About fifteen years ago, I was a parent chaperone for an elementary school field trip to a nature center in Phoenix Arizona. The park ranger said the desert climate we lived in was not naturally equipped to support the current population, and that our presence was having a negative effect on the environment. Then he had us all repeat something that I remember to this day:

“I am part of the problem. I am part of the solution.”

His point was crystal clear. My presence here—my driving a car, my using water, my taking up space—was contributing to the strain on the desert. I needed to acknowledge that I was part of the problem while embracing the fact that I was not a helpless bystander. My choices and actions could be part of the solution.

I’ve come to realize that lesson not only applies to living in the desert but to all of life. Racism—I am part of the problem, and I am part of the solution. Economic disparity—I am part of the problem, and I am part of the solution. Climate change, social disunity, gender bias, name your societal issue—I am a part of both the problem and the solution. Saying that my words and silence, my action and inaction, my attitudes and behaviors have no impact on those issues would show a disregard for how interconnected we all are. Just as my presence in the desert impacts the climate, my presence in society impacts our common struggles, for good or for ill.

This idea also applies to my personal world. My fears. My insecurities. My anxieties. My failings. My shortcomings. Many factors play into the issues I face, but my choices substantially contribute to them. I am part of the problem, and I am part of the solution. While I can’t control much of what happens to me, I can control how I respond to it. I can choose not to play the victim, the martyr or the saint.

That said, a mature perspective also acknowledges that I’m only a part of the problems and solutions that both I and society face. I alone didn’t get myself or society into our respective messes. I had help.

On the personal side, trauma, home environment, bad luck, my inborn matrix of personality, intelligence and gifting all played a role in my current problems. I can’t get out of them alone. I need help—people to speak into my life with compassionate, objective wisdom, giving me the support, tools and encouragement I require to heal and grow. And people need me to do the same for them.

When I look at our joint struggles, I find I’m in good company. Many others have contributed to our collective problems, and we can only effectively address them together. I need people I can stand beside to tackle society’s ills, adding my small voice to a growing chorus that becomes a deafening roar, leading to real progress and systematic change.

The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.

Frederick Buechner

So how about you? How will you respond? Admit that you are part of the problem. Own the role you’ve played in your personal and our collective struggles. Admit that you are part of the solution. Find and embrace your role in healing yourself and our world. If you’re a person of faith, consider adopting one of my recurring prayers: “God, help me know who I am and what is mine to do.” Ask for and accept help from others, and give your help in return. If you do, you’ll take another step toward Becoming Yourself.