Becoming Yourself

Developing a Better You

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Want a Full Life? Balance the New and the Familiar

Nomadic life is a wise teacher.

In 2024, my wife Lisa and I sold our home and most of our possessions and for the last 14 months have lived nomadically. We stay in hotels, AirBnbs, on cruise ships, and with friends and family all over the world.

This lifestyle is bursting with benefits—freedom, spontaneity, low fixed expenses, no home maintenance, and meeting interesting people in fascinating places while having new experiences across the globe.

But there are drawbacks—transition days (waking up in one place, going to sleep in another) are hard, we miss having a place with our favorite furniture and decor, and time-consuming travel planning is tedious.

Now in year two of this journey, we’re learning to lean into the benefits and better manage the drawbacks. We’re “building our nomadic muscles” as one nomadic writer put it, and figuring out what works for us. There’s no one way to do this lifestyle.

One of the lessons I’m learning is the need to balance the new and the familiar. We spent much of this past summer traveling in Canada, Greenland, Iceland, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, England, and the Netherlands. We explored new places, took new hikes, ate new foods, met new people. My heart and mind were stretched by different cultures and perspectives. It was exhilarating, eye-opening, wonderful. 

It was also tiring. After a while, it felt like I couldn’t absorb any more “newness.” I found myself craving the familiar.

We’re spending the next few months back in our former home state of Arizona in the US, staying with dear friends and pet sitting for several repeat clients in a neighborhood we love.

And it feels good. Right. Needed. Grounding. I can already feel my shoulders relaxing, my mind settling, my breath deepening, my energy returning.

The lesson I’m learning is this—I need the new for growth, excitement, and freshness. I need the familiar for stability, refocus, and renewal. For a full life, the beauty is in the balance.

How’s your balance? Is your life feeling boring or stale? Seek freshness in a new place, a new relationship, a new hobby, a new routine. Are you feeling overly stretched and road-weary? Seek familiarity in a comforting place, a grounding relationship, a beloved routine. Balance the new with the familiar. If you do, you’ll enjoy a full, energized life, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.

Recover from Hard Times with the 3 Hs

I struggle to have life lessons stick.

Whenever I have a personal development insight, either taken from someone else’s wisdom or born of my own inner wrangling, I try to make it simple. Easy to remember. Sticky.

During a recent hard time, I came up with the 3 Hs. They are in no way new or novel. Many others have shared the same insights in different ways. This is just my own pneumonic attempt to remember these lessons and benefit from them in the future:

HEALING

I need healing for the wounds in my PAST. Acknowledge what happened. Embrace the pain. Have hard conversations. Forgive myself and others. Share the hurts with appropriate people. Learn from the scars. Let things go.

HELP

I need help with the issues in my PRESENT. These can be things like heath. A place to stay. Guidance. Money. Meaningful work. Managing important relationships. Do for myself what I can. Admit what I can’t. Seek help from family, friends, therapists, professionals, and agencies.

HOPE

I need hope for my FUTURE. Choosing a positive perspective. Believing something good is coming. Finding motivation to engage with life. Having someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to.

I’ve found these 3 Hs in myself, others, and God. I’ve done a lot of inner work “peeling my own onion.” I’ve opened up to family and close friends, asking for advice and help. I’ve been to therapy. I’ve prayed, trusted, and leaned on God. I regularly engage in physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual personal growth exercises. I am far from perfect and still struggle, but focusing on the 3 Hs has really helped me recover from hard times.

Where do you find the Healing, Help, and Hope? In yourself, in others, in your Higher Power? Try all three. Be honest. Do your inner work. Share appropriately. Be vulnerable. Ask for what your need. Be open to receive it. If you do, you’ll be on your way to recovery, and you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself. 

INTERESTED IN MY NOMADIC LIFESTYLE NEWSLETTER? CLICK HERE.

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This post was originally published May 25, 2024.

Being is More Important Than Doing

Sometimes simple words are best.

I recently read a reflection on a deep truth—being is more important than doing. 

It’s a familiar concept, but as I’d just come off a busy season of travel and writing deadlines, the reminder hit home. I felt my breath deepen and my shoulders relax. Yes. Doing is good. Being is better.

Here are those simple words from the pen of the late author and Harvard professor Henri Nouwen:

I suspect that we too often have lost contact with the source of our own existence and have become strangers in our own house. We tend to run around trying to solve the problems of our world while anxiously avoiding confrontation with that reality wherein our problems find their deepest roots: our own selves. In many ways we are like the busy executive who walks up to a precious flower and says: “What for God’s sake are you doing here? Can’t you get busy somehow?” and then finds the flower’s response incomprehensible: “I am sorry, but I am just here to be beautiful.

How can we also come to this wisdom of the flower that being is more important than doing? How can we come to a creative contact with the grounding of our own life?

henri nouwen

Take time to pause. Breath deep. Be still. Do nothing. Reconnect with the source of your identity, be that God, the universe, or whatever forms the core of your being. If you do, you’ll take another relaxed step toward Becoming Yourself.

This post was originally published Aug 13, 2022. Text excerpts taken from “You are the Beloved” by Henri J.M. Nouwen, © 2017 by The Henri Nouwen Legacy Trust. Published by Convergent Books.  Shared in the August 6, 2022 Daily Meditation from the Henri Nouwen Society.

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