Becoming Yourself

Developing a Better You

Category: Nature (Page 1 of 4)

What Dangling Thirty Feet in the Air Taught Me About Trust

November 4, 2023 / / 4 Comments

It was a really dumb thing to do. In my defense, I was standing on a small wooden platform 30 feet up a tree. Given that I’m not a fan of heights, the logical part of my brain was not fully engaged. I was on a high ropes course, the kind that has zip lines, wire walks, and other obstacle course elements suspended far above the forest floor. It’s basically a torture device.

So I stood there with a thin wire running from a harness at my waist to an equally thin wire above my head. And I was supposed to step off the platform. I could’ve backed out, of course. But that would have meant a humiliating climb back down the 30 foot ladder in front of the group of students I was supposedly leading on this excursion. Not a very attractive alternative.

Who’s dumb idea was this trip anyway? I thought. Then I remembered it was my dumb idea. Helpful.

I suddenly came up with a brilliant plan. It was genius. I would simply wrap the support line connecting me to the overhead wire around my hand. That way, if the line somehow magically disconnected from my harness, I would have a good grip and save myself from plunging to my death.

So it was with a sigh of relief that I stepped off the platform. And then the full weight of my 6’ 3” frame cranked the support line tight around my hand. My palm felt like it was pinned under a semi. Gasping in pain and realizing my stupidity, I wrenched my hand free. Dangling unceremoniously from a cable that could have easily held a small elephant, one clear thought penetrated the fog of pain and humiliation – I should have trusted the wire.

Reflecting back, I realized that the cause of my anxiety and pain was not actually fear. It was lack of trust. The reason I was knock-kneed on the platform and in serious pain after stepping off it was because I didn’t trust the line to hold me. I should have. The camp had a great reputation and safety record, the facilitators were trained and experienced, and the equipment was tested and tried. Even so, I chose not to trust.

Have you ever tried to hedge your bets? Play both sides? Put one foot into a fluid situation while attempting to keep the other firmly on solid ground? How did that work out for you? Obviously there are times and situations where it pays to be cautious. But there are also times when we just have to choose to trust. To step out. To risk. To dive in. With a relationship. With a business venture. With an unexpected opportunity.

So how do you know the difference? How can you tell when to be appropriately cautious and when to take the risk? By asking yourself one simple question – is this worthy of my trust? For me on that ropes course, it was. I paid the price for not going all in.

As you look at your life, where are you holding back in giving trust? With another person? Yourself? Your abilities? Your dreams? Are they worthy of trust? If so, what would it mean to take the risk and step off the platform? What good could come of it, for you and for others? Choose wisely, then take the leap. If you do, you’ll take another big step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published July 27, 2019

Embrace Your Elephant: Find Peace with a Pachyderm

September 3, 2022 / / 0 Comments

Sometimes a piece of art just hits me. While looking for pictures to decorate our apartment, I came across one that made me smile. It was whimsical and playful, yet also thought provoking. Here it is:

Elephant and Dog Meditate at Summer Night by Mike Kiev
(purchase here)

There’s just something about this painting of a dog and an elephant sitting together, gazing over moonlit waters on a summer night, that I absolutely love. I’m a fan of quirky things, nature, and the color blue, so on those levels, this art piece has a lot of appeal to me.

But I also love contemplation. Just sitting and thinking. I have an evening ritual where I sit on our balcony, look at the night sky above a nearby park, and reflect. I meditate on simple things, like what I did that day, and bigger things, like who I am, why I’m here, and what life is all about.

One of the reasons those times are meaningful is that I feel like the dog in the painting. That I’m not alone in my nighttime routine. I sense an invisible Elephant sitting beside me, staring out into the starlit sky. I feel it’s presence surrounding me, comforting me, whispering to me, guiding me. Something bigger, stronger, and wiser, keeping me company and joining me in quiet reflection.

I call my elephant God. You may call it Mother Nature, a cosmic force, or your higher power. You may call it nothing at all and believe that the universe is a purely physical, naturalistic system. My goal is not to argue in favor of a specific definition of a spiritual component to the universe, but I would like to propose this:

HAVING AN ELEPHANT MAKES LIFE BETTER

Why do I say that? Because I’ve discovered over the course of my life that having Someone bigger, higher, stronger, and wiser than me helps. A lot. It gives me peace. Security. Comfort. Guidance. Companionship. Belonging. Meaning. Love. Joy. Of course, an Elephant is not the only place to find these things, but it is the deepest, truest, and most lasting source of them that I’ve ever found.

I’ve learned that when life is all up to me, I’m not enough. Not to become who I want to be anyway. I need help for that. I’m in no way saying that I think I’m bad or unworthy. Far from it. I believe in and love myself deeply. I have huge respect for the power of the human spirit and what I can accomplish when I set my will to it.

That said, I find the thought that I’m my own highest power is more than a little depressing. I know me. If I’m IT, then I’m in trouble. As wonderful as I am, I know I have weaknesses, flaws, and limitations that will prevent me from being the person I really want to be. From living the life I truly want to live. I need help.

That’s where my Elephant comes in. A Helper. A Guide. A Friend. A Comforter. A Provider. A Protector. A whisper in my spirit that assures me I’m not alone, and that in all the craziness of life, someone much bigger than me has their hands on the wheel. That gives me a lot of comfort and hope.

You may feel that makes me weak. That I’m unwilling to face the cold, cruel reality that we are nothing but a cosmic accident, alone in a mindless, uncaring universe. Perhaps you’re right. Maybe there is nothing more. No-one, certainly not me, can prove the existence of God, a higher power, or whatever a person may call their Elephant. But no-one can disprove the Elephant either. I believe in God because of deeply personal experiences I’ve had and rational arguments I find compelling. Enumerating those is beyond the scope of this post, but if I’m using my belief in an Elephant to achieve a more meaningful, joyful life, then I’m in good company with people a lot smarter than I am. That’s a choice I’m happy to make.

So what about you? Do you have an Elephant? Someone or Something bigger than yourself that you believe in? A higher power that allows you to face life with a hope, peace, and security that can prove elusive when you choose to go it alone?

If you’re intrigued, gaze up at the night sky. Open your mind and heart to God, the Cosmos, Mother Nature, whatever you want to call it. Breathe a prayer. A request for awareness. For ears to hear, eyes to see, a heart to feel. Taste and see. You just may sense an Elephant at your side. If you do, you’ll take a giant leap toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published March 16, 2019.

The Struggle to Grow During “In-between” Times

December 12, 2020 / / 2 Comments

So much of 2020 has felt like a waiting period. Waiting for coronavirus news. Waiting for restrictions to end. Waiting for the election. Waiting for a COVID vaccine. It’s been hard to feel any sense of progress. I was reminded of a post I wrote in June of 2019 about how to grow in such seasons. I hope you find it helpful on your journey toward Becoming Yourself.

I feel like I’m stuck in a waiting period. An “in-between” time. On the writing front, my first novel is out for submission to editors. I’ve turned in the rough draft of my second book to my agent, along with a concept pitch for my third to get his feedback. On the music side, I’m a few weeks away from my next worship leading gig, and the music isn’t posted yet so there’s nothing to work on. The place where I volunteer serving lunch to people struggling with homelessness recently had a fire which temporarily reduced both their seating capacity and their need for volunteers. So many of the areas where I invest my time and energy are on pause.

I feel a little lost. I like to be moving forward, growing, progressing. With a number of my normal productive outlets on hold, I’m struggling to find my footing. I find solace in knowing that all development cycles follow this pattern. Seasons of intense growth are followed by periods of apparent dormancy. The vibrancy of spring and summer yields to the mellowness of autumn and then to the silence of winter. It’s the rhythm of creation.

So my challenge is not to fight this season but to embrace it. To learn what this time period has to teach me: Patience. Introspection. Trust. Perspective. To allow myself to listen. To heed the call to “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10).

I’m coming to understand that this too can be a period of growth, but the progress will be more subtle, hidden below the surface. It’s a chance to look inside myself. To do a status check on how I’m really doing to a degree that I wouldn’t normally have the time, energy, or motivation to attempt.

In addition to being attentive to those deeper growth opportunities, I’m also trying to use this time to do those projects that usually get pushed aside. You know the type I’m talking about: Filing. Organizing. Deep cleaning. Future planning. Annual reviews. Over the last few days, I’ve updated the paperwork on all of our financial and insurance accounts in our estate folder, making sure that things are in order should I, or both Lisa and I, unexpectedly pass away. Not glamorous or enjoyable but important. It’s the kind of task I’ll be glad is off my mind when my more creative pursuits resume.

So how about you? Are you in a season of waiting? Are you feeling stuck “in-between”? What ways can you find to grow during this season? What are some tasks you can tackle now that you’ll be so glad you accomplished when “spring” comes back around? Take this opportunity to look inside and do some deeper interior work. Reflect. Journal. Read. Pray. Seek wise council from a trusted friend or a professional to help you work through whatever issues arise. Knock a few tasks off of your much procrastinated to-do list. If you do, you’ll not only feel better – you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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