Developing a Better You

Category: Spirit (Page 5 of 49)

The Moral Duty of Finding Inner Peace

Ultimately, we have just one moral duty: to reclaim large areas of peace in ourselves, more and more peace, and to reflect it toward others. And the more peace there is in us, the more peace there will also be in our troubled world.

Etty Hillesum

Etty Hillesum wrote those words in her journal while she was an inmate at a Jewish prison camp in 1943. She was killed at Auschwitz soon after at the age of twenty-nine. I am in awe that such wisdom and maturity came from someone in that bitterly cruel circumstance, let alone someone so young. 

Her description of the cultivation of inner peace as a moral duty really struck me. I often think of my pursuit of peace as a self-centered endeavor, one sought for my personal benefit. But upon reflection, it’s obvious that my having a greater sense of peace also benefits those closest to me. We all know there is a distinct quality difference between spending time with a prickly person or a peaceful person. So it makes sense to extend that idea beyond my immediate inner circle. The more I am at peace, the more peace I bring to every situation and person I encounter, and therefore the more peace I spread into our troubled world. 

So how do we cultivate inner peace? For me, there are both surface things and deeper things that help. The surface things are schedule balance, rest, a day off each week, prayer and meditation, time alone, time with family and friends, serving others, exercise, and hobbies I enjoy. The deeper things are having a sense of meaning and purpose, loving and being loved, and experiencing hope and security. I find those later elements in my relationships with God and the people closest to me. When my surface habits get out of rhythm, or I neglect those deeper relationships, I lose my sense of peace.

So how about you? How’s your inner peace these days? What surface activities help cultivate it? What deeper elements do you need? Establish peace-generating habits. Prioritize peace-giving relationships. Focus on expanding your inner peace today, for yourself and our world. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post (originally published in June 2021) was inspired by a meditation by Richard Rohr, founder of The Center for Action and Contemplation (www.cac.org). You can read more of Etty’s profound wisdom in that post here. The featured quote was by Etty Hillesum in An Interrupted Life: The Diaries, 1941-1943; and Letters from Westerbork, trans. Arnold J. Pomerans (Henry Holt and Company: 1996) p. 218.

The 4 D’s: A Sustainable Response to Suffering

Spoiler alert—the needs of the world are endless.

Poverty. Disease. Human trafficking. Food shortage. Climate change. Homelessness. Income inequality. Racism. Cancer. War. Political division. The list goes on.

For anyone who cares about the well-being of others, this deluge of suffering can be overwhelming. It certainly is for me at times. The problems of the world seem like a vast mountain peak, and in its looming shadow, I feel incredibly small.

In the past, I’ve fallen into three responses to the world’s pain:

1. DENY – I look away. Pretend the problems aren’t there. Focus on my own needs and desires. Cling to my distractions. Operate out of selfishness.

2. DESPAIR – Help a little here. Give a little there. Half-heartedly attempt a few good deeds without any plan or purpose because deep down it all feels hopeless. Operate out of guilt.

3. DESTROY – Become consumed with serving others. Act like it all depends on me. Drive myself to exhaustion. Operate out of duty.

None of these responses proved healthy or effective long term. But is there a better way? I think some keys can be found in this quote by the late Henri Nouwen, a highly regarded author, lecturer, and Harvard professor who left his enviable position to work with mentally challenged adults:

The more I think about the human suffering in our world and my desire to offer a healing response, the more I realize how crucial it is not to allow myself to become paralyzed by feelings of impotence and guilt. More important than ever is to be very faithful to my vocation to do well the few things I am called to do and hold on to the joy and peace they bring me.

henri nouwen

The healthy response to suffering that Henri describes is:

4. DEVOTION – Acknowledge the world’s pain without being consumed by it. Find one or two areas of suffering that resonate with your heart. Use your gifts to address them well. Let other areas go. Embrace the joy and peace you find along the way. Operate out of love.

We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that. This enables us to do something, and to do it very well.

Kenneth Untener in honor of Bishop Oscar Romero

Finding and maintaining a healthy response to suffering isn’t easy, but it is possible. Find where your passions meet the world’s needs. Use your gifts to meet them in sustainable ways. Rest. Let go. Trust that others will shoulder the burdens you were never meant to carry. Be joyful. Remember that you are loved. Love yourself. Operate out of that love. If you do, you’ll do your small part to ease the sufferings of the world, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Text excerpts taken from “You are the Beloved” by Henri J.M. Nouwen, © 2017 by The Henri Nouwen Legacy Trust. Published by Convergent Books. As shown in the Dec 21, 2022 daily meditation from The Henri Nouwen Society.

Prayer written by Kenneth Untener (bishop of Saginaw, Michigan, 1980–2004) in 1979 to honor Bishop Romero. See Scott Wright, Oscar Romero and the Communion of Saints: A Biography (Maryknoll, NY: Orbis Books, 2009), 153–154.

This post was originally published Jan 7, 2023.

Being is More Important Than Doing

Sometimes simple words are best.

I recently read a reflection on a deep truth—being is more important than doing. 

It’s a familiar concept, but as I’d just come off a busy season of travel and writing deadlines, the reminder hit home. I felt my breath deepen and my shoulders relax. Yes. Doing is good. Being is better.

Here are those simple words from the pen of the late author and Harvard professor Henri Nouwen:

I suspect that we too often have lost contact with the source of our own existence and have become strangers in our own house. We tend to run around trying to solve the problems of our world while anxiously avoiding confrontation with that reality wherein our problems find their deepest roots: our own selves. In many ways we are like the busy executive who walks up to a precious flower and says: “What for God’s sake are you doing here? Can’t you get busy somehow?” and then finds the flower’s response incomprehensible: “I am sorry, but I am just here to be beautiful.

How can we also come to this wisdom of the flower that being is more important than doing? How can we come to a creative contact with the grounding of our own life?

henri nouwen

Take time to pause. Breath deep. Be still. Do nothing. Reconnect with the source of your identity, be that God, the universe, or whatever forms the core of your being. If you do, you’ll take another relaxed step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published Aug 13, 2022. Text excerpts taken from “You are the Beloved” by Henri J.M. Nouwen, © 2017 by The Henri Nouwen Legacy Trust. Published by Convergent Books.  Shared in the August 6, 2022 Daily Meditation from the Henri Nouwen Society.

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