Becoming Yourself

Developing a Better You

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A Powerfully Pithy & Productive Poem

I’ve never been a huge fan of poetry.

That said, I’m learning to appreciate how a good poem can pack an outsized punch in limited words. This one by writer-activist Lydia Wylie-Kellermann struck me as refreshingly honest, helpful and hopeful:

Dear friends, 
ask the hard questions. 
Give thanks for uncertainty. 
Trust yourself. 
Lean into the wisdom of community.  
Don’t take yourself too seriously.  
Know that the arc is long. 
Lean on the ancestors. 
Ask the creatures for advice. 
Follow the wind. 
Know that there is no right way.  
Trust others on their path. 
Find yours. 
Embrace the mess. 
Give your life to a 
holy, undeniable “Yes!” 
Whatever that yes may be. 
And know, that this “had to happen.”  
How lucky we are to be alive!*  

Here are the three lines that most impacted me:

1. Don’t take yourself too seriously

This is a tough one. I’ve always been a sensitive deep-thinker who is concerned with “doing it right.” Add to that a life-long focus on personal development, and you can see how I can be self-analyzing to a fault. Fortunately, this is getting easier as I get older (I’m fifty-five). I’m more at peace with my foibles and frailties, and find it easier to laugh at myself.

2. Follow the wind

I’m a planner. I get great satisfaction from crossing things off my to-do list, so it’s not surprising that I struggle with spontaneity. Follow the wind? But my weather app doesn’t tell me where the wind is blowing so how can I plan? This is another area of slow growth for me. Living for the past seven months as a nomad with no primary residence has forced me to learn to go with the flow more easily.

3. Embrace the mess

Ugh. I hate clutter. Things not being in their proper place stresses me out and makes it difficult for me to relax. While I can usually control the physical clutter of my surroundings, the emotional, mental and spiritual turmoil of life is often beyond my ability to organize. Learning to embrace and find peace in the inherent messiness of life is an ongoing challenge. 

What lines resonate with you? Don’t overthink it. Let your gut identify which insights speak to you. Pick one to reflect on. Put it on a sticky note on your bathroom mirror. Let it sink into your heart and encourage you on your journey. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

*Lydia Wylie-Kellermann, This Sweet Earth: Walking with Our Children in the Age of Climate Collapse (Minneapolis, MN: Broadleaf Books, 2024), 17–18, 19.  As shared in the Aug 24, 2024 Daily Meditation from the Center for Action and Contemplation (cac.org).

A Freeing Perspective on Serving Others

Sometimes powerful things are said simply.

The following excerpt from the writings of Henri Nouwen is a great example. It stands out to me because it addresses my struggle to balance serving others with enjoying life, a topic I wrote about here.

Nouwen’s perspective gave me peace and clarity regarding that struggle. He approaches it with a spiritual bent, but the concept applies regardless of your place on the belief spectrum. I hope you find it helpful as you take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

The more I think about the human suffering in our world and my desire to offer a healing response, the more I realize how crucial it is not to allow myself to become paralyzed by feelings of impotence and guilt. More important than ever is to be very faithful to my vocation to do well the few things I am called to do and hold on to the joy and peace they bring me. I must resist the temptation to let the forces of darkness pull me into despair and make me one more of their many victims. I have to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus and on those who followed him and trust that I will know how to live out my mission to be a sign of hope in this world.

– Henri Nouwen, You Are the Beloved

For the Dec 21, 2024 Daily Meditation from the Henri Nouwen Society. Text excerpts taken from “You are the Beloved” by Henri J.M. Nouwen © 2017 by The Henri Nouwen Legacy Trust.

The Mind-Expanding Power of Learning Other Worldviews

I’m still learning. 

I grew up with the belief that there was only one path to Truth and rightness with God—Christianity. I left that notion behind many years ago. While Christianity in its purest form (not the politicized and judgmental version often on display today) has much to offer a Truth seeker, so do many other worldviews.

One of the perspectives that I’m relatively ignorant of is the Sikh religion. I was fascinated to read a short overview of that faith in a recent Daily Meditation from the Center for Action and Contemplation. Sikhism has a compelling origin story with tenants that align with the Wisdom Tradition that forms the foundation of the great faiths of the world—there is a Divine power in the universe. A spark of the Divine is within each of us. Developing our connection with the Divine is a worthwhile endeavor. Our separateness from the Divine, each other, and creation is an illusion as we are all a part of the whole. 

If you’re interested in a compelling example of a winsome worldview that is probably closer to your own than you realize, read on. If you do, you’ll broaden your mind as you take another step toward Becoming Yourself. 

In an interview for the Daily Meditations, Sikh activist Valarie Kaur tells a brief story of Guru Nanak (1469–1539), founder of the Sikh faith: 

The story goes that every morning a man named Nanak sat by a river and meditated on the world and took the pain of the world into his heart until it crescendoed inside of him. One morning he did not return from the river. People thought him a dead man, a drowned man. The sun rose and the sun fell. The sun rose and the sun fell. And on the third day, a figure was spotted, seated in a cemetery covered in ash. It was Nanak, but not Nanak. He had been rebirthed in those waters and his first utterance was “Nako Hindu. Nako Musliman.” There is no Hindu. There is no Muslim. This was more than treat your neighbor as you would yourself. This was more than taking in the stranger. This was: There is no stranger. There is no you-against-me at all. We constitute each other. [1] 

Kaur describes how his followers transformed their culture:  

[Nanak] began to sing powerful mystical poetry, accompanied by a Muslim bard. For twenty-four years, Guru Nanak traveled in each of the cardinal directions on foot…. Everywhere he went, his songs held a vision that landed in people’s hearts: We can all taste the truth of Oneness, and when we do, we are inspired to care for one another, and fight for one another. Perhaps what was most powerful about Guru Nanak is how he distilled the mystical heart of all the world’s wisdom traditions into its essence: love. 

Guru Nanak’s followers were called Sikhs, seekers or students…. Sikhs believed that people of all castes, genders, faiths, races, and places were equal…. It was a radical experiment that rebelled against the caste hierarchy and feudal order of the era, a mysticism that inspired revolutionary social change…. The ideal archetype in the Sikh tradition became the sant sipahi: the sage warrior. [2] 

Kaur’s grandfather’s example shaped the trajectory of her work:  

My grandfather was the first sage warrior I knew…. Papa Ji tied his turban every day, clasped his hands behind his back, and surveyed the world through the eyes of wonder. When he listened to kirtan, sacred music, he closed his eyes and let the music resound wondrously within him; he wrote poetry in his garden….

As I fell asleep each night, Papa Ji would sing the Mool Mantr, the foundational verse that opens the Guru Granth Sahib, our sacred canon of musical wisdom. It begins with the utterance “Ik Onkar,” which means Oneness, ever-unfolding. “All of Sikh wisdom flows from here,” Papa Ji would say. All of us are part of the One. Separateness is an illusion: There is no essential separateness between you and me, you and other people, you and other species, or you and the trees. You can look at anyone or anything and say: You are a part of me I do not yet know. [3]  

As featured in the Jan 16, 2025 Daily Meditation from the Center for Action and Contemplation (cac.org). [1] Adapted from Valarie Kaur, “Becoming a Sage Warrior,” Daily Meditations, October 28, 2024, Center for Action and Contemplation, video, 38:13.  [2] Valarie Kaur, Sage Warrior: Wake to Oneness, Practice Pleasure, Choose Courage, Become Victory (One World, 2024), xix, xx. [3] Kaur, Sage Warrior, xxi–xxii.  

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