As we rush headlong into the final stage of a long election cycle here in the United States, I’ve been lamenting how our heated political debates often obscure the underlying values and concepts that form the heart of the matter. I was reminded of a document I discovered and wrote about in July of 2019 that helped clarify my thinking on this issue. I share that post again today in hopes that you find it helpful in this season.
My dad nailed me with one question.
As we often do when we get together, my father and I were engaged in a lively discussion. He’s a retired high school teacher and college professor with a PhD in philosophy. I inherited my dad’s love for deep discussion and debate. I was arguing the merits of a particular approach to addressing a social justice issue and, as he’s done many times before, he caused me to rethink my position with a profound but simple question:
“What’s your goal?”
That memory came back to me today as I debated whether or not to write this post. I came across something in my morning reading that I feel is really important, but sharing it here would be different than the kinds of things I normal write about at Becoming Yourself. I decided to use my dad’s clarifying “What’s your goal?” question to help me decide.
What is my goal in writing this blog? Generically, it’s to help people reach their personal development goals. More specifically, my goal is to help others become a better emotional, mental, and spiritual version of themselves.
But why? Why is it good or important to become a better version of yourself? What are the benefits that makes the hard work of personal development worthwhile? I believe we work on ourselves for two reasons:
- So that we can have a better quality of life
- So that we can more effectively help others have a better quality of life
Today’s post squarely aligns with that second reason – helping others. What I’m about to challenge you to do may not directly improve your life, though I would argue that we are all in this together, and when we help others, we help ourselves in the long run. What I’m encouraging you to do right now is this:
Read and, if you agree with it, sign the Barmen Today Declaration.
What is the Barmen Today Declaration? The link above gives more detail, but in short, it’s a statement that provides a simple way for you to stand with people who are suffering and marginalized. A simple way for you to make your voice heard in a call for unity and healing. A simple way for you to say every human matters and has inherent dignity and value regardless of class, gender, orientation, race, or religion. A simple way for you to say you stand for love vs. hate, compassion vs. apathy, and hope vs. fear.
This is not a statement in favor of any particular political party or religion. This is a statement about the kind of world you want to live in and are willing to fight for.
I know that most of you will be tempted, like I was, to blow this off. You’re busy with a lot of demands on your time. I get it. My challenge to you is simply this: Click the link. Give 5 minutes to read the declaration and, like I did, sign it. If you do, then when you hear the latest reports of division and suffering in your news feeds today, you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that you gave just a little bit of your time to stand for a better world. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.
I originally published this post in August of 2019, but given everything that 2020 has thrown at us so far, I found it coming back to my mind. My deep wish is that it helps you find hope in these troubled times.
What is it about hope that has such a profound impact on us? There are a lot of emotional experiences we desire like love, joy, and peace. What makes hope so important?
1. CASUAL HOPES – these are our day to day, common hopes. I hope my favorite team makes the playoffs. I hope this restaurant has cheesecake. I hope I can see my friends Friday night. These hopes we readily acknowledge to ourselves and others.
3.
1. We need to keep our hopes in their PROPER PLACE – all of those hopes listed above are normal and healthy. But if we allow a casual hope, like our favorite team making the playoffs, to become a precious hope, we’re headed for trouble. If your team being edged out of the post-season puts you in a deep depression, that’s a clear sign that you’ve allowed a casual hope to slip out of its proper place. The same is true with a precious hope becoming an ultimate one. I have a precious hope that my adult children will continue to make good choices. That said, whether they do or don’t will not determine my self-worth or my sense of my life having meaning.
2. We need to anchor our ultimate hopes in SOMETHING WORTHY – we choose where we place our hopes. For our casual hopes, choosing which restaurant to go to is not a big deal. For our precious hopes, choosing which doctor to trust with analyzing our biopsy results is more significant. We want to have confidence in the worthiness our choice. Then there are ultimate hopes. I believe that where we choose to anchor our ultimate hopes is one of the most important decisions we will ever make. Choosing a worthy place to rest them is critical to becoming our True Selves, avoiding unnecessary pain, and enjoying the fullest experience of life.
For me, the most worthy anchor for my ultimate hopes is my relationship with God. God fulfills my hopes for lasting meaning, for being deeply valued for who I am, and for a positive future beyond this life.
As I shared in a recent post (
So in honor of that somewhat radical idea, I’m giving you an opportunity to laugh today. Instead of reading more of my words, I encourage you to read those of a traveler who many years ago had a comically bad day and was banned from a hotel. He got the ban lifted through owning his mistakes with humility and humor. You can read his story 
So whatever it is that tickles your funny bone – streaming a favorite sitcom, reading the comics, or watching wipeout videos on Youtube – schedule some laughter into your daily routine. If you do, you’ll take another happy step toward Becoming Yourself.