Becoming Yourself

Developing a Better You

Page 24 of 94

A Birthday Reflection: 3 Reasons Life is Good

June 10, 2023 / / 0 Comments

I’m getting old. 

Now that I’m fifty-four, there’s no denying that I’ve become what my younger self considered “really old.” Mid-fifties? That was ancient. 

Perspective changes with time. I do not feel old. Am I a little slower? Tire more easily? Have a few new aches and pains? Sure. But this season is pretty amazing, and I wouldn’t go back to my younger days. 

I reflected on why I feel energized and hopeful lately, and here’s what I came up with:

1. MY RELATIONSHIPS ARE GOOD

My wife Lisa and I just celebrated our 32nd anniversary. She’s my best friend, and I’m looking forward to however many more years we have together. I’m having a blast interacting with my adult kids, who are married to great partners and established in careers they love. I have long-time friends that I see regularly, and my relationship with God is ever evolving.

It hasn’t been easy. Marriage is hard. Raising kids is hard. Nurturing friendships is hard. Relating to God is hard. But the years of effort we’ve all put in together is bearing a lot of fruit and has been totally worth it. 

2. I’M EXCITED ABOUT MY CAREER

Starting a new career in my fifties was daunting, especially in the highly competitive and uncertain field of novel writing. I spent far too long dragging my feet. Coming up with excuses. Rationalizing away my dream.

Until I didn’t. With a helpful push from my wife, I finally jumped in, and after long years of effort, my first two books are on shelves. I just completed my first book tour and have two more books coming out in the next seven months. While challenging, being an author feels fresh, energizing, and life-giving.

3. I’VE MAINTAINED HEALTHY HABITS

Personal development is something I’ve pursued for as long as I can remember. Sometimes it’s lead me down harmful alleys as I got too obsessed with a routine or exaggerated my own self importance. I often clung to old habits when life seasons changed and resisted embracing new patterns. 

But I’ve kept trying, kept learning, kept growing. It has served me well. Physically, I could lose some weight, but I’m happy with with my mobility and energy level thanks to my daily stretching and workout routine. I sometimes struggle with anxiety, but I’m usually upbeat and at peace thanks to daily mediation and prayer. Taking a day off each week to do things I enjoy does wonders for my perspective and positivity.

Do you feel invigorated, energized, and passionate about your life or would tired, flat, and bored be more accurate descriptors? Be honest with yourself. Invest in important relationships. Pursue your passions. Develop and maintain healthy habits. If you do, you’ll discover a renewed life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself. 

Feeling Jumbled? Try Organizing Something

June 3, 2023 / / 2 Comments

It had bugged me for months.

My wife and I have limited space in our small condo. We’re both book lovers, so our bookshelf was overflowing, and our novel floor stacks were a disorganized mess. We only have one closet for all our clothes, luggage, personal items, and supplies to run our author business. Over time, things had become jumbled and hard to find.

I’d finally had enough. I emptied our supply cupboards, tossed unneeded items, added a shelf, and put things back in a more logical way. We went through our clothes and culled our book collection. I arranged the remaining books by category, then hauled five full garbage bags to Goodwill.

With our reorganized closet and book collection, not only are things easier to find and more visually pleasing, but I feel lighter, more relaxed. My mind seems clearer, and my thoughts more organized. I’m reminded how much my inner state is affected by my outer one. When my surroundings are cluttered and chaotic, my mind and heart often follow suit.

The correlation is even greater with my schedule. When my days and nights are packed with events, meetings, and obligations, my inner world is muddled, like silt stirred in a pond. My recent sixteen-day book tour was an endless stream of people, places, and presentations, leaving me emotionally and mentally exhausted. Now, after some days off and clearing my schedule, my equilibrium has returned.

Are you feeling jumbled these days? Are the waters of your mind and heart muddied? Try organizing something. A drawer. A closet. Your digital or physical desktop. A shelf. A room. Prioritize your schedule. Build in margin. Say no to things. If you do, the clear waters will soon return, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

2 Keys to Achieving Your Dreams (part 2): Perseverance

May 27, 2023 / / 0 Comments

I stared at my laptop in despair.

On the screen were the Publishers Weekly announcements of new book deals next to photos of smiling authors. Of course they were smiling. They’d just had their publishing dream come true. Unlike me.

Last week I talked about the first key to achieving your dreams—being willing to pivot (you can read that here). After much procrastinating, I had pivoted from my tired dream of being a musician to my vibrant dream of being an author, but results were slow in coming. After three years of hard work, I’d encountered only a mountain of rejection.

My bestselling author wife Lisa McMann and many of my published author friends gave me the same advice—don’t give up. Keep fighting. Keep pushing. Keep working. Persevere. As one friend put it, “The main difference between an aspiring author and a published one is often that the published one didn’t quit.”

So I kept going. Kept writing. Kept studying my craft. Kept putting myself out there. And after three rejected novels, a fresh idea came. A spooky monster mystery series called Monsterious. I crafted it in a creative way and handed it off to my agent. A few weeks later, I got the call. It had sold in a four book deal to Penguin Random House, the largest English-language trade publisher in the world. 

What’s your dream? Have you pivoted toward it? If so, don’t give up. Keep learning. Keep working. Keep seeking help. Keep believing. Keep persevering. If you do, your dream will soon loom large, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

If you’d like more info on my published books, click here.

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