Developing a Better You

Category: Spirit (Page 8 of 50)

How to Snap Out of a Funk

I love learning from my kids.

My daughter Kennedy McMann recently started a podcast called Sidebar, where she shares stories about her life and acting career, along with insights she’s gaining on her own personal development journey. 

In a recent episode, she talked about her struggles with anxiety and techniques she uses to snap out of funks. I found them so helpful that I wanted to share them with you (for deeper insights delivered with her trademark charm, check out Kennedy’s wonderful podcast here).

Graphic for Kennedy’s podcast. Art by my son Kilian McMann of Great Raven Design Co

1. TAKE A SOCIAL MEDIA BREAK

We’ve all heard the studies and statistics. Social media often leads to negative emotions that stem from comparing our lives with whitewashed versions of other people’s lives. It might be body image, homes, vacations, family dynamics, wealth, fill in the blank. Stepping away, even deleting the apps for a week or two, can help clear away those negative emotions. I’ve recently reduced my own social media usage and have felt the positive effects.

2. DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR HANDS

I love my career as a writer, but it produces few physical, tangible results. The moments I get to hold finished books in my hands are magical, but those are few and far between. That’s why I resonated with Kennedy’s recommendation to do or create something practical with your hands. It can be a hobby or a task. Kennedy has taken up cross-stitch and painting with watercolors. I recently spent time cleaning and doing maintenance on one of our rental houses to prep it for sale. Though I was initially dreading the work, I found it surprisingly satisfying. Seeing the immediate visible results of my efforts in a cleaner and better house lifted my mood.

3. MOVE YOUR BODY

We all know the benefits of physical exercise. My five-minute morning stretching routine has grown over time to fifteen minutes, and now includes a light workout with 20 pound dumbbells (Kennedy taught me some simple weight training tips). Why? Because it really does make me feel better (After I’m done, not during. Unfortunately, I’m not one of those people who enjoy the workout process). On the fun-while-doing side, I recently took a long hike in a cold pine forest with my daughter and son-in-law. It felt fantastic to be moving in a brisk and beautiful setting.

4. CONNECT WITH SOMEONE

As Kennedy points out in her podcast, this effort, along with all the others, can often feel like the last thing you want to do when you’re in a funk. You don’t feel like doing anything, even the things you know will help. But forcing yourself over the hump and connecting with someone for coffee or on a walk or even a video chat can really raise your spirits. You’ll get extra benefit if you’re honest and share that you’re feeling down. Simply admitting your struggles to another person somehow makes heavy times feel a little lighter. And you may find the other person understands, empathizes, and supports you. My weekly lunches with my accountability partner and monthly poker nights with longtime friends are life-giving connections I always look forward to.

How are you feeling these days? Are you in a funk? Take a social media break. Do something with your hands. Move your body. Connect with someone. If you do, the gray clouds will begin to part, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself. 

The Life-Changing Power of a 3 Minute Thanksgiving Exercise

Can three minutes really change your life?

I understand the skepticism. We’ve all heard too many “get rich or skinny quick” sales pitches to believe such a claim easily. All I can say is one simple exercise has worked wonders for my emotional and mental health.

Every night before bed, I gaze out the window at the dark skyline and reflect on things I’m thankful for. Things that went well that day. Tasks I accomplished. Meaningful conversations I had. Beautiful things I saw. Something that made me laugh or smile. People I spent time with. Even on hard, crushing, frustrating days, I can be grateful for health, for family, for a roof over my head and food to eat. For the gift of sleep and the hope of a new day.

That’s it. It really is that simple. Those few minutes of intentional thankfulness foster a positive, healthy perspective and help me avoid a victim mentality.

I’m glad that in the U.S. we have an annual holiday centered on being thankful, but a habit of daily gratitude is far more impactful.

Celebrate well this Thanksgiving weekend. Enjoy rest, family, friends, and good food. Then carry a little bit of Thanksgiving with you everyday. Establish a three-minute thankfulness routine. If you do, your emotional and mental health will rise, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Find Peace & Growth by Embracing Seasons

The smack of cold air made me question my choice.

Living in Phoenix Arizona has made me a wimp when it comes to low temperatures. But since I love to walk in the mornings, I donned multiple layers and headed out into the 32 degree Michigan sunrise (I know 32 degrees Fahrenheit is not that cold—like I said, a wimp).

Strolling through my sister-in-law’s quiet neighborhood was invigorating. The crisp air. The brilliant blue sky. The burnt orange autumn leaves. I leaned into the season and savored its gifts. 

My wife and I were in Michigan to visit our families, including our aging parents. All in their eighties, they are in the winter season of life, which places us in a season of increased care-giving. Watching them navigate the joys and challenges of aging is both heartening and painful.

The chilly temperatures and my elderly loved ones got me thinking about life’s seasons. The blend of good times and hard times is as inevitable as summer and winter, spring and fall. We can’t avoid seasons, but we can choose how we respond to them

Not surprisingly, I’ve often tried to cling to a good season, hoping to make it last. It seldom works. More often than not, I spoil the ending. The petals of the once-beautiful flower whither and fall, while I add water in vain.

In hard times, my default is to rush through as fast as possible. Once the unpleasant season is completed, I do my best to stuff it down and forget the dark days’ bitter wind, missing the opportunity for growth.

I’m trying to learn a better approach:

  1. Embrace each season as it comes, welcoming its presence, knowing it’s necessary for my growth.
  1. Savor the good seasons and cherish the meaningful memories they bring.
  1. Face the hard seasons with grace and open myself to the lessons they teach.
  1. At the appointed time, let each season go with gratitude.

What season of life are you in? Spring? Summer? Autumn? Winter? Embrace it. Savor the good. Learn from the hard. Let them go. If you do, your growth will flourish, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

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