Developing a Better You

Category: Spirit (Page 29 of 49)

Three People We All Need in Our Lives

I heard the panic in my son’s voice. Water from a burst pipe was rapidly flooding his bathroom and he didn’t know what to do. Trying to stay calm on the phone, I guided him to the shutoff valve behind the toilet. It was jammed. While my wife did an online speed search for a plumber, I directed him to stuff towels in the doorway then head outside in search of the main water shutoff to the house. After a few excruciating minutes, he managed to stop the gushing.

Once we all took a moment to recover, my son said he was really glad I answered his call and knew what to do. I told him that in twenty-five years of home ownership, I’ve had my share of plumbing crises and had learned from painful experience.

Unexpected calamity is a part of life. Things are going along smoothly, then WHAM! Life smacks us in the head. I recently got an email from a friend who learned her husband’s brain cancer had returned. Another friend with young kids has been diagnosed with COVID-19. Yet another is dealing with a wayward teenage child. I’m sure you could fill in your own story. In those moments, it’s really good to have someone to call for help, advice, and support.

That reminds me of three people from Christian history. Paul, author of much of the Bible’s New Testament and a principle founder of the Church, was considered a wise elder. Barnabas, whose name means “son of encouragement,” was known as a supportive friend. Timothy was trained by Paul and characterized as a promising young leader.

From those historical figures was derived the idea that we all need a Paul, a Barnabas, and a Timothy in our lives. Someone to mentor us, someone to support us, and someone we’re building into. My dad and my friend Susan are “Pauls” in my life. My wife Lisa and friend Ty are key members of my “Barnabas” group. And along with attempting to mentor my kids and a few others, the main reason I write this blog is to pass on some of my hard-won life lessons to any “Timothys” out there.

So how about you? Do you have a Paul in your life to call when unexpected crises hit? Do you have a Barnabas who can encourage you and walk with you during those seasons of struggle? And are you available for a Timothy when their life goes sideways? If you have these three people in place, be grateful. If not, be on the lookout. You’ll be glad you did, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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What I’ve Learned About Myself from Writing 100 Personal Development Posts

This is my 100th personal development blog post. I took some time to reflect on the journey to this personal milestone, and here are a few things that stood out:

1. I’m GRATEFUL

I’m grateful to you who read. Some of you have been with me from the beginning and stuck with me through my stumbling. While there’s a cathartic journaling aspect to my writing, I would not have come this far without you walking beside me. I am deeply thankful for you.

2. I’m HUMBLED

Some of you have shared that what I’ve written about my struggles and what I’ve learned has helped you on your own journey. Those comments surprise me every time. They are the wind in my sails that keeps me writing. Each of our lives are unique, yet when we share our very personal stories, I’m amazed how often they strike a universal chord in all of us. Our similarities shine brighter than our differences.

3. I’m PROUD

I’m proud of myself for starting this blog when I was afraid (Do I have anything meaningful to say? Who would read it? What if I embarrass myself and fail?) and for sticking with it, putting my thoughts into the world 100 times.

4. I’m SAFE

If you’ve read much of what I’ve written here, you’ll know that I find my deepest hope, meaning, and identity in my relationship with God. As I look back over the life experiences I’ve cataloged in these 100 posts, I feel a deep sense of safety. Not an isolation from pain, doubt, and struggle, but a realization that I’m held in the midst of them. That I never face them alone. I have confidence and peace that in the end, whatever twists my path may take, God has my back, and ultimately everything is going to be okay.

So how about you? Occasionally taking a few quiet moments to simply look back on your life is a great personal development tool. If you reflect on the last few years of your life, what stands out? What significant milestones have you experienced, both good and bad? What lessons have they taught you about yourself, others, the world, and, if applicable to you, God? How can remembering and applying those lessons help you today? I pray those reflections bring you peace, meaning, and hope as they propel you on your journey toward Becoming Yourself.

The Life Lesson I Learned from “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles” – Have a Point!

In the classic comedy movie Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, Steve Martin delivers this biting line to John Candy: “When you’re telling these little stories, here’s a good idea – have a point!”

That got me thinking about my own life. Does it “have a point”? After a lot of trial and error, I can honestly say that I’ve found one – to know and be known, love and be loved, enjoy and be enjoyed by God. I believe that if I do nothing other than that, my life will have a satisfying “point.”

I completely understand that for some of you my “point” sounds unappealing or even foolish. I respect that. There are certainly many other options. Your “point” could be serving others. Family and friends. Succeeding at your career. Growing your bank account. Traveling the world. Experiencing pleasure.

Those things are all good, and I pursue them regularly. But whenever I’ve made anything other than God “the point” of my life, it eventually left me with a dissatisfaction, a restlessness, an itch I couldn’t scratch. Why is that? Maybe it’s because I was using good things in a way they were never intended, expecting more of them than they were designed to give. The philosopher Augustine put it this way: “You have made us for Yourself, oh Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You.” As others have framed it, humans were created with a God-shaped hole in our hearts that only God can fill. That may not describe your experience, but I’ve found it to be true for me.

I’m either a cosmic accident or I’m not. There’s either a universal design or there isn’t. Either God exists or God doesn’t. Neither side of the God debate can be proven conclusively. I believe there are compelling arguments and smart people on both sides. If these are topics you’re interested in, my advice is to familiarize yourself with the rational cases for and against, factor in your personal experience, then decide for yourself. (If you’re looking for a resource, youtube is filled with debates and lectures by the likes of Ravi Zacharias and William Lane Craig on belief in God and Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins representing an atheistic perspective).

Regardless of how you identify spiritually, I think we all wrestle with the same questions. Where does your heart find rest? What is your life’s “point”? Answer well and you’ll find peace, satisfaction, and meaning. And you’ll take a giant step toward Becoming Yourself.

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