Becoming Yourself

Developing a Better You

Category: Personal Development (Page 7 of 56)

The Only New Year’s Resolution You’ll Ever Need

January 6, 2024 / / 0 Comments

Sometimes the simplest things are the most profound.

That’s what I thought when read my friend Tom Leveen’s recent author newsletter. He’s a fabulous writer and an insightful thinker. I hope you’re as inspired as I am by his words, and that they help you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.



You only need one resolution. THE ONLY NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION YOU’LL EVER NEED:
  
Do one pushup, with a straight back, chest to ground, perfect form.
 
Can’t do that? Do one pushup from your knees.
 
Can’t do that? Do one push-off from the wall.
 
(Can’t do that? Call your doctor and make an appointment now, you are in a bad, bad way.)
 
Then tomorrow, do it again. Do it every day until you get comfortable. Then do two. When two becomes comfortable, do three.
 
Can you already bust out 50 pushups? Cool. Bust out 51.
 
Can you walk comfortably 10 minutes? Walk 11.
 
Can you jog for 60 minutes straight? Jog 61.
 
Do you need to reduce your added sugar intake? (Spoiler alert: Yes.) Total up all your added grams of sugar on January 1, and on January 2, eat 1 gram less. When that’s comfortable, eat 2 grams less.
 
You do not need to join a gym. Save your money. You do not need expensive running shoes. Save your money. All you really need is your body, and a clear space on the floor about the size of a prison cell.
 
The only resolution you ever need to make is to get 1% better every day. For the rest of your life.
 
Do that, and I swear to you you’ll be stunned at how many goals you’ve crushed this time next year. Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, financial, creative. Whatever.
 
That is how I went from weighing 120 pounds and in the worst depression of my life to weighing more than 150 pounds (lean muscle!) and completing 13.5 hours of a physical crucible coached by retired Navy SEALs.

 

When a 60+ year-old retired combat veteran Master Chief who just an hour previous was screaming in your ear to GET OFF YOUR KNEES, LEVEN! shakes your hand, looks you in the eye, and says, “You did it! I’m proud of you!” you feel that shit in your soul, and it lasts forever.
 
The first time you bust out a Murph (1 mile run, 100 pull ups, 200 pushups, 300 squats, and another 1 mile run) in 75 minutes, you realize your old way of thinking about limitations is over.
 
The first time you bang out 50 pushups in 2 minutes, you start to re-evaluate your creative, artistic, and business goals.
 
The first time you knock out 5,000 words of a novel in one day, you realize the old paradigms don’t apply anymore.

 

Do not compare yourself to anyone else. You are only competing against your own baseline to get 1% better today than yesterday at your goal. 

That’s it. You got this. 1% better than yesterday.
 
Thank you so much for being here. I’ve got some great stories to tell you in 2024, I can’t wait to share them with you!

Take care, 
~ Tom

P.S.
My linktree is the best place to keep up with all my projects – YA novels, comics, horror stories, audiobooks and podcasts…all of it! I’ve started two new serials as well.

linktr.ee/tomleveen

Tom Leveen is an award-winning novelist and Bram Stoker Award finalist who has written for the comic book series SPAWN and fiction for the BattleTech RPG. For Tom’s YA, horror, and more, check out linktr.ee/tomleveen

How to Snap Out of a Funk

December 16, 2023 / / 0 Comments

I love learning from my kids.

My daughter Kennedy McMann recently started a podcast called Sidebar, where she shares stories about her life and acting career, along with insights she’s gaining on her own personal development journey. 

In a recent episode, she talked about her struggles with anxiety and techniques she uses to snap out of funks. I found them so helpful that I wanted to share them with you (for deeper insights delivered with her trademark charm, check out Kennedy’s wonderful podcast here).

Graphic for Kennedy’s podcast. Art by my son Kilian McMann of Great Raven Design Co

1. TAKE A SOCIAL MEDIA BREAK

We’ve all heard the studies and statistics. Social media often leads to negative emotions that stem from comparing our lives with whitewashed versions of other people’s lives. It might be body image, homes, vacations, family dynamics, wealth, fill in the blank. Stepping away, even deleting the apps for a week or two, can help clear away those negative emotions. I’ve recently reduced my own social media usage and have felt the positive effects.

2. DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR HANDS

I love my career as a writer, but it produces few physical, tangible results. The moments I get to hold finished books in my hands are magical, but those are few and far between. That’s why I resonated with Kennedy’s recommendation to do or create something practical with your hands. It can be a hobby or a task. Kennedy has taken up cross-stitch and painting with watercolors. I recently spent time cleaning and doing maintenance on one of our rental houses to prep it for sale. Though I was initially dreading the work, I found it surprisingly satisfying. Seeing the immediate visible results of my efforts in a cleaner and better house lifted my mood.

3. MOVE YOUR BODY

We all know the benefits of physical exercise. My five-minute morning stretching routine has grown over time to fifteen minutes, and now includes a light workout with 20 pound dumbbells (Kennedy taught me some simple weight training tips). Why? Because it really does make me feel better (After I’m done, not during. Unfortunately, I’m not one of those people who enjoy the workout process). On the fun-while-doing side, I recently took a long hike in a cold pine forest with my daughter and son-in-law. It felt fantastic to be moving in a brisk and beautiful setting.

4. CONNECT WITH SOMEONE

As Kennedy points out in her podcast, this effort, along with all the others, can often feel like the last thing you want to do when you’re in a funk. You don’t feel like doing anything, even the things you know will help. But forcing yourself over the hump and connecting with someone for coffee or on a walk or even a video chat can really raise your spirits. You’ll get extra benefit if you’re honest and share that you’re feeling down. Simply admitting your struggles to another person somehow makes heavy times feel a little lighter. And you may find the other person understands, empathizes, and supports you. My weekly lunches with my accountability partner and monthly poker nights with longtime friends are life-giving connections I always look forward to.

How are you feeling these days? Are you in a funk? Take a social media break. Do something with your hands. Move your body. Connect with someone. If you do, the gray clouds will begin to part, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself. 

What Comes After Thanksgiving? A Helpful Holiday Perspective

December 2, 2023 / / 0 Comments

What comes after Thanksgiving?

That’s the question recently posed by my dear friend and fellow writer Susan Rau Stocker in her wonderful blog The Many Faces of PTSD. Her insightful answer below gave me a much needed perspective now that the holiday season is in full swing. I hope it increases your enjoyment of the holidays as you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

What comes after Thanksgiving?

I know: We’re tempted to say Christmas. But Christmas is a month away, and here we are at the end of November, “the gray month,” with more than we can possibly get done between now and December 25th. So, what comes after Thanksgiving? STRESS. WORRY. AGGRAVATION. SPENDING. COMPARING OURSELVES TO OTHERS. TV SHOWS AND ADS OF PERFECT COUPLES, PERFECT FAMILIES, PERFECT HOMES, PERFECT VACATIONS, PERFECT CHRISTMAS TREES AND . . . RELAXED PEOPLE.

I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking more along the lines of the Grinch. This seems like a great time of year to take the dog and head off for the hills. “Come on, Max. We’ll be back in March. Maybe April.”

It’s not that I don’t love Christmas. I do love Christmas. I just don’t love what’s happened to it. Actually, it’s the same thing that has happened to weddings, funerals, birthdays, homes, cars, clothes and so much else. Everything seems to have out-grown itself. Almost everything is super-sized and as inflated as a balloon. Almost nothing has retained its meaning and simplicity.

How can we keep our heads about us in the midst of “holiday” rage? Road rage is only the beginning of the ways stress zaps our kindness to each other. Does it seem to you that most of life has become competitive instead of cooperative?

So, how do we keep it simple and real while those around us are in a race for the greatest and best, the snazziest and most elegant, the flashiest and finest? And do we need reasons to concentrate on simplicity? I know a pervasive, underlying reason: good health — mental, physical, psychological, and spiritual.

We need to disengage from the racing subway where we’re holding on to the straps for dear life. We need to sit on the mountaintop, if only in our imaginations, and stare out at the cosmos. We need to remember how little we are and how big the world is. When we look across the ocean or the mountains or the star-studded sky, why do we feel so much better? Because we regain our perspective. All is well. God’s in Her/His/Their Heaven. I have a deck of “Angel Cards” and one of them says: “”God keeps all the planets in the sky. Surely God is holding you, too.” I LOVE that thought. I guess if Jupiter and Mars are hanging in orbit, we humans can stay in our lanes, also.

What comes after Thanksgiving? A chance to re-position ourselves in a sane, safe, sweet, simple life we re-create, re-new, and rejoice in. Love, Susan

Susan Stocker is a blogger, novelist, and Marriage and Family Therapist with Masters degrees in Communication and Counseling. She served as a mental health ambassador to China in 1998 and has volunteered with the Alzheimer’s Association, American Cancer Society, and many other organizations. Her published works include Only Her Naked Courage (2013), Heart 1.5 (2013), The Many Faces of Anxiety (2013), The Many Faces of PTSD (2010), and Heart (1981), as well as her blog The Many Faces of PTSD (manyfacesofptsd.wordpress.com). She is on a lifelong journey toward Becoming Herself. You can contact her at sraustocker@yahoo.com.

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