness wasn’t asking much of me.

Swallowing my nerves, I grabbed the suitcase and headed outside. As I crossed the street, one gentleman eyed the suitcase eagerly. I said hello to the group and asked if this would be useful to anyone. The man I’d first seen excitedly raised his hand. I stepped toward him just as someone further down the row called, “We’ll take the suitcase!”

I looked over and my heart sank. A young couple sat beside a large pile of belongings with nothing to carry them in. My oversized wheeled suitcase would have been perfect for them. I apologized, explaining that the single man had asked first. Leaving the suitcase with the gentleman, I went over to the couple and offered some warm clothes and a blanket I’d brought with me. They accepted them gratefully.

Back in our condo, I told my wife Lisa what happened. She immediately went to our closet and came back with another roller suitcase, one we’d been planning to keep. She said it was smaller, but maybe it would still help. Second suitcase in tow, I headed back outside.

As I approached the group, I was surprised to see the large orange suitcase next to the young couple. I turned to the man I’d given it to and asked, “Did you give them the suitcase?” He nodded. “That was very kind of you,” I said as I gave him the second case.

I walked away in amazement. That gentleman, in a desperate situation, had been sincerely excited to receive the orange suitcase. He had no idea another one was coming, yet he gave his gift away to a couple who needed it more. His generosity was far greater than mine. I returned home feeling hopeful and energized, my weariness forgotten.

Kindness is a powerful thing. When we choose to act on it, kindness facilitates a rare win-win-win: it helps the person we’re kind to. It helps others when that person pays it forward. And it helps us.

Now more than ever, it’s easy to focus on the worst in people and our world, but take hope – there is still goodness, kindness, and generosity to be found. Choose to participate in it. Be a wildflower in a snowfield, a flickering candle guiding a weary traveler home.

What small act of kindness can you do today? Maybe it’s a phone call to a lonely relative or bringing food to an elderly neighbor. It could be writing a thank you note to an essential worker or sending flowers to loved one or donating to a charity or volunteering at your local food bank. Whatever it is, push through the stress and fatigue so many of us are feeling these days and choose be kind. If you do, you’ll help make a better world for others and take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

« Older posts Newer posts »

Never Miss a Post – Subscribe Here!

© 2026 Becoming Yourself

Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑