Becoming Yourself

Developing a Better You

Category: Spirit (Page 16 of 51)

Photo by Tim Alex on Unsplash

Downton Abbey and the Meaning of Life

June 18, 2022 / / 0 Comments

“What is a weekend?”

If that quote makes you smile, you’re probably a fan of Downton Abbey. The popular PBS series about the English aristocratic Crawley family and the servants who worked for them ran for six seasons and spawned two feature films.

I recently saw the movie Downton Abbey: A New Era. As usual, I enjoyed the sweeping cinematography, the elegant dialogue, and intriguing story lines. But I came away with an unexpectedly powerful reminder of what I believe to be the meaning of life:

Relationships.

Without spoiling the plot, the tightly knit family and staff go through a wide gamut of experiences—weddings, deaths, windfalls, tragedies, surprises—and a litany of emotions—joy, sorrow, disappointment, grief, hope, love. But through it all, rich or poor, old or young, conservative or liberal, outgoing or reserved, what mattered most in the end was the quality of the relationships each person had formed. 

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

I sat in my car after the movie and asked myself a hard question—was I investing enough time and energy in the important relationships in my life? In my family, in my close friends, in God? When moments of triumph and tragedy come, will those strong ties be there to sweeten my celebrations and ease my sorrows? It isn’t a question of whether or not those people be physically present, but will our relationships have the requisite emotional depth for them to truly enter into those moments with me? The kind of depth that only comes with effort and intentionality?

The thought of coming to the joyful and painful milestones in my life with regret over underdeveloped relationships haunted me. I drove away with a renewed commitment to deepen my investment in my family, my friends, and God.

Photo by Ryan Holloway on Unsplash

So how about you? Would you agree that the true meaning of life is found in relationships? No matter your answer, relationships are at least of significant importance to most of us. How would you rate yours? Answer honestly. Decide which relationships are of utmost value. Invest in them practically with your time, energy, and effort. If you do, you’ll avoid crushing regret, and have a richer, more satisfying life, as you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

The Unexpected Challenge After Achieving a Dream

June 4, 2022 / / 0 Comments

Every eye in the room was on me.

I was sitting beside New York Times bestsellers. Authors who had been in the industry for decades. Writers with dozens of books to their names. And people were listening to me talk about being an author.

I’ve shared in recent posts about achieving my dream of becoming a published author. My debut books don’t hit the shelves until May of 2023, yet I’d still been invited to participate in author panels at this year’s big comic con event Phoenix Fan Fusion. For the first time, fans of books and aspiring authors were looking to me for entertainment, info on the publishing industry, and writing advice. It was a surreal and wonderful experience.

It was also unexpectedly challenging. As I sat on stage with my name in big bold letters on the table in front of me, alongside far more seasoned and successful authors, I was smacked with a huge case of impostor syndrome. The feeling that I was an impersonator. That I didn’t belong. That I would open my mouth and everyone would realize that inviting me had been a terrible mistake.

I had a choice to make—back down or stand up. Submit to my insecurities or step into the spotlight. I took a deep breath, remembered the hard road that brought me here, and settled in. I’m a long way from being where some of my fellow authors are, but I’m also a long way from where I was when I sat in the audience, dreaming of someday being on stage.

The weekend at the convention was a gift in so many ways. I met wonderful authors I now call friends. I gained so much experience participating in panels. And I was able to give advice and encouragement to aspiring authors like so many generous published authors have done for me over the years.

That experience ended with an unexpected high note. After the convention, I tweeted two of my literary heroes, Neil Gaiman (Coraline) and R. L. Stine (Goosebumps), thanking them for their wonderful writing courses on the streaming service MasterClass. I shared how their coaching helped me land a four book deal for my spooky middle grade monster mystery series Monsterious with Penguin Random House. To my shock and delight, they both personally replied with congratulations.

The journey of personal development is never complete. Success is not reaching a destination so much as advancing along your Dream Road. When you hit a milestone, celebrate it. Savor your well-earned moment in the sun. But don’t be surprised if another challenge awaits. Own your accomplishment. Step into your space. Believe in yourself. Have humility. Show gratitude. Acknowledge the help of others. Don’t deflect praise or shy away from your place. Enjoy it. Use your newfound position to help others along their own path. If you do, you’ll find a rich and satisfying life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

The Lesson of the Shared Table

May 14, 2022 / / 0 Comments

“Hey, would you like to eat with us?”

I was sitting with a friend in an Ethiopian restaurant. The tall, rough-looking man who had spoken was standing at the next table and looking past us toward the entrance. A moment later, another man approached, shook the tall man’s hand, then introduced himself to the tall man and his friend. The newcomer thanked them for the invitation, then the three of them sat and began chatting. They placed their order and soon a single large platter was delivered to their table. In true Ethiopian style, they shared their food from a common serving plate.

Later in the meal, the man who had come alone left for the restroom. While he was gone, the tall man say to his companion, “Thanks for being okay with me inviting that guy to join us.” His friend replied, “Yeah man, I could do this all day.”

I was fascinated. Invite a stranger to sit with you in a restaurant? Share a common plate with them? The idea had never occurred to me. I found myself envying the courage of the man who made the offer and the one who accepted it.

In my last post, I wrote that living with a “let them come” attitude is difficult for me, as my somewhat timid nature makes diving into new experiences intimidating. What I saw in that restaurant was a beautiful example of the type of “seize the moment” living I’m trying to learn.

My wife and I unintentionally had a similar experience years ago in Italy. We wandered into a restaurant with a small seating area. The hostess promptly led us to a table with four chairs, two of which were already occupied. We hesitated, thinking there was a mistake, but the hostess just smiled and gestured toward the two empty seats. After an awkward moment, the seated couple quickly invited us to join them.

We exchanged greetings and learned they were also Americans on vacation. We swapped travel stories and were soon laughing together. What started off as an uncomfortable surprise turned into one of the most pleasant and memorable evenings of our trip.

As I think back on those experiences, I wonder why I still hesitate to be so bold. So free. To let those moments come. Living with this level of intentionally comes with risks to be sure, but it’s also a path to growth and unexpected joy. That’s the lesson of the shared table.

So how about you? Are you willing to step outside your comfort zone? To try something new? Keep your eyes open. Seize moments, big and small. Say yes. If you do, you’ll feel a revitalizing wind blow through your life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

« Older posts Newer posts »

Never Miss a Post – Subscribe Here!

© 2025 Becoming Yourself

Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑