Developing a Better You

Category: Spirit (Page 35 of 49)

What I Learned from (Almost) Passing Out in a Hair Salon

It was mostly my own stupidity plus a little bad luck.

Last week, I had scheduled plenty of time to go home after my 11:45 am blood donation to eat a meal before my 3:00 pm haircut. Both locations are just down the street from my Sacramento apartment and easily walkable. I’d donate blood, stop home to eat and rest, then head to my haircut. No problem.

Things didn’t work out that way. When I arrived to donate, the nurse asked if I would be willing to do a double donation, simultaneously giving both platelets and plasma. She said it would take about 90 minutes. As that would still give me plenty of time before my haircut, I agreed. But the blood donation center was implementing a new software system which slowed down the check in process. Then once I had been in the chair for about 15 minutes, my left arm stopped cooperating causing an issue with the blood draw. The nurse said she’d need to switch to my right arm and start the process over again.

By the time I was actually finished donating, it was 2:30 pm. With the required 15 minute recovery period in the waiting area, I no longer had time to get a meal before my 3:00 pm haircut. I knew it wasn’t ideal, but I loaded up on the available free snacks to get me through until I got home.

As the haircut began, I started feeling a little unwell. No big deal, I thought, I’ll just gut it out. Then I began to sweat. A lot. Hair clippings were sticking to my face. I became lightheaded and nauseous. It was at that moment I realized I was in trouble. The affects of the double donation and lack of food had hit me hard, but my options seemed limited. How do you stop in the middle of a haircut? I let the stylist know what was happening and asked her to go as fast as she could.

The staff at the salon was awesome. While my stylist kicked it into overdrive, other people brought me some water and mini candy canes from the front counter. I chewed them, desperately trying to get some sugar into my system. Then my vision started to go. I could only make out blurry patches of light through the blackness as I struggled to stay upright in the chair. They offered to call 911 as my stylist finished, but I said I just needed to lie down. Two staff members helped me out of the chair and over to a nearby bench. Still unable to see clearly, I used voice command on my phone to call my wife Lisa to come and help me walk the half a block home.

My stylist stayed with me while a different staff person brought some chocolate covered pretzels from the break room. It was like handing someone dying of thirst a glass of ice water. I inhaled the whole bag. Slowly my vision came back, and with an incredible sense of relief, I felt a semblance of normalcy return. My wife arrived a few minutes later, paid the bill (including a generous tip), and after I’d offered my sincerest expressions of gratitude to all, she helped me home.

As I think back on that experience, I find myself feeling extremely grateful. Not for the sickness, or the sense of being trapped, or the embarrassment, but for the incredible generosity and kindness of a group of strangers. So often today, we hear how divided we all are, how people are selfish or mean-spirited. But that wasn’t what I saw that day. These people rallied around me, cared for me, and in no way made me feel ashamed for inconveniencing them or for making the very poor decision to not reschedule my appointment. That encounter strengthened my belief in basic human goodness.

I also realized how much I like to think of myself as independent and self-sufficient, able to handle most things on my own. That experience humbled me and reminded me that there are times in life when I really need to rely on people. That I can’t make it on my own. That on this crazy journey we call life, I need help from others just like they need help from me.

So as you go through your day, remember that sometimes you’re going to need help. It might be the physical variety, like getting sick in a hair salon. It might be emotional support, like needing a hug or someone to talk to. It could be mental assistance, like getting advice on a difficult decision. Or it could be spiritual aid, like trying to find a deeper sense of meaning or identity. Whatever type of help you need, reach out for it. Embrace it. Be grateful for it. Allow others to experience the gift of being needed. Return the favor. And be encouraged by the basic goodness of others. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Actor Rainn Wilson’s ONE Big Question May Surprise You – and Change Your Life

Sometimes an author’s words express your heart and experience better than you could yourself. That was true for me recently when I came across this excerpt from a book I’d read years ago called The Sacred Romance:

“The Sacred Romance calls to us every moment of our lives. It whispers to us on the wind, invites us through the laughter of good friends, reaches out to us through the touch of someone we love. We’ve heard it in our favorite music, sensed it at the birth of our first child, been drawn to it while watching the shimmer of a sunset on the ocean. It is even present in times of great personal suffering—the illness of a child, the loss of a marriage, the death of a friend. Something calls to us through experiences like these and rouses an inconsolable longing deep within our heart, wakening in us a yearning for intimacy, beauty, and adventure.

This longing is the most powerful part of any human personality. It fuels our search for meaning, for wholeness, for a sense of being truly alive. However we may describe this deep desire, it is the most important thing about us, our heart of hearts, the passion of our life. And the voice that calls to us in this place is none other than the voice of God.”

The Sacred Romance by John Eldredge and Brent Curtis

You may not believe in God. I get that position, and I respect it. Regardless of where you fall on the faith spectrum, I’m guessing that most of us can relate to the feelings and experiences described above.

Author Rob Bell

So that begs the question – is that “voice that calls to us” in those moments God or not? As actor Rainn Wilson (Dwight from the TV show “The Office”) said in a fascinating interview on author Rob Bell’s recent podcast, it is THE question – does God exist? Why is that so important? Because the answer affects every part of our lives. Everything else flows from it. Either we’re a random byproduct of matter and energy or we’re not. Either we’re alone in the universe or we’re not. Either there’s a guiding creative force or there’s not. Either there’s an overarching purpose to our existence or there’s not. Our answer to the God question impacts our relationships, how we spend our time, our money, our energy. It influences our work, our play, our search for meaning. It alters our hope for the future or lack of it. It speaks to our sense of identity, our self worth, and what happens when we die. Everything.

So how do we know? There are some rational, logical arguments for God’s existence that I find compelling, like the Moral Law Argument (God makes sense of the existence of objective moral law), the Teleological Argument (God makes sense of the existence of the universe), and the Fine Tuning Argument (God makes sense of the delicate balance of physical laws that allow life to exist) among others. That said, they aren’t proofs. No one can conclusively prove (or disprove) God’s existence.

To believe in God requires an acknowledgment that there are other ways of discovering truth than the logical reasoning of the mind. It’s how we believe in the existence of love. Though love can’t be proven rationally, we see compelling evidence of it and feel the truth of it in our bones. That’s what the above passage from The Sacred Romance is saying – there are feelings and experiences common to virtually all of us that point toward the existence of some type of Higher Power, one that, as crazy as it may sound to our rational mind at times, created us, loves us, and wants a relationship with us.

If that’s true, as I personally believe, then we will only become our highest, most fulfilled selves, only live our most satisfying and joyful lives, when we align ourselves with that reality. We become the best version of ourselves when we acknowledge and work on our spiritual side, as well as our mental, emotional, and physical aspects.

So how about you? Are you developing your spiritual side? Are you open to the existence of a Guiding Spirit, Life Force, Love, Allah, God, or whatever you may call it? Not from a fear of hell or some other punitive punishment, but from a desire to truly thrive, to become your best self, and to experience life to the fullest.

Reason and faith are two sides of the same coin – you need both to discover Truth. Choosing to utilize only your rational mind and reject faith as a means of understanding reality is like viewing a panoramic nature scene with one eye closed or running a race on one leg. You can do it, but you’re missing out on the full experience.

In those deep moments of wonder, awe, pain, mystery, and intimacy, are you in tune with what The Sacred Romance calls “the voice of God”? Will you respond to it? I sincerely believe your best life is found by answering “yes” to that question. Think it through. Weigh the decision for yourself. Experiment with developing your spiritual side. Meditate. Pray. Read spiritual writings. Try out a temple, mosque, or church. Talk with someone who has a spiritual life you respect. If you do, you’ll take another huge step toward Becoming Yourself.

What Being Lost in the Zambian Wilderness Taught Me About Achieving Goals

I was lost in the middle of bush country in Zambia. I had traveled to the African nation with a church group to work with AIDS orphans. As a part of that effort, we were taking food, blankets, and other supplies to a remote village that had been devastated by the disease.

The day started calmly enough. I climbed into the back of the open bed truck with the rest of my group and perched on sacks of mealie meal as we pulled away from the guest house outside the capitol of Lusaka. Soon the paved road turned to a dirt road which led to a two track which became open wilderness.

We had traveled far across the rolling landscape, winding our way through huge clumps of brush when our driver stopped and got out of the truck. I glanced around expectantly, but there was literally nothing in sight. Our Zambian driver looked at us and proclaimed, “We lost. I go find us.” And with that, he ran off and disappeared.

After getting over the initial shock of that statement, we laughed and talked about how strange it was to be plucked from our suburban American comfort to find ourselves in the middle of the African bush. But as ten minutes turned to fifteen and our driver had not returned, the reality of our situation began to sink in. None of us had any idea where we were. The winding path we’d taken through the brush had left us all completely disoriented. There was no cell service. We became quiet and tense. I don’t think I was alone in silently questioning the wisdom of my decision to go on this journey.

Much to our collective relief, our driver appeared a short time later and declared that he had reoriented himself. We were once again off through the wilderness.

Soon I heard the unexpected sound of singing in the distance. It grew louder as we crested a hill and saw a small village laid out before us. Coming from the circle of mud and thatch huts was line of women, children, and old men, singing and waving their arms in greeting. The joy on their faces was palpable. I was stunned. No president has ever received a better welcome. Even as I write this, my eyes are filling with tears at that memory from sixteen years ago.

We pulled into a small open area among the huts and began passing out the supplies. Women took heavy bags of mealie meal, a course flour made from maize, and cried out with joy. Children laughed and yelled exuberantly as we tossed out soccer balls. Old men clutched the blankets we handed them and cried.

I will never forget that day. Something deep inside of me shifted, changed, grew. The world shrunk for me, and I recognized strangers on the other side of the globe as my sisters, grandparents, nieces and nephews. I had come to a place I’d never been geographically and found a place I’d never been within myself.

I share that story to ask you this – who do you want to become? What is your personal development goal? Where do you want to see yourself in five years? Ten? At the end of your life? Reaching those goals will require going places you’ve never been, and sometimes you’re going to get lost along the way. You’ll find yourself sitting in the back of a truck, in the middle of the wilderness, wondering where you are and if this journey was such a good idea.

Embrace it. Fight past the fear and the allure of your familiar comforts. Becoming someone worth being sometimes means hacking your way through unmarked territory, along a path less traveled. But it’s worth it. You’re worth it. Do it. You’ll find footprints of those who’ve gone before you, signposts to help guide you. Step out. Like Bilbo leaving his safe hobbit hole to follow a wizard and some unruly dwarves, take up the adventure. Your future self, and those you inspire along the way, will thank you for it. You’ll take another giant step toward Becoming Yourself.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

From “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost

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