Developing a Better You

Category: Spirit (Page 21 of 51)

Want a Better Life? Balance Your Quadrants

Picture yourself as a square divided into four quadrants labeled Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual.

A quick way to boost your personal growth is to think of what exercises, habits, practices or routines you have for each area. How do you regularly stretch your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual muscles?

Don’t worry if you struggle to come up with something for one or more areas. It takes time to find routines for each quadrant that work with both your schedule and your interest level. If you already have a habit in an area, celebrate it! That makes balancing your life that much easier.

While a rough balance between quadrants is the goal, each of is inclined toward one or more of them. For me, it’s Spiritual. You might be more developed in Physical or Mental. That’s totally fine. Think of a stool—as long as each of the four legs is stable, you’re sitting on a dependable foundation. It’s when one or more of them is weak or missing that you’re probably headed for a tumble.

So what types of practices might work for you in each area?

PHYSICAL

My morning routine is ten minutes of overall stretching with a few strengthening exercises to address my lower back issues. Then I walk up and down the stairs of my condo building for cardio. Three or four times a week, my wife and I do about fifteen minutes of yoga as well (Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube). You may prefer running, walking, going to the gym, basketball, tennis, swimming, or hiking. The goal is not to make the Olympics—just find some kind of modest physical activity that you enjoy and that works with your schedule. Once you have a routine, you’ll find yourself thinking clearer and having more energy throughout the day.

MENTAL

My current practice is regularly playing chess against a computer (chess.com) and taking writing classes on MasterClass.com. In the past, I’ve done brain games on lumosity.com. You might try sudoko, crossword puzzles, strategy games or learning a foreign language. They all help enhance your mental acuity.

EMOTIONAL

To tone my emotional muscles, I regularly donate plasma and volunteer at a food pantry. Serving others not only helps them, it gives me an emotional boost and makes me more grateful for what I have. Visiting museums, traveling and spending time with friends also fills my emotional tank. For you it could be gardening, walking, a hobby or volunteering. Find what’s uniquely energizing to you.

SPIRITUAL

My morning routine consists of ten minutes of meditation, ten minutes of spiritual growth reading (often the writings of Richard Rohr and Henri Nouwen sent via daily emails), and twenty minutes talking with God. I then try to maintain a mindful awareness of God throughout the day. Before bed, I spend five to ten minutes reflecting on any insights I gained and expressing gratitude for good things that happened that day. Once a week, I meet with my long time friend and accountability partner to share our spiritual successes and struggles. Your spiritual practices might include meditation, yoga, attending a religious service, time in nature or reading sacred writings like the Quran, the Talmud, or the Bible.

So how are your quadrants? Which ones feel stable and which might need a little tending? Be honest, but not hard on yourself. Celebrate your successes. Find simple practices that work for you. If you do, you’ll enjoy a more fulfilling, balanced life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Want to Achieve Your Dreams? Just Keep Showing Up

The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.

thomas edison

Since childhood, I’ve dreamed of becoming a published author.

Growing up, I read voraciously and enjoyed creative writing. I thought how amazing it would be if someday other people enjoyed my stories the way I loved those penned by the authors I idolized. But in high school, I decided to pursue music. Three years ago, I left a twenty-six year career as a profession musician to chase my long-delayed writing dream.

Things started off surprisingly well. Having my wife Lisa McMann, a highly successful NY Times bestselling author, as my writing coach gave me a huge leg up. The first book I wrote, which I thought would be a throw-away practice novel, landed me a great literary agent. After he helped me improve the manuscript, the first editor he pitched it to liked it. After I did a revised draft for her, she took it to her team to build support. I was amazed. This was going to happen!

And then it didn’t. Her team had mixed feelings about my book, and she passed on it. While disappointed, I was still optimistic. If it got that close on the first try, surely my book would quickly sell to someone else, right? Wrong. All the editors in the next round said no. Then all the editors in in the round after that. A year later, I had a list of rejections as long as my arm.

Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.

harriet beecher stowe

Following my wife’s advice, I had continued writing during that submission period and had finished my second novel. My agent thought my writing had improved, so he stopped pitching my first book and began sending out my second. Again, nothing but a steady stream of rejections came my way. I struggled to maintain any hope as I regularly read the announcements of book deals for other authors. How would my writing ever stand out? How could I ever break through? The odds seemed insurmountable.

Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.

Winston Churchill

My published author friends were incredibly encouraging. Kevin Sands shared that his first three books did nothing before his hugely popular Blackthorn Key series. He told me, “Perseverance, more than anything, is what wins the day.” Anna-Marie McLemore told me that their first seven books didn’t sell. But they kept going, kept pursuing their dream. Time magazine recently named their book Blanca and Roja among the top 100 fantasy novels of all time and When the Moon Was Ours as one of the the world’s most influential young adult novels.

You just can’t beat the person who won’t give up.

babe ruth

So I kept going. Kept watching author craft videos. Kept learning. Kept writing. Kept editing. I wrote a third novel, then a fourth, which was my agent’s favorite. He paused sending out my second book and submitted my fourth to an editor.

A few weeks later, it happened. I got the call. I had an offer. Now I have my first book deal with Penguin Random House Publishers (that’s all I able to share publicly at this point; I’ll post more details when I can). I’m going to be a published author!

It always seems impossible until it’s done.

nelson mandela

So what’s your dream? Is it a career change, mastering a new skill, or going on an adventure in an exotic destination? Have you been told it’s impossible? That you’re not good enough, smart enough, or talented enough? Is it a passing fancy or a deep, long-lasting desire? How brightly does your passion burn? Map a course. Take the first step. Build a habit. When you fall, get up. Start again. Focus on your goal. Your dream may be just around the corner. The outcome is not guaranteed, but what in life is? Fortune favors those who keep showing up. At worst, you’ll live a life in pursuit of your dream. At best, it will come true. Either way, you’ll take giant leaps toward Becoming Yourself.

Find Meaning in Your Pain with a Broken Window

During a recent road trip, I was walking the back stairwell of our hotel when this window caught my eye.

Either by accident or with intent, something had hit the window hard enough to break it, but not enough to make it collapse. At first, I thought it was a shame that this lovely window had been disfigured.

But then I looked closer. The intricate pattern of cracks was actually really interesting. Beautiful even. The wandering lines created a thousand individual pieces that formed one unique whole, like an uncolored stained glass window. It was not what it had been—the impact had changed it into something new.

That got me thinking about my own life. When an unexpected event, accident or tragedy comes along, my first reaction is often despair. This is not what I wanted. I see a hassle, a mistake, a broken dream. The beautiful life picture I’d imagined is now covered with cracks. Without my consent, my plan has been changed. I’ve been changed.

But on a closer look, usually after some time has passed, I often see something else. Something good. While they are not what I would have chosen, my scars tell a powerful story. Make a beautiful pattern. If I let them, they make me wiser, kinder, more compassionate. They allow me to understand, connect with and help others who have had their lives broken too.

So when life throws a rock against your heart’s window, nurse your wounds. Allow yourself to grieve. Say a grateful goodbye to the you that was. Then look deeper. See the beauty in your scars. Allow them to make you better instead of bitter. Let them show, and share your story. Reach out to those who find themselves similarly broken. If you do, you’ll find meaning in your pain and take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

« Older posts Newer posts »

© 2025 Becoming Yourself

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑