Developing a Better You

Category: Personal Development (Page 55 of 56)

Pokemon, a Blown Tire, and Bacon

It came out of nowhere. My wife and I were driving back from playing PokemonGo in a nearby park (yes, we’re still playing – it keeps us walking). A loud flapping sound started coming from the rear of the car. I pulled over and a quick check revealed the cause: a completely blown tire. We were close to home so I nursed the wounded SUV into our driveway.

With a sigh, I started unpacking the jack and spare tire, thinking of how my plans for the morning were now toast. By the time I changed the tire, cleaned up and went to the repair shop, the morning would be shot. I was frustrated and disappointed.

That’s when it hit me. I had a choice. Not a choice about having a blown tire. Not a choice about how I was going to spend my morning. I had a choice about how I was going to feel about it.

So I paused. Took a breath. Then I chose to feel grateful instead of frustrated. How? By thinking about the positives in the situation. We had a full blowout and no one got hurt. It happened on a side road vs. the highway. We were close to home so I was able to do the work in my own driveway. All things considered, this could have been a lot worse.

After my mental reset, I began the chore with a much better attitude, thinking of myself as fortunate instead of a victim of road hazard fate. While it didn’t make changing the tire fun, it made the experience a whole lot less painful.

As I was finishing, a good friend walked up. She had been stopping by just to drop something off (it was bacon – yep, she’s that kind of awesome). Since I was already out in the driveway, we got to talking and had an amazing conversation. She shared some pretty big life questions that she was wrestling with. I offered some things that I had learned in my struggles with those same questions. It seemed to really help her process. The discussion was very meaningful to me and our friendship is stronger for it.

Later, as I was reflecting on the morning’s events, I began thinking about everything that led to that beautiful conversation. Had we not blown the tire, I wouldn’t have been in the driveway and that deeper talk probably wouldn’t have happened. If I hadn’t decided to choose gratitude over frustration, I doubt I’d have been in the right head space to share anything helpful or hopeful with my friend. Something really good would have been missed, and I would have spent my morning feeling discouraged (and perhaps not Triple B’d – Blessed By Bacon).

You’re going to face blow outs in life. We all do. When they come, remember that you have the power to choose your attitude. And your attitude has a HUGE impact on how you feel. We can’t choose much of what happens to us but we can choose how we respond to it. Choose well and you’ll take another big step toward Becoming Yourself.

Temple Health

Let me say this right up front – I am in no way an expert on health, exercise or nutrition. There are many specialists in those fields doing some great writing so why am I bothering to post about those things? First, I offer this because my blog is about how I’m working on developing a better version of myself and that includes the physical. Second, I’ve found that if I’m not feeling good physically, I don’t have the focus, energy or motivation to work on other aspects of myself. Finally, I want to give an example of how a normal, non-expert like me works on these areas in my daily life.

This is just a brief overview of 4 key areas that I pay attention to in order to have overall Temple Health (your body is a temple right?). Each could be a series of posts in themselves but for now I’ll just give the 30,000 foot view on some practices that I use to help keep me feeling good and enjoying life:

1. STRETCHING – I know. It sounds unbelievably basic. But don’t underestimate the power of a good daily stretch. I start off with about 4 minutes of stretching every morning. It’s a great way to wake up, get your blood flowing and prepare you for the day. Stretching even releases endorphins, your body’s natural pain reliever and mood booster! It also helps prevent injury, especially as you age. I was recently reminded of the importance of this as I was stretching backstage before a performance (I sing and play in a band as a church music pastor). A friend of mine was shocked that I could touch my toes. He never stretches and has a hard time reaching past his knees. He’s an injury waiting to happen.

No serious expertise is needed at intro levels. Just remember to stretch slowly and smoothly, gradually increasing the range of each stretch over time. Come up with your own stretching routine or find one you like on youtube (for an example click here).

2. MODERATE EXERCISE – Note that I said moderate. If you want to train for a marathon or the Olympics, awesome. That’s not my goal. I’m just looking for a small amount of regular exercise to promote my overall health and keep me feeling good. For me it’s running. While basketball or hiking is more fun when I have the chance, running is my go to form of exercise. It’s cheap, fast and I can do it almost anywhere. I run a 1.75 mile course through my neighborhood 5 mornings a week. I’ve been doing it for over 25 years.

When I run, I have more energy, my thinking is sharper and I’m happier. When I don’t run, I feel sluggish, my brain feels foggy and I’m grouchy. Look for something you enjoy and commit to sticking with it for 30 days. You’ll feel the difference.

3. DIET – I was eating a fairly generic American diet until a few years ago when my wife started doing some research on the latest findings in nutrition. Based on what she learned we decided to go low carb. I stopped drinking soda, started using organic stevia powder instead of sugar and cut way back on processed foods. In those early days, an unfortunate proof that I was addicted to carbs and sugar came in the form of what’s known in low carb circles as The Carb Flu. I literally felt like I had the flu for a few days as my body detoxed from all the processed junk I had been eating for years. After the transition, I quickly dropped that stubborn 10 lbs I’d been unsuccessfully trying to lose and I feel SO much better overall.Again, I don’t claim to be a nutritional expert. I’m just sharing what has helped me. For better info, check out my daughter Kennedy’s awesome food and nutrition blog at kennedypm.com. If you’re interested in more info on going low carb, a video lecture called The Food Revolution was a very helpful and entertaining introduction to low carb eating as well as the books Grain Brain by Dr. David Perlmutter and Cholesterol Clarity by Jimmy Moore. When in doubt go with things that are natural while avoiding processed foods and sugars. There’s no one right way to eat so find what works for you.

4. SLEEP – I first learned the importance of sleep in college. I was a vocal performance major and my instructor taught me how important proper rest was for my voice. So even with boisterous roommates and early classes I learned to organize my schedule to get 8 hrs a night. With a few season of life exceptions, I’ve kept that practice up ever since. It was definitely harder when our kids were little. Our son had colic as a baby and was up screaming 6 times a night for the first 3 months. My wife and I were walking zombies.

I used to struggle with feeling like sleeping 8 hrs a night was wasting too much time. I’ve come to learn that I actually get more accomplished in less time when I’m properly rested than when I’m burning the candle at both ends. I also feel better and am happier which is a bonus both for me and the people who have to be around me (Hi honey! 🙂 ). Not everyone needs the same amount of sleep so find your sweet spot and work your schedule around it. It will pay big dividends.

So which of these 4 Temple Health areas could use some attention in your life? Pick one to experiment with and go for it! It will be a great next step on your way to Becoming Yourself.

For Squeaky who inspired this post

Extraneous Questions and the Meaning of Life

My classmate was trying to be clever. He thought he could stump my dad, one of the smartest people you’ll ever meet. It didn’t work. That said, I’m grateful he tried because what my father said in response shapes my life to this day.

We were in my high school calculus class and my father was the teacher. Yep, I had my dad for calculus. Physics and Algebra II as well. It made things a bit challenging socially at times but I wouldn’t have it any other way. He was and is the best teacher I’ve ever known.

My dad teaching chess to my son Kilian

One of the things you need to know about my dad is that he isn’t a great teacher just because he’s smart (after his Masters degree in math he went on to get a PhD in philosophy just for fun). He’s a great teacher because his main concern is helping his students learn how to think. The subject matter is immaterial. Math, science, wood shop, basket weaving, it doesn’t matter. To him all subjects are just spare parts to be used to build a well developed Thinking Machine, a structured brain equipped to help his students process whatever complex issues life throws their way. Would that there were more like him.

One evidence of this approach that I observed during my high school years was Extraneous Questions Day. Every other Monday, instead of unpacking the next daunting calculus equation, he would attempt to answer questions from the class. About anything. Whatever was on our adolescent minds. Topics ranged from sex and dating to college and career paths to basketball and auto mechanics. We loved it. And not just because it was a reprieve from a math induced coma. He treated us like adults and valued our contributions to the discussions.  We felt respected which made us respect him in return.

My father and me at the Grand Canyon

It was on one such Extraneous Questions Day that I witnessed my classmate’s unsuccessful attempt to best my father. The class had grown silent for a moment as we digested whatever nugget of wisdom my dad had just offered us. That’s when my friend lifted his head and threw out the next question – “What is the meaning of life?”

He laughed as he said it, not really taking it seriously. We could all tell by his delivery that he didn’t really expect an answer. But my dad didn’t laugh. He looked thoughtful for a few seconds. Then he asked us to think back to the absolute best day of our lives, the one that stood out above all the rest. What made it great? A moment later he encouraged us to remember the most terrible day of our lives. Why was it so painful?

After giving us a minute of quiet pondering, he said something like this: “I’m guessing that for most of us, both our best days and our worst days had a lot to do with other people, people who are significant to us. Maybe that gives us a clue to the question ‘What is the meaning of life?’. I believe the answer is relationships. For me, the meaning of life can be found in our relationships with ourselves, with others, and with God.”

We were silent. It was a drop the mic moment. As young as we were, my friends and I all somehow knew that we were just handed something weighty, something important, even if we weren’t able to fully grasp why.

Over the last 30 years I’ve often thought about that day. I’ve come to see the truth in those profoundly simple words. While I’m still unpacking their depths, I’m pretty sure my dad was right. I’ve come to believe, like my father before me, that the meaning of life is found in relationships. Our relationships with ourselves, with others, and, for me as a person of faith, with God.

This age old question is bigger than any one post, than any one story. We’re just scratching the surface here. If you decide to keep reading these musings, we’ll dig deeper together in the days ahead. I hope you’ll find it helpful on your journey toward Becoming Yourself.

The greatest teacher I know – my dad, Keith McMann

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