Becoming Yourself

Developing a Better You

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The Moral Duty of Finding Inner Peace

Ultimately, we have just one moral duty: to reclaim large areas of peace in ourselves, more and more peace, and to reflect it toward others. And the more peace there is in us, the more peace there will also be in our troubled world.

Etty Hillesum

Etty Hillesum wrote those words in her journal while she was an inmate at a Jewish prison camp in 1943. She was killed at Auschwitz soon after at the age of twenty-nine. I am in awe that such wisdom and maturity came from someone in that bitterly cruel circumstance, let alone someone so young. 

Her description of the cultivation of inner peace as a moral duty really struck me. I often think of my pursuit of peace as a self-centered endeavor, one sought for my personal benefit. But upon reflection, it’s obvious that my having a greater sense of peace also benefits those closest to me. We all know there is a distinct quality difference between spending time with a prickly person or a peaceful person. So it makes sense to extend that idea beyond my immediate inner circle. The more I am at peace, the more peace I bring to every situation and person I encounter, and therefore the more peace I spread into our troubled world. 

So how do we cultivate inner peace? For me, there are both surface things and deeper things that help. The surface things are schedule balance, rest, a day off each week, prayer and meditation, time alone, time with family and friends, serving others, exercise, and hobbies I enjoy. The deeper things are having a sense of meaning and purpose, loving and being loved, and experiencing hope and security. I find those later elements in my relationships with God and the people closest to me. When my surface habits get out of rhythm, or I neglect those deeper relationships, I lose my sense of peace.

So how about you? How’s your inner peace these days? What surface activities help cultivate it? What deeper elements do you need? Establish peace-generating habits. Prioritize peace-giving relationships. Focus on expanding your inner peace today, for yourself and our world. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post (originally published in June 2021) was inspired by a meditation by Richard Rohr, founder of The Center for Action and Contemplation (www.cac.org). You can read more of Etty’s profound wisdom in that post here. The featured quote was by Etty Hillesum in An Interrupted Life: The Diaries, 1941-1943; and Letters from Westerbork, trans. Arnold J. Pomerans (Henry Holt and Company: 1996) p. 218.

Recover from Hard Times with the 3 Hs

I struggle to have life lessons stick.

Whenever I have a personal development insight, either taken from someone else’s wisdom or born of my own inner wrangling, I try to make it simple. Easy to remember. Sticky.

During a recent hard time, I came up with the 3 Hs. They are in no way new or novel. Many others have shared the same insights in different ways. This is just my own pneumonic attempt to remember these lessons and benefit from them in the future:

HEALING

I need healing for the wounds in my PAST. Acknowledge what happened. Embrace the pain. Have hard conversations. Forgive myself and others. Share the hurts with appropriate people. Learn from the scars. Let things go.

HELP

I need help with the issues in my PRESENT. These can be things like heath. A place to stay. Guidance. Money. Meaningful work. Managing important relationships. Do for myself what I can. Admit what I can’t. Seek help from family, friends, therapists, professionals, and agencies.

HOPE

I need hope for my FUTURE. Choosing a positive perspective. Believing something good is coming. Finding motivation to engage with life. Having someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to.

I’ve found these 3 Hs in myself, others, and God. I’ve done a lot of inner work “peeling my own onion.” I’ve opened up to family and close friends, asking for advice and help. I’ve been to therapy. I’ve prayed, trusted, and leaned on God. I regularly engage in physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual personal growth exercises. I am far from perfect and still struggle, but focusing on the 3 Hs has really helped me recover from hard times.

Where do you find the Healing, Help, and Hope? In yourself, in others, in your Higher Power? Try all three. Be honest. Do your inner work. Share appropriately. Be vulnerable. Ask for what your need. Be open to receive it. If you do, you’ll be on your way to recovery, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself. 

10 Ancient Values for Modern Joy

Sometimes I’m not very smart.

In my search for meaning, joy, and a life well-lived, I often look for new insights, fresh ideas, and novel experiences. But usually the tools I need to achieve those goals have been proclaimed for ages. 

I was reminded of that truth when I read author Randy Woodley’s list of ten values essential to Indigenous wisdom:

  • Respect: Respect everyone. Everyone and everything is sacred.
  • Harmony: Seek harmony and cooperation with people and nature.
  • Friendship: Increase the number and depth of your close friends and family.
  • Humor: Laugh at yourself; we are merely human.
  • Equality: Everyone expresses their voice in decisions.
  • Authenticity: Speak from your heart.
  • History: Learn from the past. Live presently by looking back.
  • Balance work and rest: Work hard, but rest well.
  • Generosity: Share what you have with others.
  • Accountability: We are all interconnected. We are all related.

Values like respect, authenticity, and generosity come more naturally to me. Humor, history, and harmony are more of a struggle. But reviewing them all helps me realign my perspective and refocus my personal development efforts.

Which of those values are strengths for you? Which are a struggle? Be honest. Remember no one is perfect. Know that you are not alone. Share your reflections with people you trust. Ask them to share their own. Commit to helping each other grow. Celebrate your (and their) successes. If you do, you’ll find modern joy from these ancient values, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Randy Woodley, Becoming Rooted: One Hundred Days of Reconnecting with Sacred Earth (Minneapolis, MN: Broadleaf Books, 2022), 241–242. As shared in the Feb 10, 2024 Daily Meditation by the Center for Action and Contemplation (cac.org)

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