Developing a Better You

Category: Spirit (Page 38 of 51)

The Importance of Making – and Breaking – Routine

I’m a routine person. I thrive in a steady, consistent pattern. As a work-from-home writer, my daily schedule consists of morning centering (mediation / prayer / reading), working out, email, first writing session, afternoon break (eating, watching TV, taking a walk, household tasks), second writing session, reading, sleep. I even wear the same “uniform” of Gryffindor pajama pants and a Call of the Wild sweatshirt. I love it.

Hiking across from the Log Castle, Whidbey Island, WA

While having a routine saves me time and mental / emotional energy by eliminating a variety of daily decisions, I’ve found it healthy to regularly break my habits. Like taking a day off each week. Fridays are my Sabbath, where I free myself from normal responsibilities and take time to just rest and play (for more on the benefits of Sabbath, see my post here).

On an occasional basis, more dramatic breaks are needed. While I know how good they are for me, I often struggle to take them. It’s a hassle. The planning. The expense. The effort. The coordination. It’s so much easier just to stay home and stick with my routine. So four months ago when an author friend reached out to my wife Lisa and me with the idea of going on a writing retreat with some other authors, I had a choice to make – was I going to embrace the work involved and take advantage of this opportunity or stay in my comfortable routine? Before I could talk myself out of it, we committed.

The Log Castle, photo credit vrbo.com

Fast forward to now. As I write this, I’m sitting in a recliner in a Log Castle (yes, that’s actually what it’s called on vrbo.com, and yes, that’s an accurate description) on Whidbey Island off the coast of Seattle gazing out at the water watching seals swim by. It’s every bit as wonderful as you might imagine. We’re here with three other writers, old friends and new, all working on our various books, sharing meals together, talking about the joys and trials of author life, playing poker, and generally having a lovely, relaxing, and productive time. I can feel myself recharging in a way that just doesn’t happen in my normal routine. The planning, expense, and effort have been more than worth it.

The Log Castle tower bedroom, photo credit vrbo.com

What’s your relationship with routine? Is it a friend or a foe? Does it come naturally or is it a struggle? Look at your life and save yourself some hassle – automate the important and ritualize the regular. But once that time and energy saving routine is in place, schedule times to break it. You’ll be glad you did. And you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

The Most Impactful Choice You’ll Make This (or any other) Year: Randomness, Distraction, or Story?

I believe most people choose one of the three following ways of living:

1. EMBRACE RANDOMNESS – We are a cosmic accident, the by-product of time + matter + energy + chance. There is no overall meaning or purpose to life, rather we each find our own meaning however we can. We live out our lives as temporary residents of a chaotic universe, then we die and pass into the nothingness from which we came. The universe rolls on unaware and uncaring. The best way to live is to embrace this hard truth.

2. EMBRACE DISTRACTION – Don’t think about the big questions – where did I come from? Why am I here? Where am I going? They are either uninteresting, unsettling, or unknowable. Stay busy – work, play, deal with problems, sleep. Stay distracted – TV, social media, eating, drinking, music, hobbies, relationships. Use them to fill the silence whenever we feel a nagging sense of hopeless or the emergence of the persistent underlying question “What is it all for? What does it all mean?” The best way to live is to get through each day as best you can.

3. EMBRACE STORY – There’s a Great Story being told, one we’ve fallen into and in which we all have a part to play. There’s an Author, a Director, a Weaver, and our life is one small colored thread in a massive, beautiful tapestry whose design we can’t yet fully see. We were born into the ultimate tale of Love, Adventure, and Romance. The Great Story is heading toward a dramatic conclusion, and we will share in a real happily ever after. The best way to live is to discover our part and enjoy playing it.

Which do you choose? Each one has pros and cons. None can be conclusively proven. All have many highly intelligent adherents. There are compelling arguments that can be made for all three. Listing those here is not my goal. I’d encourage you to consider your personal experiences along with the intellectual arguments for each option and decide for yourself.

I’ve weighed these competing world-views in my own life and have chosen to Embrace Story. Why? Firstly, because I’ve had numerous personal, subjective experiences that lead me to believe that it’s true. Secondly, I find the intellectual arguments for Story to be the most compelling (specifically the way the Story world-view explains the Existence of the Universe, the Fine-Tuning of the Universe, the Existence of Objective Morality, etc.) Finally, since none of the three can be conclusively proven, why not choose the most beautiful option? Why not select hope? Even if I’m wrong and Randomness is the true nature of the universe, in the end, what will I have lost by choosing to embrace Story?

Over the course of my fifty years, I, like everyone else, have had ups and downs, joys and struggles, incredible victories and staggering defeats. I’ve enjoyed moments of life-giving clarity and endured times of spirit-wrenching doubt. Through it all, I’ve discovered that embracing Story, getting to know the Author, and discovering my part to play has given me a sense of peace, joy, love, hope, direction, purpose, meaning, and fulfillment like nothing else I’ve ever found.

My sincere hope is that whatever world-view you select, one of these three or some variation, leads you to these same gifts. Choose well, and you’ll take a giant leap toward Becoming Yourself.

Some resources that have helped shape my thinking on the Embrace Story world-view:

The Sacred Romance by John Eldredge

Epic by John Eldredge

Another Name for Every Thing podcast by Richard Rohr (available wherever you listen to podcasts)

What Ancient Cedar Trees Taught Me About My Problems

After a long day of editing one of my novels, I was feeling brain dead and ready to crash in front of the TV. For whatever reason, I got a strong sense that I should take a walk instead. Trusting the intuition or God’s nudge or whatever it was, I grabbed my keys and headed out.

I wandered with no particular destination in mind. I had my headphones in, but rather than turn on an audio book or podcast, I just enjoyed the quiet. As I passed houses and apartments, I admired the architecture and wondered about the lives of the people who lived there.

I soon found myself in Capitol Park, one of my favorite haunts. It’s an island of curved paths, soaring trees, and green grass in the middle of bustling downtown Sacramento. I ambled slowly, without an agenda, soaking in the calm surroundings. Crossing the lawn in front of the striking dome of the State Capitol Building, I walked over to my favorite trees, a row of towering deodar cedars. Something about their massive girth, rough bark, giant limbs, and open foliage has always captured my imagination.

As I stood gazing up at these wooden monoliths, I thought of all that they had seen and withstood over their one-hundred and fifty years. The city has literally grown up around them. Storms have come and gone. Political leaders have changed. People have lived and died. Rain-soaked winters have yielded to sun-drenched summers. And still they stand.

It helped me see my problems in a new light. I often get worried and anxious about my day-to-day struggles. They can seem so big and important and long-lasting. But against the backdrop of these trees, somehow they began to feel smaller, more temporary, less weighty. As I stood beneath these ancient cedars, I could almost hear them whisper, Take a deep breath. Storms pass. Everything’s going to be okay.

I walked home feeling more full, open, and at peace than I have in a long time. I said a prayer of thanks for the message of the trees.

What I’m about to suggest is neither profound nor a miracle cure. It won’t make your problems go away, be they big or small. But if your day-to-day struggles are looming large or if you’re feeling a little overwhelmed, try taking a walk. Amble slowly. Let your thoughts wander. Take in whatever beauty you can find around you. Listen to the trees. You just might find a healthier perspective and a little peace. And you’ll have taken another step toward Becoming Yourself.

That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

The Bible, 2nd Corinthians 4:16-18 (New Living Translation)
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