Developing a Better You

Category: Spirit (Page 21 of 50)

Find Meaning in Your Pain with a Broken Window

During a recent road trip, I was walking the back stairwell of our hotel when this window caught my eye.

Either by accident or with intent, something had hit the window hard enough to break it, but not enough to make it collapse. At first, I thought it was a shame that this lovely window had been disfigured.

But then I looked closer. The intricate pattern of cracks was actually really interesting. Beautiful even. The wandering lines created a thousand individual pieces that formed one unique whole, like an uncolored stained glass window. It was not what it had been—the impact had changed it into something new.

That got me thinking about my own life. When an unexpected event, accident or tragedy comes along, my first reaction is often despair. This is not what I wanted. I see a hassle, a mistake, a broken dream. The beautiful life picture I’d imagined is now covered with cracks. Without my consent, my plan has been changed. I’ve been changed.

But on a closer look, usually after some time has passed, I often see something else. Something good. While they are not what I would have chosen, my scars tell a powerful story. Make a beautiful pattern. If I let them, they make me wiser, kinder, more compassionate. They allow me to understand, connect with and help others who have had their lives broken too.

So when life throws a rock against your heart’s window, nurse your wounds. Allow yourself to grieve. Say a grateful goodbye to the you that was. Then look deeper. See the beauty in your scars. Allow them to make you better instead of bitter. Let them show, and share your story. Reach out to those who find themselves similarly broken. If you do, you’ll find meaning in your pain and take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

How to Be Happy: Someone to Love, Something to Do, Something to Look Forward To

Sometimes numbers matter.

For my 150th post, I’ve decided to share about a much more important number—30. That’s how many years my wife Lisa and I have been married (thanks for putting up with me this long, buddy).

To celebrate, we decided to buy my father-in-law’s 2007 Pontiac G6 convertible in Michigan and drive it home to Arizona. We lived happily without a vehicle for the last three-and-a-half years, but the time felt right to own one again. Lisa has always wanted a convertible, and this little red beauty is a fun symbol of a great thirty-year run.

We turned the road trip into a book tour for Lisa’s upcoming novel, Clarice the Brave. It’s a middle-grade seafaring adventure about sibling mice who get separated and vow to find each other. This is the best book she’s ever written, and as she’s a many-times-over NY Times bestselling author of 26 books, that’s saying something. Along with stopping at numerous books stores, we hit national parks and other landmarks along with way.

This anniversary trip reminds me of an old quote by Alexander Chalmers about three things humans need to be happy: someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to. While not an exhaustive list, I think that holds true. It certainly did in this case. The trip celebrated our love for each other. Planning it together gave us both something meaningful to do. And the adventure was something we really looked forward to. Not a bad recipe for happiness.

Could you use a happiness boost? Look at the three parts of the recipe. Do you have someone to love? This could be a good friend, close family member, even a pet. Do you have something meaningful to do? It might be your career, a hobby you’re passionate about or helping others. Do you have something to look forward to? Maybe it’s a get away or spending time with a loved one or the start or completion of an important goal. Take inventory. Be honest with what you find. Do something to jumpstart one of those areas today. If you do, your happiness will begin to rise, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

A Few of My Favorite Personal Development Books

In last week’s post, therapist Susan Stocker offered suggestions on beating the blues by taking inventory of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. As a follow up, I’m sharing a favorite personal development book of mine from each category:

PHYSICAL

Cholesterol Clarity: What the HDL is Wrong with My Numbers? by Jimmy Moore with Eric C. Westman, MD

As high cholesterol and heart issues run in my family, this is a topic of personal interest. Moore and Westman turn the traditionally understood relationship between cholesterol and heart health on its head. With layman’s language, this is a very readable and compelling book for anyone looking for a more complete understanding of this very common health issue.

MENTAL

30-Second Philosophies, edited by Barry Loewer

This unique book takes fifty of the world’s most important philosophical ideas and explains them in one page each. Clear language and bold graphics help even a novice grasp these concepts that most of us have heard about but never really understood. Reading these passages will help you think about your life and the world in new and better ways.

EMOTIONAL

The Little Book of Hygge: Danish Secrets to Happy Living by Meik Wiking

Why are the Danish people consistently ranked as the happiest in the world? This small, compulsively readable book answers that question. Author Meik Wiking, the CEO of The Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen, balances sharing his research findings with colorful anecdotes and insights into Danish culture. After reading this, don’t be surprised if you find yourself buying a new sweater, lighting candles, and inviting friends over for comfort food in front of the fireplace.

SPIRITUAL

The Diary of an Old Soul by George MacDonald

George MacDonald (1824-1905) is widely considered one of the most influential and important writers of the Victorian era. Written in 1880, this collection of MacDonald’s poetic prayers is one of the most beautiful and compelling books I’ve ever read. Organized with a short prayer for each day of the year, my edition also has blank pages for doodling or journaling your own thoughts and prayers in response to his. This is a book I’ve returned to again and again when I need a balm for my soul.

So how about you? Do any of these books spark your interest? Pick one up today. What are some of your favorite personal development books? Share them in the comment section below. For fun, I’ve included a video tour of my former closet library from my YouTube channel. Thanks so much for being a part of this community. I hope these recommendations encourage, equip, and empower you on your journey to Becoming Yourself.

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