Developing a Better You

Category: Spirit (Page 8 of 51)

Being is More Important Than Doing

Sometimes simple words are best.

I recently read a reflection on a deep truth—being is more important than doing. 

It’s a familiar concept, but as I’d just come off a busy season of travel and writing deadlines, the reminder hit home. I felt my breath deepen and my shoulders relax. Yes. Doing is good. Being is better.

Here are those simple words from the pen of the late author and Harvard professor Henri Nouwen:

I suspect that we too often have lost contact with the source of our own existence and have become strangers in our own house. We tend to run around trying to solve the problems of our world while anxiously avoiding confrontation with that reality wherein our problems find their deepest roots: our own selves. In many ways we are like the busy executive who walks up to a precious flower and says: “What for God’s sake are you doing here? Can’t you get busy somehow?” and then finds the flower’s response incomprehensible: “I am sorry, but I am just here to be beautiful.

How can we also come to this wisdom of the flower that being is more important than doing? How can we come to a creative contact with the grounding of our own life?

henri nouwen

Take time to pause. Breath deep. Be still. Do nothing. Reconnect with the source of your identity, be that God, the universe, or whatever forms the core of your being. If you do, you’ll take another relaxed step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published Aug 13, 2022. Text excerpts taken from “You are the Beloved” by Henri J.M. Nouwen, © 2017 by The Henri Nouwen Legacy Trust. Published by Convergent Books.  Shared in the August 6, 2022 Daily Meditation from the Henri Nouwen Society.

A Surprising Secret to Increased Joy and Productivity

“See what happens when you tune your pace to the trickle of a stream, or the waft of a lazy breeze.”

chris advansun

This one is tricky for me.

I’m a list person. Few things give me more satisfaction than crossing things off my to-do list. I have a hard time relaxing when there are daily tasks left undone. So I often unconsciously drive myself through each one, trying to grind it out, mark it off and move quickly to the next.

That’s not a fun way to live. It can be productive, for awhile. But that approach often leaves me tense, exhausted and short-tempered. And when I finally do reach that free time at the end of the day, I’m often wired and irritable.

When I first read the above quote, my honest thought was, “That sounds nice, but you won’t get much done that way.”

I think I was wrong.

I’ve been experimenting with this approach. Moving more unhurriedly. Pausing more frequently to gaze out the window, chat with my wife or make an extra cup of tea. In short, taking my time.

It will come as no surprise to learn that I find those days far more relaxing and enjoyable than my striving ones. But I’ve also discovered that I get an amazing amount done. At the end of the day, I look back in astonishment at my productivity, especially because I often feel good versus feeling like a wrung-out sponge. It seems so counterintuitive.

This approach reminds me of my Uncle Fred. He’s a soft-spoken southern gentleman, kindhearted and full of simple wisdom. He talks seldom, but when he does, everyone listens because he only speaks when there’s something worthwhile to say.

My dad used to work construction with Uncle Fred. He told me that Fred was the most deceptively fast worker he ever saw. Whenever he’d see Fred on the construction site, my uncle was never in a hurry, always moving through the job with a casual grace. But at the end of the day, he’d done more work than anyone.

I could conjecture about why this approach to life works. How a gentler pace helps you think more clearly, lessons stress, increases motivation, and aids in connecting with others and with God or your Higher Power, if you have one. But the point is that it works, at least for me.

So I’m trying to make this my new normal. It’s not easy to recode fifty plus years worth of programming, but I’m making slow progress. And the rewards are motivating me to keep going.

How about you? Is your approach to your daily tasks more like a trickling stream or a raging river? Closer to a lazy breeze or a hurricane? Pause often. Take a few deep breaths. Gaze out the window. Play calming music. Imagine a stream or a breeze. You’ll find a more enjoyable and productive life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published Nov 13, 2021.

How to Be Happy

After twenty-six years, I was tired.

Being a professional musician was my dream. My focus. My passion. I’d fought, scratched, and clawed to make a living doing something I craved. Something I believed in. I loved it.

Until I didn’t. The passion faded, and I found myself going through the motions. I still had the skill, but I’d lost the heart. So I made one of the toughest decisions of my life. After thousands of performances, I walked off the stage for the last time.

Being an author was something I’d dreamed about since I was a kid but never pursued. When I chose the music path, I left the writing path behind me. 

But decades later, life led me back to that fork in the road. Walking away from music gave me the opportunity to walk toward writing. Tentatively, fearfully, I took my first halting steps toward my long-delayed author dream. It was hard. It was scary. It was daunting.

And I was alive again. It filled my thoughts, made me bound out of bed, and lit my heart on fire. The passion that once fueled my music career burned bright for my new creative pursuit. I went from a high level in my first career to the bottom rung of my second. And I was happy.

If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes.

andrew carnegie

Are you happy? Fulfilled? Do you have passion? Excitement? If not, follow Carnegie’s advice. Set a goal that commands your thoughts. Liberates your energy. Inspires your hopes. If you do, you’ll feel alive again, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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